


It could have been worse...

by Scarlet_Blade9



Series: It could have been worse... [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Child Abuse, Child Severus Snape, Death Eaters, I will add more tags according to the story, Legilimency, Occlumency, Other, Sane Tom Riddle, Young Severus Snape, it is my first fanfic written to losen my nerve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:03:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 73,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24474691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlet_Blade9/pseuds/Scarlet_Blade9
Summary: In canon, we know that Severus childhood was awful, but what if it could be worse? What if he has attracted unwanted ( or maybe wanted? )  attention because of his talent from the Greatest Dark Wizard in existence? Would not being overlooked be better or worse for him? How his life would proceed?Feel welcome to see it for yourself.PS: He become a ward here later in the story.Edit: worse as for wizarding world.
Relationships: Abraxas Malfoy & Tom Riddle, Evan Rosier & Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy & Severus Snape, Severus Snape & Tom Riddle | Voldemort
Series: It could have been worse... [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783453
Comments: 177
Kudos: 77





	1. The beginning of new story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking ^^

The man was sitting in a beautiful, seemingly old, in an antique way, besides the table of similar manner. He was handsome, looking around his twenties, with his hair of dark color and similarly were so his eyes. He was smiling politely, through this smile wasn’t reaching his eyes. If one were to describe the look presented In them, it would be darkness. Despite his beautiful features, there was an aura of danger around the man, something both repelling and drawing. In the chair next to him was sitting a man, also quite stunning, the most recognizable were his blond hair and grey eyes. He was trying to look relaxed, but it was easily to see that he was unnerved. Suddenly the ‘pop’ was heard and a strange being brought a tea.

  
"Master, Matty brought tea, what else can Matty do for you? " while asking, the little existence wasn’t trying to look at anything else outside of the floor, his voice was filled with fear, but it was had to say whether it was directed at his master or his quest.

  
"Nothing else, you’re dismissed " said addressed man and after a moment he added "Punish yourself for being unprepared, next time I should get tea exactly when I want it, you understand? "

  
" Yes, Master, Matty will iron its ears to remember " and with the last bow the house elf disappeared with a ‘pop’.

  
At the same moment the blond man directed his full attention to his quest.

  
"Tom, it is my pleasure to have you here " his tone was polite, showing the perfect unbringing and etiquette of the pureblood family "The last time we heard from you, you were in Albania. Did you found what you wanted? " after hearing the question, the quest smiled, the smile itself despite being beautiful, was cold and didn’t possess a warm it should.

  
"Well, it is my pleasure to see you again as well, Abraxas. To answer your question, to some extent yes, but not everything I wanted. I was supposed to spent there a little longer, but I found something marvelous there and had to took her back. After all, I didn’t want her damaged, you see " over hearing ‘her’ the eyes of Lord Malfoy got wider, he couldn’t picture who could be this her to make the person before him go back before the time he planned. Before he could ask the question, Tom beat him to it with explanation "Snake’s maledictus, you see, her name is Nagini by the way. She’s utterly lovely " Tom has said with the growing smile of his "unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, she can’t change her shape, but on the scale of poison, I believe only basilisk is higher when it comes to venom " the tingle of fear filled the stomach of the other man, but he success in not letting it show on his face, showing Tom your fear is always a bad idea "but enough about me, old friend, tell me of what has changed recently here. I suppose I’m not up to date with everything going on. "

  
"Many things, you were gone for a long time after all, the most important though would be Albus Dumbledore becoming the headmaster of Hogwart. Lucius,my son, is supposed to start next year, I’m contemplating sending him to Durmstrang, but… All of our family has gone to Hogwart, the thought that the tradition would be broken because of him is way too displeasing, so I’m still not sure what to do. Outside of greater influence of Dumbledore, everything else remained the same, friend. The only other loud case would be Eileen… " at that moment, Lord Malfoy wondered whether it is something worth mentioning to his friend. After all, he and Eileen weren’t close in school, the only reason he knew her himself was the friendship between their families. After she disgraced herself and married the muggle, he didn’t have any contact with her. What a pity and waste of good blood….

  
The sound of his quest clearing throat remind him that he was silent for some time and deep in thoughts. He pushed them away and go back to reality.  
"What about her? I have already heard about her scandal, why brought it back? " he asked as a matter-of-fact and with annoyed tone. It suggested that either his host should hurry up and explained or he would be sorry. There was no time to waste then.

  
"The muggle she married, absolutely pity she made such a bad choice in life, had apparently killed her, tried to kill their mudblood son and accidentally killed himself in some way. The boy lives and as his only relatives don’t want to have anything to do with their dauther’s half-blood son, he will be going to orphanage. To be honest, I was thinking of visiting him, after all in a few years he will go to Hogwart as well and the chances are he will be Slytherin, after all his mother was. Besides, he is a witness and getting to know how one of pure blood, even blood traitor, died may be useful in the campaign against them and that muggle-lover fool. After all, it is example of how we all may end up, if they are not subdue, isn’t it? " the last words were nearly mocking, the hatred with which the word ‘ muggle’ was said could not be mistaken.

The men called Tom was taking the new information in, suddenly his face lit up and with a smile he said:

  
" Yes, it can be definitely useful, can’t it? Make sure the prophet makes a big case from it, just in case Ministry or Dumbledore would try to cover it up. After all, the people deserve to know the consequences of being in close proximity with Muggles " the disgust could be felt from afar and couldn’t be mistaken for nothing else " The boy, hm? What are the chance that the man didn’t die accidentally? Well, of course accidental magic could be counted as one as well. If I’m right, I would like to see the boy myself, after all you have no skill in legillemency and taking his words for granted won’t do, isn’t it right? " the black haired man looked quite interested in news, as if he get a new piece to play – "any information may be useful and not all would be attained the normal way. Moreover, no one would let you give a victim veritaserum, so he might lie to you " now there was a knowing smirk on his face.

  
"You think the kid could lie to me? After all those years in politics, I would think you had more faith in my abilities " said the blond man, who was clearly offended by this remark  
"Not doubting your abilities, dear Abraxas, but the kid is like what? 6? We have reasons to believe these kind of situation happened before, then in order to survive he would learn faster how to lie to protect himself, he’s still alive after all? " the words were clearly enough to smooth the pride of the Malfoy, though he didn’t believe it was possible for himself to lose to six years old mudblood. He decided against saying this argument though, after all he know his friend background. His quest went on when he decided that the words sink in " and in case he refuse to talk I can make out the details from memories, so it is safer routine. And lastly… " he trailed for a moment before continuing " it would annoyed the old fool that I’m visiting the vicitim, wouldn’t it? For me, the best solution and the safest one " the look he gave Abraxas at the moment was full of malice and joy, as if the simple thought of annoying Albus Dumbledore was more than enough to waste his time like that. Moreover, Lord Malfoy know that it was probably the case, otherwise he wouldn’t give the boy the time of a day.

  
After that they went on planning much bigger things, the one who would change the magic world altogether. The problem was whether the magical world was ready for what this man, Tom Marvollo Riddle known among Slytherins as Lord Voldemort, has planned for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First one done, let me know if anyone had read it, might make me feel fluffy ^^


	2. The despair visible in ones' eyes

Sometimes I wonder what it takes to be happy. Ma said once that before da was a charming, funny person who cared for her greatly. Before as before I was born that is. I had the first accidental magic when I was little, barely one month old child. Or I might have even before, who knows, the fact was this was when da get to know about ma being a witch, magic, me a wizard… and everything got lost… When she was in pain after da was not good and hurt her, when I tried to make her feel better, she often said it is my fault… I suppose if she said so, it must be right, she’s always right, she’s a witch! Or a freak if what da is saying is true… I’m not sure, cause other kids also think I’m freak. So they may be right. Maybe it’s why da hurt me and ma, maybe I was so naughty and do things so I deserve it. But I hate pain… so I had devised the way to be invisible to da when he’s moving funny. I learned how to walk without making sounds, how to get food without being noticed, how to stay awake and hide if da is angry… How to tune them down when they are arguing… this one took me longer through. But now I can hear and not hear at the same time!

The worst is if I make an eye contact with da or ma. For some reason I can from time to time hear some mean thing toward me without them moving lips! Always had headache after it. When I asked ma, she said I’m imagining things. Mostly I just know if someone want to hurt me or not. Maybe it is part of this freakish thing da hates us for. Today is worse than normal. Ma and Da are arguing, but it is only getting worse and louder. I’m behind the worn down and damaged from one side sofa, normally I hide in the corner and become as small as possible – almost invisible, you know, my skill – but now they are shouting there and I had to change place… when I was smaller, I was crying but after learning to tune it all down, I don’t anymore. No more reason for da to punish me. Boys don’t cry, can’t.

*BANG*

And shouting stopped. Everything stopped…. Something is wrong, they never stopped like that before… so now is the time to check if ma need help or maybe if I need to run. There is a park where I can hide for a night until da is less angry with me. But ma… I need to check if ma is alright. Suddenly there is sth wet near me, can’t see so I came closer avoiding it, cause ma may need help to tidy it up. When I take a peak, ma is on the floor, unmoving… Da has knife in hand… and he put it into ma many times… but… if you do it… people dies! Bob, our neighbor, said so! I need to help ma! I’m scared. So scared. Ma. I need to help ma. How do I help not to die?! How do I stop da… I’m small and weak.. How do I become strong? But I have no time to think. Now da looks at me. His eyes are crazy and I can see it again, his thought, how much he want me to die, to die like ma, to be gone… Something heavy lands on my cheek and I know da punch me, then I feel a feat on my stomach next. I’m lying on my back, curling on myself. The knife in da’s fist is changing position.

Oh. He’s gonna kill me now.

Then I will die without happiness?

Ma was happy once too. I want to be happy.

To be happy I need to live…

So I can’t die… I CAN’T!

And da goes flying, hit the wall and the knife is in his chest now… I’m taking my chance and goes to ma. She needs help so we can fix da too. But no matter what I do, ma does not open her eyes. And it is final now. He killed her. He killed my Ma… so I don’t try to help him, just look like his blood is purring out. I look and look until somebody comes in and takes me out. I didn’t realize how wet my face is until the person who took me out is wiping it. Some Miss is trying to give me some vials. I know it to be potion. Ma does potion. I helped her few times, she said I’m naturally talented. Oh, she did potion. There is no more ma. Nor da. I’m alone. Oh. Not just alone, I’m alone… Even so, I don’t want potion, it may be poison, ma always said not to take from strangers. So I refuse, but she don’t give up. In the end she take out her magic stick or wand as ma called them and I can’t move. She’s apologizing, I think, but she’s still giving me it by force. And all goes black.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

There was some notification about something happening in muggle world in some industrial city called Cokeworth on some street called Spinner’s end. Nothing which would normally be important enough to sent an auror, not to mention Fleamont Potter of all. But there were two facts which warranted that he might if have time take a case. 

Firstly, Eileen Snape nee Prince lives there and has a child. If the problem is accidental magic and somebody decided to see what happened, the Statue might have been broken and there would be need to obliviate witnesses. Eileen was out of wizarding world for long and apparently stopped using magic or so people said. No need to take chances that the case would not be handled properly when he had time.

Secondly, she was a blood traitor who decided to marry a muggle, was disowned and left on her own. It doesn’t mean that she won’t have some unexpected and unpleasant visitors, many of pureblood families hates her now and would like to hurt her, consider those purists, Blacks for example or worse, sb sent by her parents… They might have left her alone for so long, because they didn’t want to attract attention and focused on getting back from this ‘shame’. Really, I can’t understand them at all.

Last reason was more personal, her kid would be the same years as his own and he thought checking out on him and his mother when they are not living in wizarding word would be sensible. Who knows, he may be potentially a friend of his beloved son. He would very much like to see him even if only to see if he doesn’t over spoiling James. Which he apparently does by what everyone says, but he can’t not give everything he can to his star. Maybe, if Eileen need some additional help, he will help her with papers for ministry and eventually financially. After all, being disowned must have its influence on her life.

When he finally reach the goal, the first thing he notice was the smell of blood. Without a second thought, as a Gryffindor he is, automatically he took out his wand and go in. The scene he saw was horrifying. The little kid, sitting in the blood besides his ( probably corpse..) mother, in close proximity was a man, probably his father, with the knife in his chest. He didn’t have time to consider what might have happened here, didn’t hesitate a moment before sending patronus to ministry, Moody and Albus. He then took the child out, the child who barely even responded to being taken away and has eyes so dead and unmoving that if not for the moving chest, one would think he’s dead himself.

He didn’t look like Moody along with other aurors went in the building, he didn’t paid attention to Ministry’s people obliviating the muggles around the place, just focused on keeping in his hands this little, fragile life (?) who looked like in any moment it would perish. And then it hit him when the mediwitch took the boy from him to give him both calming and dreamless potion. He was afraid, afraid of what will happen to this poor child the moment he let him go. When she finally succeed, he took him back and waited until Albus come close to him. He was there too, he noticed for some reason way too late, along with the rest aurors. They managed to interpret most of what happened there. So he listened, to the shocking story of this tragedy, which had unfold here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for comment, it made me fluffy and happy, then I read once again Sev's memories from last book, got all angst and write this one :")


	3. Meeting the devil

Dumbledore as always didn’t disappointed me. Before Abraxas got the access to the child in private, he had not only a lot of paperwork’s. He must have predicted my interest in the case immediately, otherwise he wouldn’t prevent any try in getting to him with excuse of a need for ‘peace’ and ‘feeling safe’. If half of what Malfoy got for this case was true, there is no way that he will gain it any time soon. Excuse was quite a good for its purpose. Fortunately, Abraxas is on good ground with his grandparents, who was of course pleased to participate in a quest to ensure no more of our own would be so foolish as their daughter. Of course, despite not taking the boy in, using argument of their age, they have safely ensured to not have anything to do with ‘disgrace of Prince family’ to quote. Idiots, as if they have any heir, but the choice is theirs. With their blessing, the visit was granted. Eventually.

The boy was now at the St. Mungo, in the special, isolated room and have so far no other visitors, it seems. No one outside of mediwitches was ever around him. It was said that Fleamont Potter wanted to pay a visit, but ‘unfortunately’ his request was denied as he is no family. Idiots, all of them. They are making the job easier, it’s good that Ministry doesn’t share even 30% of Dumbledore’s cunning and wisdom or my plans would take many years more or worse, be impossible to realize in one lifetime. Now, let’s see the boy and how much this story will speed up the pace of the future. After signing a few documents, we were led to the boy’s room. Of course, we asked to enter alone ‘as more people might frighten the boy’. A few charming words and a smile was enough for mediwitch to allow this abnormality. Really, those humans are idiots.

And this is how we are here, in a room without the light for some reason, without anyone on the bed… For a moment I thought that those idiots can’t even manage to keep one 6 years old child in place. However, I felt a delicate movement from my right side. Right, then. I ordered Abraxas to stay still and slowly, with my most charming and warm smile I turned to the direction of the sound and lowered myself a little to see between the closer and the wall. There were two obsidian like eyes, full of fear and anxiety in there. In normal situation, at that moment I would be taking in his appearance, malnourished body, black, lightly greasy hair and the fact he is trying to blend with the wall. Instead, I felt the presence brushing my mind by eye contact and getting stopped by my occlumency’s barrier. The boy is natural at mind arts, just as I am… So instead of keeping my façade, taking boy away from there, getting information and leaving, I’m staring. Abraxas is calling my name, over and over, he’s not such an idiot to try to touch me, but he’s evidently worried and probably can’t understand.

But I do. This little boy, that half-blood son of Eileen Prince and muggle, might be extremely talented, extremely dangerous in the future. The mind arts alone makes it worth to keep him. What else can he do? What else would he be able to do? Would he be as strong as me in the future? Stronger? Weaker? Competent? This one for sure. The boy analyze me just as much as I him. He’s not an idiot and he’s 6 years old. Rare case, indeed. Probably so far, there was no one he didn’t feel anything from. Eileen was no occlumens. She was no one outside of her family. Average student, not that bad in potion, but not good enough to be called exceptional. She passed all, but didn’t excelled in any. And her son, hers and that muggle, has a talent which maybe only one or two people on generation possess, or even less. I can’t stop himself from laughing, it’s just way too comical how similar it is. And I hate this similarity.

At the same time I already like this little half-blood, whatever his name was. Now he’s no more a son of Prince in my mind, oh no, he earned to be remember by name. So now I’m finally waking from this little trance of mine, from the laughter which confused this child and Abraxas even more and without word getting out of the way. No way I can make him come to me by talking and smiling. He is Slytherin, clearly, now is time to bargain.

" Nice to meet you, kid. Do you want to do a trade with me? " Abraxas is looking at me like an idiot, so I ignore him " I bet no one told you anything about where you are, what’s going to happen and who we are, did they? " no answer come from the child, but he could see that he has more of his attention now, less of it contained fear, more curiosity. Good. "Let’s say, I will answer these question for you along with my friend over here, in exchange you will come out here and told us your name? What do you think? " The child seems to be contemplating it, Abraxas looks at me as if I’m completely insane, but just one glare is enough to silence him. He’s not needed yet.

After what seemed like at least 5 minutes, slowly, as if still hesitating, he is coming out from there. Not even for one second he takes his gaze from us. Great. He’s careful and suspicious. Like he should. I suppose it is one of the first time I had smiled genuinely in a long time, as the child relax only a little, as if seeing no forced emotion on me prove that I may be human in the end. I wonder about it, with all those horcruxes, am I still human? And he’s still wary, more of me than Abraxas – he can probably feel Malfoy’s lack of any bad or good intent toward himself, clever child.

"Now, as you have already come out from there, what about sitting on the bed, there is a lot of talking before us and you’re still recovering. You don’t have to worry, we won’t hurt you as at least 100 people know we are here with you. It would be foolish to try anything when the culpit would be clear, don’t you think? " after a minute or two the child nodded and gone over to his bed, still observing and moving from as far away from us as possible. After he sit down, I nodded at Abraxas and conjure two chairs. It got a lot of more reaction, it was probably the only positive emotion I saw in him so far. It looks like the kid adore magic. I can work with it. False smiles won’t do here, so I don’t smile. No point, won’t win us any points or trust, better to be blunt with him.

"How about you start by introducing yourself? "I think Malfoy only now understand my intention and reason for them – he saw too what I did, how this little brain before of us is working in Slytherin way. He’s wary now, trying to stay calm not to scary him and compose himself before the time for him will come. In the meanwhile…

"Severus Snape, sir. " blunt, short and define answer. He’s not used to talking to others. Either he works on it or he will have a hard time when he start attending Hogwart.

"Thomas Riddle, nice to make your acquaintance "now a quick look to my friend…

"Abraxas Malfoy, I hope we’re not disturbing you too much " well, now I know his name. Severus, huh?

"You are. "

"What? " the answer of our little nuisance got better of the great and powerful Lord Malfoy, now I wonder if even his son, Lucius, has ever talk to him like this any time in his childhood. He’s too shocked, I’m barely stopping myself from laughing aloud.

" We’re sorry to hear it, Severus, but I hope you get from this meeting enough to not regret it " I’m saving your face now, friend, remember "now as to what’s going to happen… Your grandparents, from your mother’s side, decline your guardianship, because of their old age. You don’t have any other family, so if no one comes forward to adopt you, which is quite unlikely as of both your circumstances and trauma and backgrounds, you will be relocate soon to orphanage. Right now, you are in hospital for witches and wizards like yourself to make sure you are stable and not a danger to yourself and others. Do you understand so far? " sharp nod was all he got. Those eyes of his were empty, clearly, dark obsidian, huh? Normally, he would except the child to ask for parents, cry, shout… but not this one, he understood. He might not have wanted to, but he did. All of it, he thought it would be the answer. Even so, someone observant would see, as a little spark of hope dies along with my words " We wanted to ask you about what had happened there. Of course, for every information we will pay you back. After all, it is supposed to be a deal, right? " this time I smile, as charming as possible, to show that I have some intention toward these information. I wonder, did you catch it or not? I won’t ask through, there would be no meaning then.

"No, don’t want anything from you, leave me alone " after these words he stands up as fast as he said them and hide again… Negotiation didn’t work then. We looked at each others, surprised, but I hide it as fast as possible and speak up again.

"Then we will leave for today and come some other day. Think over my offer, alright Severus? " without waiting for any sort of confirmation I direct myself to Abraxas "we’re going " he’s definitely puzzled now, but hold back his question, as it would be dangerous if someone were to eavesdrop on us. After being in safe zone, he asked clearly annoyed:

"Why didn’t you just legilimenced him? Didn’t you come for that purpose? And maybe what happened there at all? " ah, questions, questions, only more guestions.

" Clearly, my friend, didn’t you see how sensitive he was? How suspicious? How careful? He’s thinking of us as strangers now, enemy. He will talk when he feels marginally safe to make the deal with us " I’m saying in tone ‘as a matter of fact’. As if he didn’t know it.

"I’m asking about your behavior, not traumatized kid and the reason you didn’t just used legilemency as you proposed. "

"He’s natural. "

"What? " now he’s shocked and don’t understand words. Great, it’s so funny sometimes, but not now.

"He’s tried to legimitimize me the moment our eyes met, to check up my intention. That’s how I know, but… he’s way too quiet and calm, I think he may have some natural shield too. The problem is, if I try to enter now, he will know. As I said, he’s natural in mind arts as I am. It would be a pity to alienate the boy from us now, wouldn’t it? I suppose after next visit or another one, he will open up. And I can say one thing, from the way he was talking, that if he decided to tell us, he won’t lie. He will if we try to force him. But otherwise… well, no matter how suspicious and careful this 6 years is, he’s still a child who want to believe in adults. So we wait. " before Malfoy can answer, I end this little discussion with sum up

"It is worth a wait a little, don’t you think? "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it!  
> I do ^^


	4. Meeting of minds

Messy brown hair, brown eyes and once quite a handsome features which were more now showing his older age. In opposite to him sat even older looking wizard, with long, silver beard, blue twinkling eyes and colorful, not so tasteful, robes. Despite the smile and easy-going atmosphere, there was something heavier around him, as if the puzzle he was solving suddenly got so complicated, he had a hard time to decide the next move. Younger man decided to start their important- may-be difficult-but-needed-discussion.

  
"As always it is nice to see you, Albus, you know why I come here through, don’t you? " it was clear from this first words that he didn’t come here to beat around the bush as to say.

  
"Ah, well, of course, it is, Fleamont, but as to the reason of your visit, I suppose you can make it clear to old man what it is " he said it with a ‘grandparent’s smile’ he so often wore in front of his student. But Fleamont Potter was neither his student now or a child.

  
"Spinner’s End? Eileen Prince? Severus Snape? Does it tell you enough, Albus? Can you tell me how and why any try to obtain a visitation I ask for was denied and then it was not that much of a problem for Abraxas Malfoy of all people to get it? The only more comical choice would be if Walburga Black got the right to see him! " right now it was clear from the tone in his voice that he was angry. The more he talk, the more it was transformed into shouting… The figure in front of him remained silent all this time. It took a moment for Lord Potter to calm down and catch his breath.

  
"Pardon my outburst, but I don’t understand. Explain it to me why, when I asked for favours from few people, they told me the one who made it impossible for me to go to him was you " he was talking in much lower manners now, but the irritation and anger didn’t disappear from his voice.

  
" I’m sorry for inconvenience, Fleamont, but the only way to make the visit of unneeded party was to close it off completely. The Malfoys and the Princes were always on a good terms with them. They would get to the boy and took the details of what happened before any measures to minimalism damage were done. You know as good as I that it will be used in their campaign against both muggle and muggle-born wizards and witches. " the old wizard was trying to talk calmly and as neutrally as possible, but the inch of sadness was visible there.

  
" And what of the boy? " said Fleamont with the despair in his voice "He needs comfort, not isolation! He’s completely alone now, Albus… on his own after watching his father kills his mother and then them both bleeding to death. For three hours! Three hours he was sitting there, in the blood, crying. What of him? " he asked again, as if the wizard before him should have all the answers for it already.

  
" Nothing can be done at the moment. Healers need to make a statement about his mental health and overall condition. From what my sources tell me it looks like a long term abuse… " his face and tone has become considerable graver, partly angry, partly disguised as if such a thing happening couldn’t find its place in his conscious.

  
"Then shouldn’t he need anyone now? I know I’m no family, I’m aware we have little to no blood ties, but I took him out of there, I was keeping him in my arms at the worst day in his life like I am keeping James every day. I was talking with Euphy, she agreed that if no family decide to take the boy, we will take him in. The problem is, if I don’t talk to him, make him trust me, no one will let it happen, won’t they? " the barely contained fury and anger were now directed at the Headmaster of Hogwart himself. He has deeply sighed before answering.

  
" You’re right, they won’t let you. The argument will be the same as the one used by the boy’s grandparents, you’re too old to take care of a child. They will prevent it for both out of spite and appearance. After all, they need his tragic case to be even more tragic, no mercy for even an innocent child… " he trail off as in deep thoughts.

  
" I have son his age, don’t I? I may be more of auror than politic, but shouldn’t it put some good reason to Wizengamot to agree? If you were to back it up, then ..."

  
"Then they will do all possible for somebody else to take him instead. Can you imagine if for example Malfoy family were to take him in? Or Blacks? Oh, and don’t fool yourself, Fleamont, they will do it to spite both you, who they considered a blood traitor, and me, who they call muggle-lover. And then he will be no better than half elf there. Is it what you want for the boy? " there was some sense in what the headmaster was saying, but Potter couldn’t help, but felt being manipulated by this sense. He hated how much of true was covered there and how little could be done for the boy, all because of the politics. Even innocent child won’t be saved in this feud.

  
"But… Is there nothing we can do? If he goes to orphanage with these experience… Won’t he turned out like that student you are wary of? Tom Riddle? " when the question was asked, the eyes of the old wizard become even more hollowed. As if the old injury, old question unanswered was opened by force with it. It was unnerving to observe to greatest wizard of our times so lost, so worried.

  
" So you heard Tom is back? " Fleamont wasn’t sure if it was asked out of worry or to change the topic. Dumbledore was definitely taking the possibility into account. He decided to go along for now and asked again later.

  
"Yes, of course, many pureblood families are talking about it, especially with his ties and friendship with The Malfoys, Blacks, Avery’s, Mulcibers, Rosiers. Through rarely anyone tells any details about what he is doing now or what he did in his journey. It can’t be arqued that the wizard world noticed his return and many people want him to go to Ministry or even become the Minister of Magic. It is unnerving, but not the immediate danger. I know you think he’s dangerous, but… " he didn’t know what else to add. Outside of his good studies results, few connection and talent not much was known about Tom Riddle.

"Fleamont, if I tell you I believe him to be dangerous enough to start the war and destroy the Britain, would you believe me? " he asked and shocked his quest with it

.  
"A war? Isn’t it a little too soon to make such a assumption? " ‘surely he’s not that dangerous…’ was the thought inside his mind.

  
" My every instinct and observation is telling me this, my old friend. No evidence, not even toward the case from 1945… "

  
"The one with dead girl, you mean? "

  
" Yes, Acrumantula does not kill the way the poor girl was. I believe that Hagrid is not responsible for her death, only for recklessness and bringing in dangerous creature. "

"So that’s why you hired him?

  
"Yes, he was unfairly expelled and the chance for education and better life was taken away from him. I want to at least make it up to him a little, after all I have no evidence to help him even if I know he’s not a killer "

  
"Well, then it explains your choice about hiring him, but not about orphanage. Albus, the boy, Severus, he need the chance for better life. We’re adults, it is our responsibility to help him. What his case, outside of political appeal, had with Tom Riddle? With the war you’re predicting? " it looked like the Lord Potter wasn’t going to give up on his own questions. The older wizard was silent for a few minutes before answering:

  
" Not only Abraxas Malfoy visited the boy 3 days ago, my dear friend " it looked as if understanding has dawn on his quest as Dumbledore go on "Tom was there as well. Moreover, next day there is no new information about that event. You know what I mean? " Fleamont Potter carefully nodded " Whatever it is that Tom want from the boy, he’s going slowly, not fast as he would with weak and unimportant person. If he knows anything, he didn’t use it yet. If he don’t… then why didn’t he use legilemency on the boy? He would have no qualms about doing it, this I am sure of. Whatever he wants, we need to be careful. This may be way deeper than you want to think about, dear friend. For our mistakes will pay not only the boy, but also the wizarding world. "

After this answer, both were silent until Fleamont Potter stand up, politely bid him a farewell and have gone home. He had a lot of things to do and many more to research. He decided not to give up, after all he saw it, endless despair in his eyes. The boy, Severus, needed his help, need love and care. There must be a way to adopt the boy, to take him from there, to help him heal and avoid the cruel fate of growing up unloved. He has suffered enough in his young life already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it is quite alright so far. If there is some complain, feel free to tell me ^^


	5. Strange man who should not be named

It is strange. _He is strange_. Not only he’s empty, most of the time he’s more of a false when talking to Miss Roberta, whenever he comes. And what’s even stranger is that _he comes_. Often. After that first time, he has come already five times… No one has ever come to visit me willingly even once in my life. I know he want to know what happened with ma and da… But for some reason whenever he’s coming, instead of trying to get me to talk, he does the talking. Worse. He talks about magic. I don’t want to tune this down. I can’t not be happy when he talks about it. I try. But it does not work. At first I decided not to look or come closer to him no matter what, but… He was drawing something while talking about a spell, wingardium leviosa or so. It can makes things fly! I wanted to see what he draw… so I come closer. And I had to come even closer cause he has put the paper in a way that I couldn’t see until I sit next to him!! I knew it is trap. I knew it is stupid to follow. I knew it and still did come cause I wanted to see… Ma would be disappointed… And from that point on I did always sit next to him. No idea why, I just want to.

He show me with his wand how to cast that spell too! And he talked a lot about Hogwart! Hogwart – the school for frea- nope, not, this word is bad, Mr Riddle said so, we’re not freaks, da was wrong, he is sometimes, after all he killed ma… Don’t think about it!

Let it go… let it go… Inhale.. Exhale.

Throw it away…

Better.

Uff, anyway there is a school and there will be many children there! There are 4 houses, Mr Riddle write their names for me in the notebook as I had a hard time pronouncing it. A moment, I will find it…. Yes, it is this! There is cunning and ambitions Slytherin, wise Ravenclaw, hard working and friendly Hufflepuff and brave and reckless Gryffindor! It is in my first present ever, the notebook! And colorful pens! I didn’t want to accept it but he said I need it to take notes. It was a loan ( without returning he said but the price will be using it) . Mister said that both he and Ma was in Slytherin, so I decided Iwill be in Slytherin too! He only chuckled at that.

*huff*

It’s not funny at all! Anyway, I’m still afraid of him a little, cause he’s empty . Nothing like ma or da or his blond friend or doctors. Magic doctors and nurses that is. They are afraid of me, says when they think I am asleep that I am more dead than alive. But I am alive. I am!! I think so… I ask Mr Riddle and he said that I am indeed alive. It made me feel better as I need to live to be happy one day. To be honest, I like it, this silence from Mr Riddle. Even if this frightens me not to know, it is nice to feel normal. I ask one doctors and he said people can’t perceive emotion of others. This means normally I’m not normal.

But Mr Riddle said he can do it too, but it is a secret and I can’t tell anyone. He said not to tell anyone about myself as well. I wouldn’t anyway, I don’t trust them. Neither they feel bad for me or are afraid or not care about me. Only ma did. But she’s gone. Magic doctor said that I will be out of here soon, but never anything define. Then I’m going to orphanage. I wonder, would be it worse than home? How do they punish for being bad child? Do they use fist and belts like da? Or are yelling like ma? Can I learn to be good enough not to get them? But I am ashamed and scared to ask them. After all, if I wasn’t good enough for my ma and da, why would I be for them? It would tell them earlier that I’m bad and naughty and need to be punished. I want to put it off as long as possible. And I don’t want to ask Mr Riddle, I can’t trust him with that yet cause he’s empty. I won’t know if he want to hurt me, so I won’t prepare for it. So I will wait until answers comes to me.

Today, Mr Riddle won’t come. He said so yesterday. He has works to do as he is a grown up and need to work. Like da did. But he don’t drink funny drinks like da did, so maybe his work is easier? I didn’t ask, cause one personal question for one personal question, our deal said, so no personal question was asked so far. I don’t want to answer his, so I can’t obviously ask. Simple, right?

Someone else come, through he didn’t enter. Just looked by the door and gone off to talk to magic nurse. He has white beard and looks the same as the Mister on card from Mr Riddle. He’s called Albus Dumdore or sth similar. He’s a great wizard, the card says! He beat some other great wizard and got famous. And some research or so. Mister don’t like him for some reason. And… he’s empty too… another empty person. Another unknown… I wanted to hide but if I hide between closet and wall again, they will notice and ask question why. So I went under my blanket and wait until he’s gone. I will know when I can come out, the emptiness would disappear then along with him, as it does with Mister Riddle. I just had to wait a little.

At another location, the said Mister was having a tea with Lord Malfoy and his 10 years old son, Lucius Malfoy. The kid looks nervous, as having simple tea along with his parent is a dangerous and possible suicidal mission. In some way it was.

"So, Tom, today you don’t play with the kid? " ask a little teasingly Abraxas, being careful not to push unnecessary button of his friend. It would be dangerous.

"Oh, no, my sources were telling that our mutual friend, Albus Dumbledore himself, is going to be there today, no need to make him want to meet the boy by confronting me, would we? " he reply in mocking tone.

"You mean, he won’t ? Even when you saw him so many times already? You said it yourself how suspicious he is of you " after this he took the teacup in the hand and elegantly, with all pureblood etiquette in place, drink. One would think that drinking tea is an art for them.

"He is aware of me and he is afraid of boy. That’s why I have gone there every single day, Abraxas, he’s too suspicious to see him himself. The boys is too similar to me in background, he’s afraid that he will judge him already or worse, attack him while remembering how he didn’t do something with me before it got out of hand. He can’t be ** _fair_** or **_honestly_ _nice_** to him, he’s **_incapable_** of dividing his image with mine at this point. After all, the boy has already killed his _worthless father_. "

"He did? He told you? " asked surprised blond man.

" I asked once about him, his reaction told me the rest, that little mask of his is disappearing when he see magic and is excited, talks about books or is remembering something especially painful. For a moment I could see it, the way accidental magic push that trash away from Severus. If the muggle didn’t try to kill his son with the knife, he wouldn’t die. But parallels are enough for Dumbledore. Enough not to treat the boy as he should and he will pay the price one day. "

"So he is talented? "

"Talented? Definitely. He has already starting showing understanding before the theory of a spell, simple first year spell it was, it _sink in_. He could be putting a front like they do normally, I thought for a moment about it, but dismissed it. He asked me a few logical question about it. Question, which in order to asked, you needed grasp at least a part of it, not just copy the move or say the word. It took me 5 days to explain it properly without attracting attention or overworking him, but he has now an idea how and why the wingardium leviosa works. To grasp it, for the 11 years old is great. But he’s six. I can tell, he has natural understanding for spells. The quality for a person capable of creating his own. And this, maybe not as rare as being natural at mind arts, is still extremely rare and valuable gift. "

"Even more like you he is, you mean? " asked not entirely sure if he should Malfoy.

"Yes, but even now I can tell, his magic is and will be weaker than mine, he has less control than I did in his age, but he’s still probably the most talented child with the greatest potential I encountered outside of myself and of course Albus Dumbledore… "

"Now, I’m glad we have gone there. By myself I would let it pass, because of his, huh, background. "

"Understandable, we would notice him at Hogwart then, but the chances of him going over to the other side would be higher by then. "

"Despite the abuse? "

"Yes, despite it. He might have hated muggles, but the boy… He cares, Abraxas. A lot more than you do, not to mention me. He long for feelings, desire them. He’s aware of their existence, but has trouble finding them in himself, but he is still searching. The after effects of occluding from too young age, I would say. "

"Won’t that mean that he is more of danger than advantage then? " after hearing the words, Tom Riddle burst in laughter.

"Dear friend, you don’t get what I said. I am fond of him, you know? And it was enough for the boy to _start to listen_ _to me_! He will be Slytherin, no doubt with his suspicious nature and the want to prove himself, and so the Gryffindors? They _won’t leave him_ alone, because he, with his talent, would be a **danger**. He does not possess any natural skills to charms others or in talking. He’s not good looking and he’s always suspicious. He can, but won’t mask it, he only does it to fear which he is ashamed of. They will be scared of him, hateful, denying him, his talent and existence as it is a danger to them. Teacher will, _unconsciously_ , always ally themselves with _handsome, outgoing Gryffindors_ over _ugly, suspicious Slytherin_. And Slytherins, they will **_accept_** him, but won’t help him cause of his _background and blood status_ , that is sure. But that acceptance would be more than all he would get from the rest of school, along with Albus Dumbledore, the leader of 'Light' himself. In the end, the chance of him not coming here are less than 20%. Of course, I will make sure it is not even that. "

All this was told along with the cruel smirk of his. Abraxas Malfoy was astonished. The way his friend has just predicted the possible future of the one so young… The worst is it looks quite accurate. He couldn’t help, but agree once again that the man before him is a genius in every way possible. Also, he felt sorry for the boy. If he were less talented, his life would be better. Now, he’s inside this game led by Lord Voldemort and he can’t do anything to escape. He’s not jealous of the attention his friend is giving the boy. Opposite, he can only pray his son never becomes so interesting to him.

At the same time, while listening to the talking of the adults, young Lucius Malfoy was curious. He wished to meet that person who got recognition for his natural skills from both his father and _his friend_. Parents of all his acquaintance have respected _that friend_. If they all do it and follows _him_ , like them were supposed to in the future, then these praise and attention of _the man_ must mean something about that ‘Snape boy’, especially that he was a half-blood… The first chance he had, he must meet the kid. And he will teach him too, how to properly behave. After all, Father acknowledges his existence, then he had to know how behave when he goes to Hogwart, otherwise he would ashame his Father. And he won’t allow it. Besides it would be like having a younger brother and he always wanted one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought ' to hell with waiting, I had two more chapters finished, I will post them! '  
> so here we are ^^


	6. Thank you for being alive

I asked many people. Most just tried to advise me against taking In the possibile troublesome Little half-blood child with such a history. I found them disgusted, selfish and couldn’t stand staying a moment longer in their presence. Fortunately, I stopped myself from hexing them, it would make the chance of taking in Severus non-existing. The others suggested trying with normal adoption or rather guardianship after the incident of Eileen Prince ( press didn’t use her new surname, trying to emphasize that she is a pureblood witch) calm down a little and stopped causing so much trouble within our world. And they don’t even know WHO killed her… It will be years after this information is out before it die out and pass on. He don’t have this much time. It is the last resort option. Other than that only a open fight is left.

None the less, I left the suggestion of me taking care of the boy until anyone can took him in permanently on the minister table. I hope the ministry is open to the idea, possible even bribe if I had to. I hate such methods, but… what else have I left if Albus is adamant about not taking part in this? Wizard word is important, but making ones’ life better not always had negative impact on it. There is something deeper in his refusal. Whatever it is through, I have neither time nor want to investigate. He will come around after I successfully help Severus. Eventually he will forgot our little disagreement. If war is really coming, we shouldn’t give up on future generation. They are our future!

Finally I got permission to see the boy. Healer, who is also my old friend, confirmed stability of young Mister Snape and allowed visitors as long as they won’t upset the patient. ‘I am not going to do it, so it is fine’ he said. I hope he is better. He said he’s not skipping meals too much, still barely talking, but answer from time to time, takes his potion regularly and have only better results of scan. By better, he said horrible, but from the abuse he experience… He said he has high hopes for full recovery soon, at least as long as we talk about body. He will need a proper mind healer through. When I have time, I will try to organize something.

Of course, before entering I am warned about regulation, had to sign some documents and the mediwitch is taking me to him. Just before I enter, she warns me about another visitor. For a moment I was sure she means Albus. Hope that he changed his mind lit up. Upon entering I’m feeling disappointment. There, next to the kid I want to save, sit the man Albus is suspicious about as dangerous.

Tom Riddle, the most talented student Hogwart ever had… is reading a child tale to the kid with lit up eyes, so much brighter than the despaired one I saw last time. He’s not flinching too much, he’s not looking away, he’s listening with enthusiasm and little shy smile on his face… This is the first time in my life I think that maybe Albus was wrong about him.

Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, it disappear as fast as it come. Upon noticing me, his eyes got so cold for a moment, I was not sure if he won’t Avada Kedavra'ed me immediately. The coldness, the want for my blood, the blood of person who interferes with him, the deep, unsettling feeling of fear in my own conscious… It takes him moment, less than a second to hide it all. If I wasn’t auror with a long standing and experience, I wouldn’t see it. If I didn’t know basic of occlumency, I would take out my wand and attack him first. Every fiber of my body was on guard. It passed, as fast as he relaxed, but I remembered it. Until the end of my life…

Only the reaction of a boy, suddenly flinch and his trying to hide push me away from my thoughts. I remembered now, the scared child… This man must have come here often already if Severus is so calm around him… I have to be focused, I came here for the child after all, not to check out the future enemy. I look carefully at him.

And I smile.

Not cause it would make him believe me.

Not cause it is polite or demanded.

I smile because he’s so much more alive even in his fear toward me than what he was back then.

My eyes are full of tears and I understand how scared of the possibility that I was about to see an empty shell.

Without coming closer, not to him, nor to the men, I’m saying to myself.

"Thank you for being alive, Severus. "

The kid, who was so scared of me for a moment looks at me once again. There is first confusion and then a knowing look in his eyes. And instead of hiding he’s coming closer to me. Slowly, with care as if being ready to disappear any moment, he’s closing in. No one says anything. No one else is moving. Suddenly, kid is stopping in his movement. He’s silent for the moment as if in thoughts. Then….

"Thank you for helping me, Mister " he says carefully, as not to insult me. I’m looking shocked, I’m sure, how come he remember it while I barely does so? I, an adult, who should already see most of this world cruelty?

"and thank you for caring. I didn’t know anyone did so, outside of maybe Mister Riddle " and here I’m crying. Not just a few tears, no, I think I’m crying like a child, like he should, as to compensate for the lack of his tears. He let me hug himself and I’m still crying, muttering thanks that he’s better. Thanks that his eyes have warm in them. Thanks that he’s letting me come closer. I have no idea how long I do so. It takes a lot from me to calm down. Finally after clearing away the last of my tears, I says:

"I’m sorry for breaking down like this, I didn’t hurt you? " now I’m checking him out, afraid I hugged him too tightly, but he only smiles shy and is turning his head to the man on his bed.

Oh.

He was here too.

I forgot about him completely.

"Mister Riddle, this is the Mister who took me away after accident. He’s a warm person " I have no idea what he means, but I still smile. The smile Tom is putting on is false through and Severus see it. Before he can ask, Riddle answer it for him: " Don’t worry, I’m just a little jealous I don’t have you for myself anymore today, that’s it. I will leave you two then, have fun, Severus " this time the smile is more real, but I’m wary. That impression from before is still there, buried among many others.

"Nice to meet you. My names is Fleamont Potter. " I take out my hand to shake his in gesture of welcoming. There is no reason to not be polite.

"Thomas Riddle. I’m leaving Severus in your capable hands then. " now he’s turning his head toward kid "See you soon again, Severus. "

With this he’s out of the room in the blink of the eye, but I could feel it none the less. He was **_angry_**. At _me_. At _interruption_. At _this meeting_. At _Severus’s reaction_. So angry, he couldn’t **hide it all** , so he left. He didn’t let me have time with Severus. He **fled** so he wouldn’t scared him. I think Severus didn’t notice it. Of course he’s a child, I barely did despite many years of fighting and war. Anyway it is unnerving. I had to talk properly with Albus. We have to do something while we can. But now is not a time. So instead I’m paying attention to Severus. He needs it more than the war, which is not here yet.

"Well, let’s start properly. Nice to finally see you again, Severus. My name is Fleamont Potter. I’m sorry for being so late, they were worried I would smuggle too much sweets and didn’t let me in earlier " I said partly as a joke, partly as a way to explain being here so late. I think he knows it, my half truth, but let it be. Isn’t he clever?

"Severus Snape, sir. " he answer immediately and add "how am I suppose to call you? Mr Riddle told me to call him whatever I want, but calling him a given name is too personal yet. Can I just say sir? I don’t like you surname much, I’m sorry. Riddle is like quiz and I like quizzes. Do you like quizzes? " hearing him like that makes me happy that even this little insult to my family name is not painful or in any way uncomfortable to me. He's just a child after all. But… 

"Well, you can call me sir if you’re comfortable. You can use my name if you want to. You can call me Uncle as well if it is acceptable. It is worth to remember not to say such a thing about somebody surname as it is rude " understanding coming through his eyes and he nods almost immediately "I like a good quiz, but I prefer flying and Quidditch. Have you ever heard of it? " – seeming the kid’s eyes getting wider I decided to continue "Wizard and witches can fly on a broom and this is our wizarding football! I have a few brooms back in my home. I can bring you smaller one next time so you can see for yourself " his eyes got even wider, as if he can't believe that someone would do it for him, it makes me feel sad and disappointed with this world where kids can be hurt like that...

" I have a son your age, you know? "

"Really? "– now he’s curious, for some reason I think this piece of information matters more to him than broom by thousands .

"Really, when you will be allowed out, I will make sure, you two can properly meet. I’m sure he will be happy to have someone else to play with "– now he got sad… what? Why? Did I say something…

" Is everything alright? " – I can’t hide my concern from my voice. Something is wrong.

"Will.. "– he’s stopping for a moment, hesitating. I’m waiting patiently, as long as it takes. He’s not James, he won’t shout to the whole world that he’s knee is scrapped – Will he want to play with me? – now there is hope in his eyes. How many times was he shut down or denied in the muggle world to think no one would want to play with him?

" I’m sure he will. He would be angry with me if I did find someone to play with and didn’t tell him. And then he would get back at me for monopolizing your time and this I don’t want "– and I know it is true for another reason. He will still monopolize it, cause he has infinitely amount of energy and ideas for mischief and need a associate in them. It would do good for Severus to get to know someone his age. I will bring it up with his healer…

Severus smiles again and start to talk about the story Mr Riddle read him about and start asking question about Hogwart, flying and if I know where he can get some books. Apparently he can read a little already, is bored and want to practice when he’s alone. Mr Riddle left him some (many) books with tales, but soon he will run out of them and will have to re-read! He was so bewildered that such a possibility exist when there are so many books in this world that he was contemplating running away to the library. That is after he work out how the lock is working, cause it must be magic. He took out muggle one already. I’m starting to laugh, of course, it is funny.

I make sure that he understand that I will ‘lent’ him books ( apparently giving is not an option ) , he does not need to run away. By the time I had to go, I take out many things. A few better quality cloths, sweets, some colorful pens and notebook ( initially to draw, but Severus can already write a little ) . He refused saying he already got pens and notebook from Mr Riddle and has cloths. In the end I bargain that he accept cloths ( half of them as all would be too much, he said ) and sweets in exchange of doing a homework I gave him in the notes from me, so I can properly check it as checking the homework if notebook from someone else is rude. Thank Merlin he believed this one. Pens I had to take back unfortunately. Sweets stays because any good host has them ( Thank Merlin again for small mercies, this kid hates being given, but accept reasons ). With the last goodbye I’m being shoved out by the healer who come to do some test. Not my friend, unfortunately as then he might let me stay a little longer. I’m feeling both a victor and a loser now. He accepted me, but I could tell, that the opinion of Riddle is important to him. More so than mine or _his own_. The faster I help him, the better. It is dangerous, for him and for me, but I wouldn’t be a Potter if I gave up on someone who need help.

Especially if it is a child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personally, so far I like this chapter the most ^^ Enjoy, people, like I did writing it <3


	7. Jealousy is a bad adviser

I will kill him!

How dare he?

HOW!?

Thinking he can just come in like that, start crying and win Severus over? Some few words should be enough to get this child affection, when I needed so long to make him trust me?? But I know deep down why. The occlumency shield… For him I’m unknown, unpredictable, dangerous. He can’t be sure of my intention.

And I can’t let him. He called Potter warm… cause he could feel his genuinely feelings… his real happiness that he is fine. I can’t say I’m not, but there are many, so much more cold, negative and possessive thoughts in my mind, I’m sure of it, that would scare the boy way more than my being empty.

He learned to trust me without feeling me out. It should be enough for now. It is a great step forward. I know it, but I can’t stopped being angry, being infuriated, being jealous. He let the considerable new person touch him, when I didn’t until our third seeing each others. He talked to him without a lot of encouragement and without any deal.

But he flinched more than from me too.

And the first thing was to look at me and told me that Potter helped him…

Small victories one would say.

But I do not get small ones!

Only ultimate wherever I’m fighting.

.

..

..

He will pay, Fleamont Potter will pay for it.

...

..

.

By the time I’m relatively calm, I have already arrived to the manor, whose destiny is ‘obtaining information’. Some not so important people, who have a knowledge, but are not on Ministry’s radar are brought here, not too often, just only so-so and properly investigate. After the ‘business’ is done, they are the main attraction for people needed it. Brilliant today is such a day, isn’t it? I definitely need it now. Maybe I will transfigurate his face to look like Potter? It would cheer me up for sure. Some good sport is always in place.

Before I could get down there, Abraxas stops me and immediately fall back. I suppose my face is saying enough about my mood.

"Tom, my Lord, please, calm down, they are still getting the information out. If you were to go now, you would made him insane beyond the point of legilemency giving you anything " he takes a deep breath as to even it and collected himself. All of it while I am glaring at him. Tough luck, friend, I’m not in mood

"Orion is over, having tea at the study, why won’t we go there and get to the bottom of whatever it is you want to get frustration out on? " great gamble, but… yea, you’re right, I can’t let that Potter destroy even more of my plans, can I?

" Fine, let’s have a productive conversation until they get out of him all we need to know. Shall we? " I don’t need to look at or use legilemency on Malfoy to know how malicious and creepy and dangerous is my smile now. He’s good at hiding emotion most of the time, politic after all, but not that good.

We’re moving over to the private room containing many priceless book, which should not ever be found in the main house, any main house, its possession would not only damage the reputation, but may even end up in staying in Azkaban. Quite impressive collection as always, I would say. Through I do possess a few of my own who you can’t find even here. But their topics are the thing I would think twice about showing even to Abraxas after all. Some another good thing out of my journey, I suppose.

I’m sitting down on the armchair next to the window, while Abraxas is closer to Orion. No wonder, only fool would try to be closer to me at the moment and neither of them is one. Taking in my hand a tea, I’m starting to enjoy it only after making sure there is no poison. One is never too careful. After taking a little in and putting aside a cup, I’m waiting for question. They will come after all.

" So, can you tell us what happened to make you want to destroy our information sources before if lost its uses? " Abraxas is asking me carefully and now he had the full attention and little shocked expression of Orion. I’m not saying anything yet. I’m too angry and talking about it is a bad idea. Very bad idea. I think Abraxas quess who the dilemma is about as he signed deeply.

" Is it about your young half-blood friend? "

"The one with natural talent of Legilemency, Occlumency and possible spell crafting? " as always Orion had to made sure, he still has trouble believing the child exist in fact.

"Yes, Severus. I was visiting him today " I said as a matter-of-fact. No need to mention visiting him day before yesterday and the other visits. They do not matter in this discussion at all.

"Well, you were visiting a 6 years old, did he hug you one too many times " said the Black, who barely integrates with his own 6 and 5 years old sons. Ha! But the remark was enough to remind me of the hug I witnessed and anger flared out again.

" If you want to know, Severus would never ask for hug, he think that they mean you’re either a good boy or you’re going to be severe punished and need something to make it through. I suppose the first idea is from, ah, the story he heard from that Bob neighbor of his? From that Muggle town to be precise. I don’t think he ever encounter the first type of ‘his hugs’ if you ask me " I said it as such a conclusion is something any six years old should come to, which I know is a false statement. Even Orion seems disgusted by the idea, it seems.

"No one should even allow the muggle to brought up magical child, even half-blood. I can never understand why Eileen not only marry one, but didn’t clear her eyes later on. Any work in our world would make her life better than staying there. Not that her parents would forgive her with a child, but if she denied the muggle, they would make sure she wouldn’t starve at the very least. Imagine, you see. That’s why our cause need to advance, the muggle-lovers like Dumbledore will never understand the danger " good move, Black, good move.

"Definitely. That’s why we’re going with it, don’t we, Tom? "

"Yes, yes. That’s why I’m not down there ripping his throat out, aren’t I? " saying it along with a smile, huh, have a nice effect, they both looks a little amused by the contrast. Must be my expression calmed down a little.

"Let’s start from the beginning, what happened with Severus to make you want to kill our information? "

"He had another visitor, it seems " my tone is low and dangerous "Lord Potter decided to visit a child, you see? Without Dumbledore support at that " here is a mocking smile, the reminder of the trouble in opposite camp can always lift my spirit, even now "I wonder, why no one said that he was the one to take the boy out of the house, while he was sitting there along with parents corpse. Worse, Severus remembers it. "

"Even with that all going all? " Orion seems bewildered, as if such a thing should not happens. After all, 3 hours in the blood bath the house was? But..

" He’s partly occluding all the time, Orion, whatever pain or despair any normal child would feel, he put a lion share of it behind the walls and try to understand the situation, or rather what to do. But there is only so much one can hide in his mind and stay himself, he was deep enough into his mind that he looked dead for outsider. Even without occluding so much, instinctively more so, he shows not much natural enthusiasm. Your Regulus is cheerful kid in comparison " it hit the house then as the Lord of Black house didn’t add anything else.

" So he knows he saved him? " Abraxas and details, what a surprise, indeed.

"Yes, but this is not a problem. 6 words! And few tears was enough for the boy to let him hug him! 6! I know that genuinely of his words and honest meaning had a part, I know it, he can feel it, but.. it complicates all! He got his acceptance easily, didn’t run from him as he did from us, listen to him as well! In the way it goes, I would have to kill him to make sure he won’t be a bother in the future, but.. " I trail for a moment, hesitation clear, I’m getting old "I don’t want to do it. I want to have him on my side, see his way in improving in magic, see the future before him. Not to kill such a potential. I don’t want it at all. "

There is silence for a few moments before Abraxas decided to take initiative.

"If I understand properly, because of his help earlier and no skill in occluding, Potter got his trust faster than you and now you’re angry and wary of the consequences? " I bet he wanted to say afraid, but has more brain to not do so.

"Yes, I think so " Orion and Abraxas seemed to come to the same conclusion as they were looking at me funny.

" I’m sorry, my Lord to say so " oh no, it’s going to be quite insulting if he start with soothing me "but he believed in you and decided to trust you despite not knowing your emotion, yes? " I nod, it’s true after all "Then he trusted someone who he knows won’t hurt him " I nod again "then it is no trust, my lord, it’s knowledge. He don’t trust Potter, not like he does you, he knows from experience and his latent ability. Knowing and trusting are two different things, my lord, as long as you don’t push him away, at the moment I’m sure he would chose you " I think I’m gaping at them. I knew it. I thought about it, but didn’t acknowledge as in other scenarios it would made me…

"you have just started to monopole the boys feeling as no one else tried to get to close to him. And now you simple feel… endanger " better word than jealous, surely.

"Fine, you’re right, I overreacted. " admission of faults hurt.

" You didn’t show it to the boy, do you? " quiet question from Abraxas is bringing me back to the discussion, but something is wrong. As if Abraxas thought there is something else which could made me so angry. He knows something I don’t.

"Of course not, I politely say goodbye and left. If he felt anything, he ignored it. Nothing shown on his face then. "

"The boy, who is guiding himself through life by observing ignores your silent outburst? He really trust you, my friend " I’m contemplating it and in the end nod, they are right. This time.

"Then, pray tell me Abraxas, what you thought that would make me angry? You was expecting something else, didn’t you? "

"I… Tom, my lord, drink a little more of a tea, there is a need to calm yourself now, while entering you scared the house elf and destroyed 2 wards… "< /p>

Oh.

I was quite angry, wasn’t I?

So I take another sip of a tea, while they are discussing the politics shift that is now happening. We’re making sure to put our people at as many place as possible after all. I think after 15 minutes, I’m more or less on normal level of destruction. Whatever Abraxas has to tell to me can’t be worse than what I felt today. So I start.

"There is no need to ignore the problem, so tell me what it is? Did we lose more places than we have predicted? Our plans were put off on years? Dumbledore become the Minister? " last one is mocking, but Abraxas pales. He wasn’t so pale before. Not even while confronting me at the entrance…

Before he can answer, Lestrange come behind us and tells us all the information, plus few extras, were obtained. I tells him to wait, that I will decide what to do with him later. Maybe I will just obliviate him and dump somewhere? He’s sitting next to me, with both Black and Malfoy looking at him as if he was suicidal… but why? So I urge Abraxas by hand move to tell me what it is.

"There was a suggestion about the placement of young Mister Snape " my vision is darkening and strange feeling of uneasiness come at me.

"Surely, they chose which orphanage to put him in then? " I try to crush the rising anxiety, but can’t. Not with Abraxas looking visible even paler.

"No, there was suggestion that he will be placed under the care of Fleamont Potter until he were, if he were, to be adopted which is … " he don’t finish the sentence, I’m slowly standing and I can’t stop my fury.

"And? " he better finish it up.

"The Minister is considering it, thought I made sure to propose my own house as a possible placement, of course, but it seems like Dumbledore decided to back up Potter in the end… "

I’m not listening further, there is no need to.

"Make sure he won’t successes, think about the way, I will come back in the moment "

I said moment, but it won’t be until five hours later.

Poor man, he might have been spared, but now instead he had 5 hours of constant crucio behind him.

Really, pity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm proud if this one as well ^^  
> Enjoy <3


	8. Important talks as if they made some arrangement for it to happen at similar time

Abraxas' POV

I knew that he’s going to react badly, after all he has already started investing in the boy. But the outcome was even worse. Maybe I did underestimate the potential the boy has. Many things could be told about Tom, but he does not pick anything useless. If he is as far as fond of the boy, already has a sentiment toward him and can feel jealousy about him… We have no other choice, his possessive need of that half-blood had to be met if we are to proceed with the plans. Moreover, if half of what Tom think of him is true… Which I’m sure is, he never exaggerate power and skills, at worst underestimate for public performance ( Dumbledore), but never to himself. Never while planning. Then we can assume it is worth to put an efforts with the boy. I can see Orion, despite Blacks having even more stricter views on blood purity, agrees with me. So we wait until Lestrange is out. He and planning is the chaos and a sure failure. And he will go to observe Tom ‘calming himself’. Good that the prisoner is mudblood. No waste this way. Still, I should say the man had a bad luck indeed. Out of 10, at least 4 are oblivated instead of torture to death. Pity.

It took another tea for Lestrange to get a clue. Option are two: he has no idea ( which is true ) what happened and think we will share, complete idiot, or is afraid to go down now in case Tom will mistake him for prisoner ( which has high chance at the moment, screams were actually getting louder until completely disappeared, not that it means it stopped, just he remembered to put silencing charm on the room).

Finally we are alone, with our worries. Orion was so gracious as to start, that I was thankful for at a moment. I was afraid for my life enough times today…

"So, Tom found himself another pet then? Not only this gigantic, once human, snake? "

"I believe her name is Nagini " I remind him "better remember to call her that or you will get interesting lecture about her like Mulciber did in par with a test, which failing you don’t want to witness " some warning better than nothing I suppose. Better if Crabble did that mistake, less damage as less brain to lose, but… we can’t have all, do we?

"Yes, yes, poisonous Nagini " he smiles sweetly "impressive pet and worthy of descendant of Slytherin. But the other one? Have you ever meet him? "

"First time we have gone there, the kid is blunt, rude, suspicious and won’t talk to you for no reason " but wait, there was a reason, right? " actually, quite like the real Slytherin, I would say, he only come out and talk to us when we offered him information. But the next deal, containing something he didn’t desire, money I believe, was refused immediately. He’s smart and suspicious, that one. "

"And the claim around legilemency? Has any solid grounds? " while hearing it, I smirk.

"Silly question, really, the moment Tom understand the talent he possess, he froze and was staring at him for 5 minutes straight! " this information seemed to shocks a little Black, well, if he doubted Tom’s words because of his little affection, he knows I have none toward the boy, at least not yet "After that he didn’t try to pressure the boy, he was analyzing him, six years old child, the same way he would you or me. The moment the kid looked into my eyes… " some break is needed, this mind’s feeling always makes me uncomfortable " I felt it, not immediately and not that strong or on purpose as Tom always did, but I can’t deny it. It was more of a instinct. Boy got to the outer space of my mind, read my emotion and know immediately I’m not a danger. From that moment on, he ignored me mostly, paying practically all of his attention to Tom. "

Another wave of silence while both of us were contemplating this little fact. How came the son of that Eileen, that Eileen, is so talented?

" If it’s really true, wouldn’t they already notice it? Surely Dumbledore would, he’s not that far away from Tom’s level in legilemency " not that any of them would say so when Tom is here…

"Tom said he has never visited the boy. "

"Never? Not even once? " now , now, Orion Black can’t hide his shock, must feel disappointed with Dumbledore.

" Yes, Tom thinks it’s because of the parallels between him and the boy, he can’t get over them and do the right thing. Cheers for old muggle-lover fool! " I toast in mocking attitude, after all for him, our tradition are not important. He don’t see the damage already done to it. We have to take action now or soon, there will be nothing left of it.

" So Potter want to steal his pet then? " finally, the matter for discussion, we need to find some solution to this problem. And soon.

"Yes, it definitely seems that way. Apparently, he was so shaken after taking the boy away from there that he barely gave him over to medi-witch in order to give him a potion and snatched him back right away! I should have told Tom about it, but I get to know about it while digging for the reason for his, uh, proposition " hint of worry I couldn’t crush. It’s not a merry situation.

" What about sharing a real story then? Not from usual source so he won’t hold it against us, mind me, but as an Anonymous, with some clear evidence? I know you already got some " this get a smile and chuckle out of me, is it so obvious I’m already prepared for it?

" As would be expected of me, but… would it be more profitable to use now or maybe try to use a little later against Potter as a argument that ‘he wants to take care of the poor, half-blood child to quiet it down?’ " it may be true after all.

"And then someone outrage at such a possibility would take a boy under its wing? " so we were on the same page? Good.

"The same I thought, my friend, the same, but who? I wouldn’t mind, a little talk with the Princes that I have some great motives and it would be enough to perceive it as cheap investment, so our relations wouldn’t get worse. They won’t mind him as long as he won’t shame them. "

"If he’s really that talented, I won’t mind keeping him too. Walburga may be a problem, but the sole fact that the boy is so much like a Slytherin and has a value would smooth her. A little. And maybe Sirius would have something else to do, not just trouble. She would come around " after a moment he added "Eventually. "

"I’m not sure if eventually would be good enough for Tom " through… "I don’t know if anywhere will be good enough for Tom. What do you think of doing something bolder? " there is a mischief in my eyes, I’m sure, after all this is dangerous game we’re playing.

"Meaning? "

"Let Tom take him in. Winzegamot would be thrilled, both of similar background, perfect student, so many recommendation.. and we may persuade him to take path in ministry first. You remember what he thought, before, that it is useless as Dumbledore would block him off. He may actually listen this time. After all, starting off slower may be fine too. Little by little making the influence of Dumbledore counting less and win over the population? A few things would need improvement, but… it can actually be a good idea. With his talent for words and charm, even muggle-born would actually vote for him! Not to mention the positive attention for helping such a poor kid. What do you think? "– I can see the gears in his head already moving, as to calculate and the Lord Black finally smile back.

"It can work, Abraxas, it can work. Now, as of details… "

"I will start by talking to minister that pureblood family, taking in a poor little half-blood after such a tragedy may be a bad idea. Many people, who know about his, oh so terrible experience, especially muggle-born, would try to defend their muggle relatives and by extension hurt the kid even more. Then maybe after a long, painfully detailed description of what happened, I would syggest selecting a half-blood. After all, they can relate better to him, understand both worlds and have wider perspective. Moreover, I will brought up the lack of attention from Dumbledore when it comes to the boy and how even I, pureblood who has nothing to do with children outside my own son, has come to visit him. Then I will make a little bigger event of the fact that Fleamont Potter witnessed the scene and it is said he was deeply disturbed himself, so even taking care of one boy, his son, may be hard with this late disturbance. When he will be both confused, horrified and wanted to end the discussion, I will suggest that Tom, who visited him, is a half-blood himself and is a respected person and would be happy to take him in. For a work I will mention him getting a place in Department of Magical Law Enforcement, I have enough connection to ensure it easily. From there he will easily rise, you know him. In no time minister. As long as Dumbledore is kept in check, that is. Horace Slughorn will be delighted to help me with his image, I’m sure. He always wanted to see him as one. "

" Should I back you up? "

"No, not right away, your family is way too known as the purists, this would reflect badly at the case " Malfoy’s are too, but mine ties to the Prince are enough for me to take action, at least as an excuse.

"So… we’re waiting for Tom to decide? He would be delighted too. If he don’t agree, always possibility, we will go back to original plan of getting custody ourselves. Maybe some bet who? Better to be prepared with full explanation or possibilities until he comes back " the knowing smirk said enough, we both hoped he will be too tired after his ‘activity’ to argue too much "Maybe if it takes less than four hours for him to calm down, you take him. Otherwise me. "

" Four hours of constant crucio? Or whatever else he think up? Even for Tom… " Well, in fact I don’t mind taking him in and teaching manners that much, after all he should be taught, especially after that cheek from back then! "fine, but don’t be disappointed that you lose . "

Fleamont's POV

It was already late in the evening when Albus come. I have been waiting for this quite a long time already. I was so sure he would be here when I come back home. I wasn’t wrong by much through.

"Welcome in Potter Manor, Albus. Dibby, can you take Mr Dumbledore coat? And then can you bring us some tea and sweets? " I ask one of our house elf. There is no need to hurry. We have a lot of time, after all.

"Yes master, Dibby is doing it now " with that Dibby has gone off to do his job with a smile. I don’t condone scaring or punishing our elves unfairly as some families. They are feeling beings too.

With that I am smiling too and offering my quest a chair. I will be a good host no matter the mood I am in. His grave expression and lack of twinkling would be worrying if I didn’t know the reason behind it. Before sitting down, Albus gives me his greeting with a polite smile and bow a little to my wife in such a gesture as well.

"I guess we didn’t come up to the same conclusion last time, Fleamont. "

"No, we didn’t. We both come to conclusion through. I still decided to help the boy, to fight for him. And this time I was right " now he’s looking at me more seriously "Did you hear of any other visitors outside of me? "

"Not that I’m aware of " was the reply. Really, Albus…

Ah

Isn’t he both charming and cunning fellow? That serpent…

"Then let me enlighten you, Albus, my old friend, the reason why Tom Riddle didn’t make an article yet or force the boy into anything " I’m pausing while observing hardening eyes of my mentor "He was regularly visiting him, you see? Become his friend and Severus actually trust him " a little crack in his mask and widening of eyes says a lot of his lack of the knowledge of this fact "I suppose that whoever was reporting to you was charmed by his beautiful smile and sweet, false words and so far you let him near the child, who he should stay away from. Worse, the child like him, trust him and not even once 15 minutes passed without Severus mentioning ‘Mr Riddle said, Mr Riddle did’. Even worse, he was so sure no one would want to visit him that he couldn’t believe in the beginning that I did. So much good your decision did, Albus " I know I shouldn’t ,it is rude, but somebody had to. Albus made a mistake, he need to know where to never repeat it again.

" Oh… "

"Yes? "

"It seems you were right after all. I’m sorry for being short seeing. If he has such an easy access to the child now, then… "

"Stop it, you were going to say that we can’t help him anymore? He’s a child, a child who was happy and smiling cause anyone cared he’s alive! I don’t care about your issue with him, whatever it is, we need to take action now. Not later, now!! "

"Like trying to take the boy under your wing? " oh, Albus, what I am saying all this time?

"Yes, like this. We can help him by showing him love. It is possible to talk to him, to make him listen. He’s not an naïve boy you might have thought. He is scared, was scared of me, but he recognized me!! From that night. That’s the only reason he let me talk to him, touch him and didn’t run away! "

Silence answered him at first.

"I suppose sometimes my old age does not make me credit. By remembering the past, I have nearly destroyed the future of one s young… How much influence do you think Tom has over him? "

" Honestly, Albus, I have no idea. He was reading him a wizarding tale when I came in.. " the slightly shocked expression showed that it was not one of the thing he expected of Riddle "but by noticing me, he barely stopped himself from killing me on the spot. He practically fled from there in order to contain his fury at my interruption, Albus! He wouldn’t stop himself if not for the boy, he did it in order to stay friendly in Severus’ eyes. It doesn’t look good at all. Whatever he really want, it must be important. And he has a head start, because we came as the second. He will always be the first friendly person in boys’ eyes. Someone special. Our option are heavily limited now and they didn’t even use the information about the incident as a blow to muggle-borns’ case… If you have any idea what to do…. "

"I have already back up your plan to take him in " after hearing it, I lit up like the Christmas tree, it can work "but if they use the argument of me never visiting him… Now, it would have less impact than normally. "

Or not…

What?

"You didn’t see him? Not even once? " – he signs and I’m in despair… ‘why ?’ is a question on my face.

"I forgot that he’s not Tom. In the end, even when I have gone to ask about his health, I didn’t see him by myself. I don’t think I can stop thinking about him like that now. He’s already had the blood on his hand… "

"HE WAS PROTECTING HIMSELF, he didn’t stab the bastard, it was an accidental magic, don’t you know?!! He was going to kill Severus!! He killed his mother while he was looking, for Merlin’s sake!! It was life and death situation and he didn’t even make a choice. Magic did! He just wanted to live like everyone!!! DON’T YOU DARE… " at that moment I realized that Euphemia is next to me, hugging me and pointing at the direction of James’ room. It takes seconds and many breaths to calm myself…

"Did I..? "

"No, he’s still asleep, I put on a silencing spell on his doors. Both of you had too serious face not to do it. Still, don’t do it again, dear, shouting like this is not healthy for your heart " always right, my love. Of course she is.

Another breath.

"Yes, yes, I know, maybe we should talk another time, Albus. Think about it again. Think of this little six years old child. And just know, I will do all I can to help him. I won’t stop because of your fears. Fears can only cloud your judgment, it shouldn’t drive it. Severus… he deserved to be loved " the last words were told with love and care. They contain all of it, all of my desire to see the boy honestly happy. Not imitation, not second-handed one, the real, true happiness which would be able to heal his broken heart.

Albus didn’t say much more, only something about contacting Alastor. He looked as if some understanding has finally hit him when he took his coat and after the last goodbye, he disappeared in the fire.

Shame as a companion. Blind could see it.

He has finally thinking again as he should from the beginning. Now we can counterattack. I can only hope we’re not too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another important chapter, at least for the story :") some planning, a little psychology, more explaining the events between this and the next one. There will be a few week gap between this day of first conversation and next chapter. 
> 
> I hope it's still readable! 
> 
> See you soon!


	9. Is it happiness?

Albus’ POV

It was so long, so long from the last time someone has properly shaken me. I was right so many times and my failure, no matter how rare, hurt so many people that I started to be afraid of it. Fear of being in the wrong yet again and has the responsibility for the people who paid for it.

Oh, you old fool, going on around mistaking two different people. How much did I miss because of my short-seeing? How much the damage was already done to the child? What can be done to help him? What can I do to fix it?

Oh, you old fool, so lost in your past. That child is no new Gellert, he’s no new Tom, he’s himself, Severus Snape. The strategy from the beginning, to leave him in orphanage until the case is closed and then to find him some proper family didn’t work. I should have said it, fully, to Fleamont. Not just justify, not try to be smarter than all of them. I thought that by not paying more attention to him, Tom won’t pay it as well.

I am such a foolish, old fool.

The child got Tom interested in him. He got his attention all on his own. I thought it is because of his mother. I thought it is because of the information in article that he has gone to meet him. What did he saw in this poor child at the time? What did I miss? Normally I would be right.

But I wasn’t.

All the information I took into account while thinking, they were not enough. I didn’t take this child, this poor, little, traumatized and abused boy, into account. Out of fear of seeing another Tom, I didn’t meet him. I still can’t. If I try, now, with my feelings in such a disorder, I might done only harm. I can’t see him until I made sure the imagine of Tom and of Severus are divided.

And it will take time.

Time we don’t have.

All our hope is in Fleamont, but as he said, we’re second. Not because he come second to see him, but because he decided to trust him secondly. It is important factor for a child from abused household. The first person he trust, he cares for, he loves… it is a special one, only one in itself. And if the boy is as emotionally addicted to feelings as this report state… then by now Tom may be as close as God to the boy. As important as his mother, as important as magic, more important than Fleamont, more important than himself…

I’m the reason this child may be lost. Is it what you wanted, Tom? Is it why you approached this little boy? To hurt us like that? To show how much better you are to wizarding world? I know you are the one behind the article, it took you long enough, didn’t it, Tom? Did you have your fun yet? Or do you want to defile the boy now? Or is there really is something more to it?

Oh, you old fool, once again you tried so hard, yet remained blind.

I’m so sorry, Arianno, your brother is such an idiot, he’s making the similar mistakes once again, just in the opposite direction. Before it was your life, Aberforth’s peace and happiness , mine soul and our family future… The price which was paid for my mistake.

I promised to change, to help children become adults in my quest to redeem myself enough, so one day I can look into your eyes when I die. And here once again, I failed. And another child, just like you, will pay the price. What will it be then? His life? His soul? His peace? The chance at real happiness? Time will show.

Now is the time to talk with Alastor, there are many things which need to be done. No matter how shallow the chance is, I need to try. To make it up, for whatever hell I sent him to. To try to prevent it.

I’m so lucky people like Fleamont are here or I would be still blind. Thank you for waking me up, this old fool, from my nightmare, my own prison, my this so-called by others brilliant mind.

There is a knocking on the door and I know who it is. The brightest new auror and one of the most impressive Gryffindor I has the pleasure to teach in last decade. I can be sure the job done by him would be solid. I can trust him with it. It is the most important part of human nature: trust.

Now is the time for me to earn some of it back too.

To trust myself once again. So I said:

" Enter."

And the first battle is about to start.

Severus’ POV

What does it take to make people like each others? I wish I know how to get Mr Potter and Tom to be friends.

He said it is rude to call him and Mr Potter similarly as Tom is a lot younger than him and it would be his birthday gift if I start calling him Tom. In advance, that is. I thought it fair as I got a birthday gift too – a 3 books, each about accordingly magical plants, animals and customs - from Tom, so after that I start calling him by his name. The problem with that logic is that it is not a birthday time of either of us yet. I’m not going to complain through as I had more books to learn liters from!

Both Tom and Mr Potter are helping me as much as they could while visiting. They are never in the same room at the same time unfortunately. It is cause they hate each others. They were from the beginning, but not all people like each others. Da hated many, me and ma too. Ma hated few, especially busybody neighbor, to be exact. I think I hate da for killing ma, too. So maybe it is normal to hate someone.

I wish they would not anyway. It only makes more trouble all the time. Other than that time, Mr Potter come here 5 times alreafy, with a broom and books! I think he check out the tales I had been lent already as none has been repeated. He also says I’m getting better in writing letters and reading! I am suppose to copy any words I don’t understand what mean and he would explain them for me next time he comes. He’s a nice person, I suppose it is why he’s warm. He show me the picture of ‘James’, his son, but I don’t like him. He has the same kind of air as some kids who bullied me in the park. I said ‘bullied’, but I didn’t know this world before. Mister Potter has properly explained to me that what they did was bad and called ‘bullying’. I don’t really get it, but I won’t ask. Maybe Tom would tell me later.

Some of the magic nurse said that there is a case of Mister Potter taking me into his house, but some article about what really happened at home was published and the nearly made decision or so was stopped. Mister Potter never told me about it through.

I ask Tom and he said they are deciding where I will live now. He also asked me if I would like it if he ask for guardianship… And if not, he won’t bring it up again, but he still want to know my opinion beforehand and I don’t have to answer immediately. He said he don’t want me to feel scared or uncomfortable, but it made me happy. He wanted me! He didn’t have to take care of me like ma or da! And he still wanted me for being me, he wanted my opinion, he asked… He cares! So I said yes! And maybe cry a little, but he only laughed and hugged me. As if I am a kid needed to be hug every time! Not that I was angry for it or something.

Even if he is silent, even if I can’t feel him like others, I know he cares. I know it the same way any normal kids would – through his action. Who would thought that a mere month ago I would not have told him my name? But Tom is not nice to everyone, he pretends to most. If you observe, there is different smile he shows me, different one he shows nurse ( magic one! ) and different one to Mr Potter ( this one is the least honest, that’s why I think he must hate him ) . It is nice, to believe in someone. Not to know awful things, not to even know beautiful things. When you can honestly believe someone, it is such a funny, warm feeling under my your – mine – left shoulder. I read once somewhere that it is where heart is. And where heart is, are feelings. So this funny, warm and nice feeling might be happiness! It is more than anything I want to thank Tom for. Not even Mr Potter make it feel so warm. Is this how it is to have someone you care about? I hope so, then as long as I care about Tom, I can be happy! Like ma was.

Now I’m waiting for some ‘auror’ to take me, they said they are going to make examination outside of this wing or so, but after the article was up, they may be some people not liking me and wishing me harm. As if there weren’t before. But I won’t run away from it. I promised both Tom and Mr Potter. If I do stay put and don’t cause trouble, he will bring in some quest!

Tom said no matter what I did, he’s bringing over tomorrow his blond friend’s, Mr Malfoy – Tom said it is important to be polite to him as he cares about it – son! I will meet someone who is a wizard child too! I like both Tom and Mr Potter, but I do wonder, what are other children like me? The wizarding one? I wish to had many friends one day, so I will be as nice as I can when Lucius, that is this child name, will come. He’s going to Hogwart next year, so he can told me about it later!

Not that I don’t believe Tom or Mr Potter, but they have long finished it. Many things might have changed. I wonder if he looks similar to Mr Malfoy and is as much indifferent as he or maybe he’s warm like Mister Potter? I worked it out recently, warms means good intention, indifferent none, extremely cold bad. Before I only encountered the last too, so this warm one was strange. The feeling were between no harm and pain. Now it is more complicated. I can’t wait to meet him!

And now someone is coming in. He’s quite younger than Mister Potter, probably closer in age to Tom, I think. He’s indifference and… something funny? Another one to work out, adults are complicated creature, always evolving when you think you have them worked out! It’s so unfair.

Mr Moody takes my hand in his left, keeps his right close to wand – magic sticks! - and is leading me. There are many people behind a glass. Some are shouting something, few shot me a it’s-your-fault look, others looks like they… pity me? I hate that one. It’s so empty. So false. Pity won’t do any good. It won’t help. It won’t change anything for better, so I hate it.

Doesn’t matter. Tomorrow Tom will come, I wonder, would he show me how to brew potion? I think ma did them. I wish to see it done again. Maybe he will grant it, this little selfish wish of mine…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is full of feelings, little of talking to none, is a bridge to the next one in my head ^^  
> Some good light for Albus too! It's not bashing here after all.  
> To the next one!  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .
> 
> I know he does not say it outright, but it does seem that he cares more about the opinion of Riddle, right? I need to make sure it is properly received, my intention that is.


	10. Alastor in not an idiot!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taradada, another one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a little more vulgar words in here, be warned!

**_Alastor's pov_ **

When Albus told me about escorting the kid for official examination, I was puzzled. I could understand the reason for it as many people would have some issue with him. Purebloods after the article used it as an excuse to treat muggle-borns even worse, not to mention muggles already considered animals. The events has practically prove their point in their eyes. Bloody purists. There were even many fights in school where muggleborns student were attacked by Slytherins verbally and physically. And as Gryffindors, the older students didn’t go to teacher as always, just go on to start another ‘war’. Only trouble with them all.

It all does not explain the animosity against this child. There were no quote of him in the article, no one took the information from him, through Ministry do try to redirect it at him. Cowards, it is as obvious as sun that the leak was from them. Some lousy people didn’t the job there or bribes were given. Probably both.

That’s why I don’t get it. Kid has a trauma and what? You try to blame him for his father’s crimes? Pathetic. How many of them were bribed to be here, how many go because others decided to come, how many are the victims of latest attacks of purebloods on them – wave of firing? It doesn’t bloody matter! He didn’t do it to you, but being cowards you are, it is easier to vent frustration on a kid than powerful people.

Pathetic.

So here I am. If one of those has some mental issues and decided to attack, then the kid need protection. The examination with ministry is important for his case, guardianship or so. Potter is doing his best, has a great chance to get him under his patronage, but it may take time. He was just one sign close to it when the article come out. Must have planned it, these bastards. Playing with us like that. It’s not as if that applications for guardianship afterwards from both Blacks and Malfoys has any meaning. They would faster invite Albus for tea with honest intention than take in a half-blood into their house. They don’t need such a pathetic ‘house elf’ as well… Maybe prestige, but.. the population it would give them won’t be maintained if they don’t treat him well enough. So impossible. Something is up with them.

I hope Albus know what he’s doing. This situation is more than fishy.

And this strange feeling the boy gives me from the beginning…

It makes my spin shiver. In a strange way, not bad, not good, like something important is before my eyes and I don’t see it.

Finally, the examination is over. The kid looks tired as hell. They weren’t too gentle with him, were they?

"Want me to take you up? " simple question, I don’t want him to pass out. It would make it all last longer and I have other works to do. And he’s so small one hand is enough to keep him anyway.

"You don’t want to pick me up " he says as the matter of fact. What the hell? "Don’t worry, ma stopped picking me up long time ago, da never did and Tom did, but only to show me the stars from the roof of magic hospital cause or if we were going out to the garden " Tom? That Tom Riddle that Albus think is gonna cause us trouble soon? "Mr Potter tried to, but… He’s afraid of hurting me and I think he remember that night, so I don’t let him. He will hurt himself if he force it, you know " the fuck?

How did he know it? He shouldn’t be able to tell… Fleamont Potter is an adult, capable and was in auror department for a long time. And how he knows I don’t really what to…

Fck.

These feeling from before is here again.

It was not my guts.

**The boy is a fucking legilemens!**

_**Tom's pov** _

My first thoughts on Abraxas and Orion’s suggestion were: what the hell? Is no one here competed enough to in five hours come up with a plan to successfully block Fleamont Potter from visi.. to block taking in one kid!

And how come that in their eyes in order to take the boy in, I had to become the Minister of Magic? Who created such a law and where has those two even read it? How from one little scheme, we have go to change back to the original plan? I already regret it a little, it can even not work in the first place! But.. maybe? The old fool has handed me a great weapon after all. The great Albus Dumbledore thinks himself above visiting the poor half-blood but is pro-muggleborns! A great line, indeed, for prophet. It may not kick him out of power, but it is a blow. Bigger than any we have done to him so far. To people supporting him? Yes. Him personally? We probably never have, not even once, did so much like a scratch to his reputation. He’s ‘the hero’ after all.

We’re in the running in fact. Thanks to Abraxas’ meddling, few bribes, encouragement of Black, Rosiers, Mulcibers ( despite snake incidents’, he’s already on his legs again through) and less of Lestrange ( we had to reduce the amount of tortured to 3, after all less people, less possible evidence ) I will have a ‘nice’ new job. Homework, nothing else. They are quite pathetic people out there incapable of thinking, it would be easier than a walk to the park.

If it don’t work, we’re ready to move on to plan B after all. Plan C is a great massacre of many, many wizards, not only muggle or muggleborns as initial, so let’s hope the first two works beforehand. Plus we’re supposed not to press too much on muggleborns officially to not to lose too support. New agenda .This part is still polishing. This does not mean accepting, it’s making your enemy lower their guard.

I didn’t like plan A. It was not only slow one, but with the high chance to fail. Too high for my taste, 70% after all. Now through, the chances are 50:50 and I want to go along with it. We need time and information anyway. We can spare this time to try out another approach.

We can bid our time to prepare the weapons to attack. Like the snakes we’re supposed to be – most of us anyway. Moreover, if we move on to the plan B, I can’t visit to pla.. to ensure the future loyalty of Severus! Yes, yes, loyalty.

He’s calling me by my given name now too. Birthday present done it, huh. I like it, I wanted this to happen after all. Getting what I want is part of my nature. That’s why I would not give over Severus to Black… Orion is fine, he would ( I think ) accept him and treat on my behalf quite properly, but.. His dear wife would call him from mongrels, treated him worse when her husband’s not home ( which is a lot with politics so high ) and who knows how their little menaces would react? One is his age and everyone are saying he’s more, Merlin forbade, of Gryffindor than Slytherin… No way I’m leaving him there. That’s not a place for nurturing talent! No matter how nice their library is. 

Why Orion and not Abraxas, I have no idea. I was half a mind to tear this little information out of their minds, but… in Ministry I would need to be sure about who has shield and who not before doing it. Many weeks of both observation, weak passive legilemency and character analyze. Lots of work before I enter one of their small, stupid simpleton. Horrible, isn’t it? For someone who is using it like a second nature like me ( or Severus) almost every day, at least 5 times, stopping myself from doing it need training… A lot of additional self control over my desires. It is way worse than on expression or behavior. I have stopped stopping myself many years ago, back when I made the first horcrux…

Still, with odds so against me… and it is not that I could say no and force them to do what I believes is the best. Not at all. It is not that the possibility of having Severus for myself was so alluring. It is not that I felt something I didn’t feel from the time I mastered flying spell. I asked the boy, of course, if someone tried to adopt me and didn’t tell me I would have crucio him into insanity. Or just used another flashy dark spell of mine. Up to my mood and a person, really.

And he said yes, he said he want to be my wards! I was so overwhelmed by this strange feeling and hugged him while laughing. Everything according to the plan. Was he always so small? He’s still only six years old… but he’s so intelligent it is hard not to think he’s older. He has this calming effect on me too, sometimes that is, and sometimes I get so angry over him that I will likely ( and mostly do so ) crucio a few unnecessary muggles. They are not worth it anyway. Like my worthless father. Like Severus’ worthless father. Like those (older) children in orphanage who never stopped calling me a freak. Ha! For a month when I was younger I thought it is my name too. I was like 2 years, I remember it clearly for some reason. It was the first time I hated someone. I solve it out in the end, from the words of our caregiver that I’m Tom, not freak, but anger stayed. Sad, how those worthless muggles can easily hurt us? Well, it go on until I was like 6years old and could completely control my accidental magic. Then there was revenge. If it is controlled, should it be called accidental anyway?

Muggles… Even without trying are destroying our culture, our lives sorely by existing… Sometimes I think every time I create horcrux, I’m starting to think even less of them. Like of some bugs. Which they are, obviously.

But it is not a point today. I’m bringing in Malfoy’s son, Lucius, so he can entertain Severus. He was already warned about being polite and not using his blood status against him. He’s not a mudblood, after all. And I won’t let him call him a mistake, both his parents weren’t worth his one finger.

As always a greeting, a charming smile, a few niceties, a few flirts ( or rather sweet words, whatever they want to see ). The better they see me, the better I will be presented as a potential guardian. So I can be nice to them for now. I can waste those 5 or 8 minutes for it. Investition, anyone from Slytherin would say, is worth the trouble.

When we finally enter, there he is. Sitting on the bed, with his nose in the book, seemingly trying to work out a meaning of some word from context, my half-blood Prince. Fitting nickname, isn’t it? We made it up after going through his genealogic tree. When he saw us, he firstly widen his eyes at Lucius, fast moving his eyes to me then.

I’m sure I’m smiling and nodding at the same time. Severus is getting all lively and curious and fast for him in reacting, he’s improving his appearance mildly and with his shy smile coming directly to us. It seems he is more open to people closer to his age, huh? Worth noting.

" Hello, I’m back with someone else, Severus. " I’m using my left hand to point at Lucius "This is Abraxas’ son, Lucius." and now at Severus "this is the boy I was talking about, Severus.

Now let’s see how it will unfold itself. I sit in the chair and observe.

Everything was well until Potters came.

_Again._

Rotten luck, one would said, is that she also brought someone… their spawn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm here again! Next one is from Lucius's Pov. Waiting for it?


	11. Shy hello!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And let's get one thing straight! They were not gits and bad people from the years eleven up.  
> No, they were indoctrinated by their family and in the end believed it.  
> So here Lucius is really more of a kid than anything else. He's growing up, will make choices and become who he will.  
> Have it in mind reading it!

_**Lucius' pov** _

I was waiting for it all weekend! I am going to made father proud and be respectable, ideal young pureblood and heir and I may even get a friend. I need to do a good impression on Mr Riddle and his future ward. Father was talking about it a lot lately with Lord Black. So it is practically final decision, right? If he were to be a ward of Mr Riddle, than as he is my father’s friend, I could have him around me? He’s a half-blood so I won’t have to show off much to him. I may be able to reduce acting to minimum or even stopped entirely…

Chances are low, but a wish won’t hurt anyone.

I’m not nervous at all! It is just… I was imagining the situation so many time that if I fail, I won’t be able to face Father. Or go out of my room any time soon. I need to tread carefully or I’m in big trouble.

My breath is getting a little shallow before entering the room. What if I don’t like him? What if he don’t like me? Surely it is impossible… Who could not like me? I am a heir of a great family like the Malfoys, I am polite, good-looking, know manners and etiquette. But he lived so far in muggle world… What if all those things are useless against him? I want to meet him after all! I want an acquaintance who don’t just nod at me or smile false. I can do it on my own, thank you very much.

But I’m a Malfoy and a Malfoy, being better than others, had to behave like it.

And then reality crumbles after expectation.

He’s nothing like other children Father introduced me to.

Not only because he’s six years old.

He’s not good looking, he’s shy, not confident, don’t move with the grace like us, noble, and have no manners. I miss introduction as I am staring… Surely he’s not that boy who got Father’s attention?

And then I realize, he’s analyzing me too. And better, despite the smile he’s wary, but put up a little façade of welcoming me. He’s not sure if he want me here just as much as I’m not sure if I want to be here.

That makes it. It all makes sense now! Father said that his mother was a blood traitor who married muggle! They didn’t teach him properly and as a half-blood he don’t have all we, pureblood, has. But he’s like us, he’s the snake. So decision made, I greet him respectfully, as I would to any other pureblood heir. The only goal I had in mind is to make him friend. Not follower, I need a good partner in crime too. And he’s not idiot like Crabble, little insane as Bellatrix or dull like Rodolphus. He will do. My intuation tells me so and Father said that Malfoy’s intuition is rarely wrong.

And miraculously, he smiles.

And then I remember another thing Father mentioned.

He can read intention of people.

Like Mr Riddle.

Useful indeed. Something to be impressed about. Father was right again too.

"Hello " so I took his hand.

"Want to see the book Tom gave me? " oh, he already calls Mr Riddle Tom… Means it really is final. Well, books are fine, there is not much to do more here. I suppose he’s not sure what to do with me yet. What if he never before hosted anyone? I suppose today he may learn it then as slow as he need.

"Sure, next time you should come to my house. There is a garden and brooms and horses and for sure more books, so I can show you few of my own things too. It is unfair if only you have done it " Plus I will show you how to properly host someone. Oh, he’s looking funny at me and then his eyes lit up.

"So… you want to be my friend? Tom said it takes time! "

" Of course it does, now we’re acquaintances , we’re going to talk, play and see each other and then we can be friends. Eventually. And we will work about your manners " – I blurt out the last part… Merlin, Father will kill me. No, _Mr Riddle_ _will kill me_.

" Really? You will help me learn it? I’m already reading about customs and other things from book Tom got me for birthday, future one anyway, but I don’t get it all. Not how, but why do people do it? " oh. I need to get Father to tell me this one… Mr Riddle, I think he knows what I think from my expression alone, as he’s laughing in the chair he took, so I change the topic. Fast.

"Later. I had more books like that in manor and they will have some answers " I hope so.

"Suuuuure, come on! " and so I go after him, we are talking about magic, my excitement for Hogwart, about the magical animals and plans and.. potions?

" Have you ever done one? " question are never ending for him, do they?

"No, I will when I go to Hogwats, there is a whole subject for it and it is very important. Why ask? You did? "

"Not yet, but ma did " - oh. His mother. Merlin, not this topic, how to redirect it… "Tom! Have you ever done potion " okey, he changed the subject for questioning. Wait, what did he ask about!?

"As every student who has graduated from Hogwart " he says with a smile. Never saw such an impression on Mr Riddle before. "I can even say I got clear O. on NEWT level test and was the best in my class. You will learn it too, one day. Something on your mind? "

"Can you do one here? I mean... " he trailed for the moment. Who likes doing potion anyway "Ma was only doing them, not magic like you do and sometimes I helped with cutting. I wish I could do one now too… " there are little tears in his eyes which he banish immediately. But the tone… If I wasn’t trained properly, the tone alone would made me cry myself.

"Sure, but maybe not today? Lucius probably will have enough of it soon, Abraxas said that his pre-studies about it doesn’t show that he has any great interest in the art " I’m blushing, oh no, please don’t say it in front of him, he’s suppose to be my acquaintance!

"Okey! " he’s happy with waiting? Wow.. He’s really interesting person. Is he even 6 years? He behaves more like 9 or 10. 

"Maybe we will draw some of magical beast? " he looks excited by the idea! And me too… Well, rarely I do draw on my own, it is unfitting of the heir to waste my time on such a childish activity, but maybe today won’t be a problem.

While we’re starting to drawing, me a Dragon, he, for some reason, Phoenix – he said it is because he won’t die easily so he might be happy a lot – Mr Riddle laugh at it yet again. Then there is a knocking and someone has came in. I looked up and can’t believe my eyes. Who would have thought that Euphemia Potter would show herself here along with her son now? What were the odds even? She is a blood traitor… I nearly say so, but then remembered that Severus is here, his mother was a blood traitor too. Better not to comment then.

" Hello, nice to makes your acquaintance, I’m Euphemia Potter and this is my son, James. Unfortunately, Fleamont couldn’t come today, so I decided to attend in his place. I hope we can be friends " she smiles friendly and I narrow my eyes. What is she playing at?

I look at my future friend for reaction, but all we got –

" You’re so warm! Tom, she’s even warmer than Mr Potter! why he’s so excited? Is it some sort of mysterious language? Ah, mind reading thing. He wouldn’t call her ‘warm’ if she was dangerous, so she’s a safe call. Really useful, that thing. Suddenly he is taking a proper pose! "Nice to meet you, Mrs Potter, thank you for coming " – first there was annoyance on Mr Riddle face and now pride. Seems he did taught it to Severus. Nothing less of my Father’s friend. So Severus has manners, must have forgot because Mr Riddle comes here often. We can work on it later.

" Nice to see you, Mrs Potter, young Mr Potter, my name is Tom Riddle, you must have heard about Severus from your husband, I believe? " so he’s going to be polite? Well, from conversation many things can be obtained. Mainly information. But what worried him was the boy, Severus said that only mother was warm, not a word about son. Father said he only comments good impression as he got so little of them. That’s why he ignored healers and Father.Then what does Potter’s heir think then?

_**Fleamont's pov** _

So this was the reason then? Why Tom Riddle paid so much attention to Severus? I thought many things up, mostly related to Dumbledore, but this… My lack of skill in the art is to blame. And the fact Albus never check on him. It was an important information. We would do things differently… Now they have a reason, even Malfoy or Black, to really take in Severus. Not stalking me or discrediting Dumbledore. It seems that Riddle took it as an extra credit to additional job. Not the other way around. Natural legilemens are extremely rare. Last known are Thomas Marvolo Riddle, our instigator and in lesser level Albus. Some Queenie from America too, but… anyone else never exposed themselves. It is a skill that made people wary of you, after all.

They all are different, yet similar...

We can’t even say to what extent the boys abilities are going then.

And what else we missed? Half-done job, indeed. Guess who has applied for guardianship few days ago? We just got the information confirmed through. The very same Tom Marvolo Riddle. Moreover with the influence of the Malfoys and good word of Horace he got high place in Department of Magical Law Enforcement… If he has Ministry carrier on mind after his journey, his findings during his journey saved him many years of normal rivalries that someone who didn’t inherit the place would need. Whichever he shared with them, it is.

"Albus, you think he did change the strategy, don’t you? "

"Yes, I think so, Alastor, if I were to guess… he’s doing two fronts. From one, he’s trying to take over peacefully, but I don’t believe even for a moment that he does think of letting muggleborns living in peace. "

"That, we can agree. That one impression I got from him the first time I have gone to Severus…. This makes me think.. He don’t hate muggleborns per see. He hates anyone who goes against him, his plans or in any other way hurt him. He wants power, Albus. And he despise muggles… and his heritage it seems. The agenda against muggleborns is just a excuse, the reason for pureblood to go along. Or maybe he believes that this is Slytherin’s will? Anyway, it is not that important to him. " 

"You mean he won’t push it too much? "

"No, I mean he will give it another name like ‘educating about tradition and culture’. If he goes slowly with his motives after becoming Minister, if he do, then most people won’t notice the little, constant change for worse when it comes to muggle-borns. Witches and wizards don’t want to be racists or their advocates either. Most would just go on with their lives… "

"And accept this unfair reality, you say, my friend? I can’t not agree with you, even if I want. I suppose it is time to call in a few favors. There will, for once, slower his pace. Alastor, can you have your eyes and ears open? Also about any information about young Mister Snape. "

"Aye, leave it to me. "

"I think it is time for this old man to grow up and meet him. He’s still young, just associating with Tom wouldn’t turn him into a monster and I need to assess the discovery Alastor did. What’s the chance of you being able to present me? Would he talk with me if you do, Fleamont? " good question, indeed.

"There is a chance… but I don’t know. It takes time for him to accept someone. Today, I was supposed to go with James… but because of this new circumstances, Euphy has gone. We will see what she says " Albus only nodded. Tomorrow is a gamble I don’t really want to take. Pity, there is no other choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have Lucius' pov!  
> Hope you like it :3 any complains in the form of comment ^^  
> next one will have some more action <3


	12. Escapist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT  
> Don't make any bad opinion, please!  
> Read the End Notes.

_**James' pov** _

I hate him.

Until the last month, dad was normal. And then suddenly he’s often sad, he even cried! Mom didn’t want to tell me why. Until this paper show up I have no idea why. And then everything become clear. Dad told me about a boy he would like me to become friends with. I was exciting because playing with someone is better than playing by myself like trillion times! And I thought dad got better and is my usual dad again. But he’s not and it is all this boy fault.

His father killed his mom. It is only obvious that he will be evil like his dad. Like I will be a hero like my dad. And now he’s trying to steal him. Thief. Evil snake. He will be in Slytherin for sure, likes like him are there! But I will be a Gryffindor who saves everyone!

That’s why when mom said we’re going to visit it, I didn’t want to. But one look at dad told me he will be disappointed if I won’t go, so I did. Who knows, maybe there is someone needed protection from him there? So many people thinks similarly to me, that’s why they are shouting and cursing. It only makes sense as I’m right. Right?

And he’s all I thought he is. Ugly, slimy, bad guy. Not only his hair is dark, but also eyes! Isn’t it a definition of evil? Why mom is so nice to him. Why dad want to take him home? They have me already… He doesn’t have anything I don’t have better. So why?

He’s not even looking in my direction and he insulted mom! She’s not warm or anything. She’s the best person ever, his could never match!

Mom, I think, can see my resistance and try to make me go to greet him. My enemy is looking at that nice looking guy in the chair. Pff, not that anyone would care. But he nod. Nod for what?

Evil, black eyes’ kid is coming closer and giving me a shaking hand – he’s afraid, coward! – while muttering his name. Severus? Hmm, as such. I’m not going to call my enemy by a given name, so instead of taking his hand, I push him away a little. After he get up, he’s running away from me. HA! Coward.

But mom is angry at me for some reason. She can’t see how evil he is and in how much danger we are! She’s too nice, that is.

Mom is trying to calm him down, apologies for me – she shouldn’t, he deserved it – and Malfoy glare at me. Like seriously he is going to attack me. The man just stares into my eyes for a moment and moves. He stops close to my mom.

"I’m sorry, but I think it is better you leave before I had to call in a healer. He’s still in trauma, quite severe as I assume you’re aware and he need no additional shock or harm of any kind. It was the condition for Lucius’ visit and I’m sure for your son’s too. He don’t meet it anymore. Maybe some other time, alone. Or with your husband. For now, if you could kindly move away… " he has practically took that kid in his arms and is what? Talking to him. Moving his hand on his back. All this while keeping him on his lap. Why does he breath so shallow? Or does he breath at all? I’m not worried or feeling guilty at all!

Not at all…

But I’m still biting my lips and not saying anything. Maybe, just maybe I shouldn’t do it.

I will apologise to mom later.

She, my mom, has tears in eyes. Did he do sth to her!

How could he…

But instead mum is kneeling before that evil child, apologizing and promising to come some other time. Then without a word took my hand and lead me out. Not a word during the all ‘going home’ journey. Not even ice-cream for trying to protect her!

Is she angry?

At me?

Why?

Was I wrong?

**_Tom's pov_ **

I didn’t try to make Lucius stay, there was no more point to it. He needed to get a calming draught after this little stunt of that Potters’ spawn. What a great way to brought up a child, hypocrite. You wanted to take in my Severus and you didn’t even ask your son about opinion? No talks? No explanation? Quick legilemency told me all I needed. The boy, for sure Gryffindor, already hates him. To the core. His jealousy of your attention makes him think of my Severus as the worst criminal! But I can work with it. Very, very much thank you for it.

So far, we might have the same chances, really, cause I’m just starting my ‘work’ in Ministry. Now? Even without the testimony of Severus, there is no way you will get him! No matter that he likes you too, he’s afraid of your son now, of his anger and with time, he will pay him hate for hate. He’s a Slytherin after all. No one in right mind would now chose you.

I wonder, how will Abraxas react on the news of this little accident? I can’t wait to tell him about it with details. I suppose no muggle will become insane today.

_Next day…_

"He did what? " I can’t believe it, I just can’t. How the hell did they, healers and specially trained medi-witches, lose one little six years old boy.

"We must have given him not enough of calming draught, when he, uhm, wake up, he used, uhm ,his magic to open the doors and just… go out? " Someone keep me or I will murder them right now and right here. I know now who is the first on the list ‘magical people to exterminate in order to makes everyone feel fear’ as a step one of plan B…yea, they are perfect first targets…

"And? Surely it would be impossible for so many security not to notice a child! " I knew they are idiots but to this extend?

"He’s exceptionally silent and for some reason was able to avoid frontal confrontation… "

Right.

" Of course he is! He is abused child who was as silent as possible to avoid his ‘fathers’ drunkard fist!! " I’m angry and I’m shouting and I will crucio her! "he has many years, despite being 6 years, of experience! That’s why he was in special room and you were supposed to pay special attention to him, not take care of your make-up or do a call to your boyfriend! You’re being paid for it! " and many, many influential people will hear of it, be sure.

"We’re doing all we can to fin... "

"You’re not doing enough, if anything. Get out of my way " I snarl at her with so much hate she’s practically jumping back like from fire. If it wasn’t a public place…

"Where is a floo? I need to call " hurry up, better.

"There, on the left at the end of this corridor. "

Without a second glance I’m going and immediately flooing to Malfoy Manor. I’m lucky he was home, it seems.

"Tom? Weren’t you suppose to be with your future charge? " his tone show a worry, I use public connection only in emergency after all. Too easily traceable.

"They let him run away. " simple, short, on theme. We don’t have time.

"What? How? "

"They are incompetent. He must be on his way to his ‘home’. Give me an address and don’t, Merlin forbade, sent anyone. They would only scare him. "

" You really think he will get there? "

"Think? I’m sure of it, that kid thinks far ahead his age! He used magic to get out of his room! He’s confused and scared. He will go there as he know no other place. Give me the address! He might have run at 1am or 3 or 5! We don’t even know that. Just as good someone could kill him… "

" Fine, fine, it’s Spinner’s End in Cokeworth. I will sent someone with precise details when I find... "

"No need to, this much I will get out of these muggles’ heads. I will go home with him the moment I find him. "

"The house you got after your ‘father’, you mean? "

" Well, I improve it enough not to be called it. Right now it’s presentable, don’t you think? Moreover will be a good picture for campaign in Ministry. I will be 'accepting' my muggle heritage, afer all. " As if.

"Definitely, floo me when you find Severus, Tom. Lucius actually ask when is the next visit, you know? "

"Soon. "

And this I ended the fire.

There is a lost lamb to find after all.

_**My pov :** _

In Cokeworth, park:

Two girls were playing. One, with auburn hair was trying to show her sister the flower, who she made open up and down.

"How do you do it, Lily? It’s not normal! "

" But I can, Tuney, if I can, then you should too! Can’t you try? " but the girl only bite her lips and was at loss for words.

"I… " but then they heard a sound. The older girl head snapped and she looked in the direction "Who is there!? "

But nothing did answer them. Before the older of the two could say something, the younger one has already gone off and into the bush.

"Lily!? Come back here this instant or mommy will never let us come alone again! "

"Tuney, look, I found sth! " with reluctance she has gone after her sister. The anger clear on her face, she come closer until she froze…

Her sister found the boy.

The same boy whose father killed mother and tried to kill him.

The same who was supposed to be in hospital getting treatment…

Which means that..

"He run away back here…? " shouldn’t someone already took care of him? The thought wouldn’t left Petunia Evans’ head.

"Tuney, you know him? "

"We should take him to mom and dad, Lils, he needs help. He must have passed out of cold… It’s getting closer to winter… " with that she took out his scarf and use it on the boy. He might die if nothing is done. Lily, observing her older sister, did the same with her gloves and together they started to move him in direction of their house.

‘Dad is a doctor, he will help.

And mom always has something hot prepared to eat.

And Lily can bring the blanket while I put him on the sofa.

There was no time to waste after all.’

was all she could think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James Potter is a kid who always got all the attention  
> But here, he is having problems with it being less than normal.  
> Not by that much, just not so much as normally.  
> And he's worried about his father.  
> He has just heard things from prophet after a month of worries what's going on. He's not his best self, he's childish and brat.  
> No one talked with him as they should. The details are too difficult, they have no idea he worked it out from picture and simple words he knew. He does not know all as well.  
> He's angry and worried, any kid worried about their parents would try to find what is wrong and fix it.  
> And he's the Gryffindor to the core who was going asleep with stories of how great Gryffindor was - and them show Salazar badly.  
> Take it all into account, thank you very much for still reading!


	13. Ginger explosive!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is probably the last for a few days, tomorrow I had a test and need to put my time into it.

_**Sev's pov** _

It’s so warm…

I open the eyes In the darkness.

And I know something is wrong.

I know this feeling.

I’m scared.

And I have no idea where I am. Where is Tom? Tom was here…

"Ciii, sweetie, sleep, tomorrow we will contact your guardians. Get some sleep for now, hmm? " who is she? She’s not Tom… And there is something next to me, something both heavy and warm…

A head.

Ginger head.

I froze, not knowing what is happening. The woman, very warm woman, smiles.

"We couldn’t take her away from you. She said you can do these strange things too " strange..? magic! "you know what I’m talking about, it seems. Don’t overwork yourself, you nearly froze yourself to death! Maybe trying to fall asleep again? "–I’m blinking faster now and I think she gave up on her quest. I won’t fall asleep anymore. Not tonight.

"She’s a witch? " I asked? Hoped? Or I broke the law. Tom would be disappointed. "You mean making flowers grow is magic then? " there is hope there, worry and hope… in her eyes, voice.. so these feelings looks like that? Strange colour, like her hair. She confirms and I nod.

"If no one in my family have magic, as you called it, how come she has? "

One moment to over think my answer. Well, if she can do magic like Tom and me and mom, I can tell them, right?

"Tom said that people whose parents don’t have magic are called muggleborn. She can have magic, even if you don’t. I don’t know much through. You may have to ask Tom. He will know. " that I am sure of.

"Tom? Is he your guardian? " I’m slowly analyzing my option.

I can tell her and she may contact him.

I can tell her and she might hurt him? No, Tom can read better than me and he’s strong and she’s warm. She won’t hurt him.

I can also not tell her and have faith the next time I run away from here, I will find a place to stay on my own or the way back. But do I want to go back…

To ma’s house? No, I… I hate the place where ma died. And da. It was usually so cold there… I was so hungry so many times… And it hurt. And da was mad and punished us a lot…

No, I don’t miss it.

Hospital? People ignored or pitied or hated me… But Tom is there. Was there. And the books he gave me. And my homework for Mr Potter. And Lucius may come again…

I don’t miss hospital.

I miss Tom.

If I tell her, can I see him again?

I have a chance. I’m not happy now. This nice feeling when Tom is with me disappeared. I want it back…

" No, but he applied for it. There is still a case, in magic world. Because da killed ma, who was a witch, there are some eehh, protests or so. Miss from that room said that soon I will be placed somewhere. "

She’s sad now. For who? Me? But only Mr Potter, his wife and Tom ( I believe) were ever sad for me. I want to say something else but she hugs me and I panic again.

Fortunately she notice it and let me go. I breathe a little, putting bad thoughts away as always and ask how she’s going to contact him?

"I have my own way, wizard or no wizard, everyone can read " she smiles, kiss ginger head and go away. It is a sign I should sleep. I don’t. But I’m not afraid of the girl. Normally, I would flinch or get scared or run away, but she feels so light. Never met someone so light.

I wonder, what will she be like if she is awake. What would she feel like?

I don’t even know when everything fade away.

_**Lily’s pov** _

My stomach : I’m hungryyy.

My head: I want to sleep a little longer

My stomach: I’M HUNGRY!

My head: Fine, have your way.

So I open my eyes.

Right, strange boy, who is all black and can do things like I do!

And he’s still here so I didn’t imagine him! Yes, yes, I won’t be alone anymore! I need to ask mom if we can keep him. Or maybe it is better to ask daddy? Yea, he would agree easier and know how to take care of pain, so he knows how to fix my strange boy too!

I can’t wait until he wakes… it would be too long! I even fell asleep yesterday!

"Come on, wake up, wake up, wak--!! " shouting while jumping on the bed might have been fun idea, but getting high and couldn’t get back is not so funny. Fortunately daddy heard me and catch me in time.

"Lily, we talked about it. What if you hurt yourself? You have to be careful... "

"I’m sorry, daddy " looking with my eyes works usually, so maybe they won’t ground me for exposing to danger.

Yet.

"You’re really a witch…? "

"Whaa..? It’s rude to call someone names! " now I’m angry. And here I wanted to be his friend. Wait, he’s awake!!

"No, I mean, you really did magic! "

"Magic? Like in cartoon? "

"Noo, this one is real, I don’t know much, because I was brought up here, not in magic world and ma didn’t tell me much yet, but Tom said a little. We’re wizards and witches and we can do magic! "

"Really? "

"Yhm. "

"You really wanted us to think you are saying a truth? " Tuney? Why she’s angry?

"I’m not sure what you’re trying to say, but Tom wouldn’t lie to me. He even did some to show me! And I did some too while I.. " I..? "I escaped from hospital " ooh, so this was where he was. And he escaped? Cool! Can I escape too? But mom and dad would be worried, so maybe not.

Yet.

" you’re serious..? " I want to say something, Tuney should already know that this, what I do, not everyone does. And he does it too.

"Well, I think so…? At least this is the reason da hated me and ma so much " hm? What does he talk about? Even Tuney is silent now.

"Mom? "

"Don’t ask, Lily flower. Tuney, can you take the boy to the bathroom and hand him over some cloths we find for him and- "

"I don’t need it, I will just go back, I have to go back, I want to see Tom again… " he won’t stay? But then..

"Play with me! " I shout!! If he can’t stay, then at least he should play with me, right!?

"But… "

"Go on, sweetie, we will find your guardian and until then, let those two big, beautiful girls take care of you, hmm? "

"… Okey " Yes, yes, yes, we will play!

" Let’s go, Tuney!! "

Tuney signes and:

"Fine, come on, start by telling us your name as boy is hardly anything to use. "

Oh.

Everyone are silent.

It seems only Tuney is thinking here at all.

So I laugh. It’s my Tuney, she’s genius!!! She’s mine after all. The strange, black boy gapes at us, got into strange position and says:

" Nice to meet you, I’m Severus Snape. "

Now everyone, even Tuney, laugh and Sev is all red.

Sev cause Severus is way too long.

And nicknames are cool!

" Come on, Sev, we will bath you and cloth you and then play! "

"Whaa? My name is Severus! " he says as he is being pulled by me. Tuney shakes her head funny but go along. I think she is amused.

Before we’re out of hearing, mom says:

"Put this little information is a few place around Cokeworth. I’m sure that Tom will come looking around. Maybe we can ask him more about this magic stuff? "

But now we’re going by the stairs, barely not falling down, so fast I am! Tuney is preparing a bath, leaves the cloths and says instruction for how and what and etc. What is it for I don’t know.

"Lily, we’re out. "

"What? "

"You can’t stay here when he’s bathing! "

"But you can stay with me! "

"It’s different!! "

"How? "

"He’s a boy! "

"And what of it! "

"Lily, come one, he’s already all red, don’t gave him too many shocks one day. "

While I turn back to see what she means, I am kidnapped from the bathroom and she wouldn’t let me in again. Not fair at all!

When he finally come out ( and Tuney finally let me go ) we go off to play. With everything! Tuney was making sure we’re alive, but in the end joined too! So much fun, I never had anyone who could understand me so much.

I need to ask again to keep him.

Maybe it will work! Like magic!!

We have not yet finished with all the dolls and board games I planned when someone rang at the door.

I hope it is a postman.

Noooooooo.

Postmen are not that handsome. Tuney said so once.

And Sev started running down before we even had a look.

"Tom, I’m sorry, I didn’t… " he couldn’t finish as he was hugged so fast and so much, it would be a competition for my dad!

Not for me, of course!!

"So, Tom I presume? Can we talk? "

"Yes, when it comes to the recompense, I will.. " but mum don’t let him finished.

" Not that, we would like to know more about magic, as our younger daughter seems to be a witch too. "

So he is a wizard too?

Cool!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy!  
> I will add a few more tags ^^


	14. Conclusion for six years old!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will probably ( not sure yet, maybe one episode with Black or will just put it in retrospects ) the last chapter when Severus is 6 years!  
> Enjoy!

**_Tom’s pov_ **

He’s gone.

He’s not where he should be.

It was not supposed to be like that.

I was not supposed to be going around this cursed, muggle town in search of him.

But then again, has anything gone according to the initial plan lately? I suppose not.

This place is so plain, so grey, so muggle. No wonder he was so depressed and happy with a cloths which had color. They were something new for him. Not only cloths, colors.

Spinner’s end is all I associate with muggles. There are drunkards, abusers, pathetic woman and man, plain and stupid children. The houses are mostly ruins or extremely old and damaged. If there are places worse than orphanage, it is one of them. With everything around so plain, I still can’t find anyone with the knowledge of his whereabouts or the boy himself. Was he even properly clothed? If not…

Oh Merlin, he might have frozen to death by now. Should I try to track him by magic? He has quite an unique signature and his is also farther projected by his passive legilemency. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. At worst I will have a headache.

Closing my eyes, concentrating, letting the wind pass through me, letting go of occlumency, putting all my mental strength in legilemency, changing the way it is channeled…

There are two points close to themselves.

One is so bright and unknown it hurts. Light affinity magic definitely, probably charms, it’s too smooth.

Another is darker, stronger, changing at every second. Subtle, strong, never staying the same… Good for both dark magic and its counter-curse. And it’s a similar signature. The one I was looking for.

I got you.

And you’re alive.

And you’re in trouble.

And these people… there was no more signatures and no one registered here. Means that it’s muggle-born… Third child he ever met is a muggle-born. Hope he didn’t grow too attached yet. He will not meet her again until Hogwart anyway.

Times to recover him and go back. He need some examination, medicine and sleep.

It takes around 15 minutes to get there on fool. I suppose my little meditation took a lot of more time as it is already 2 pm. Quick check if I’m presentable and knocking. I won’t give away my worry. I’m Lord Voldemort, who is going to take over magical world, no way I’m concerned.

Some woman, blond hair, tall, slim posture. She’s smiling and probably know who I am. Great start.

And before I can state the business he’s already down. His occlumency shield is in pieces and I don’t need to dig to see how relieved he is to see I come for him. No time to give him a scolding as he’s already apologizing and the only thing I can do with him is being glad he is in one piece and actually hug him. He scared the hell out of me, the brat!

Next time I will put collar on him to keep in place.

Brat.

Now the talking. And here I hoped money would be sufficient. Now I need to spent another few minutes in this place.

"Ah, I understand why you would want to know, Mr…? "

"You don’t know from the advertisement? " what? She thought I would read some muggle trash? No, thank you.

" Actually no, I tracked him by using magic. " I say so with the smile, she already knows and will know about it. No need to obliviate afterwards. Through….

"Mrs Evans, to be precise, this is my older daughter, Petunia, and this is our little witch, Lily. I know that I’m taking your time and you must be a busy man, but if you could… "

I sign. I hate debts and Severus is looking. If he was not here, if they did not help him, if they were all just a muggle, it would be so easy choice.

No, I have no choice. I would apologise to Severus one day for it.

But now I will say a few things and have them off my back. Not that they would remember my face.

"To be honest, Mrs Evans, a person from school, Hogwart, will come with a letter to explain it properly to you. It is not my responsibility and the right to do it. Just a few things: hogwart is a school of magic, your daughter would have to attend for her own safety, looking at her I would bet on Gryffindor, it is the best to start saving now if I am to be honest, it can be quite a burden on finances if you want all the new things, there is a place where you can buy all she will need, but at the moment without invitation you won’t enter anyway. The best for now would be to wait and don’t attract attention. I propose to talk to this person " I take out a paper and write a name, ah, better to know your enemy, right? "He will explain the rest. And now I’m sorry. "

"What..? " Before she could continue I **_obliviate_** them of my and Severus names, faces and the facts concerning us. It won’t do for any of them to try to dig, I would have to kill them and Severus would be hurt by it.

He is right now, through.

Even if he does not talk about it, I can see the question. But…

His usual shields are not up. No, they were up with them, but dropped with me… why?

"Something to say, Severus? "

"Is it my punishment? " he’s asking quietly "is it because I run away? "

" I’m sorry, Severus, but it had to be done. For their own good. If people from our world were to know, they would attack them too. Your case from here is too fresh to come back at them. And… " I’m looking directly at him now "I will do what is the best for you. Not always it will be the most desired solution. For that I’m sorry " now he’s crying… He liked them so much?

"Thank you for not giving me up, Tom "– he mutters after like, 2 minutes of calming down. And I don’t get it, Did he think that... " I am sorry I run away, I don’t even remember it, all is so blur and hard to remember… " so it was natural defensive reaction? He needs longer therapy it seems "they saved me. I’m in debt to them. "

Ah. That’s the case, I never apologized for obliviating them, you should know.

"I will take care of it, **_obliviate_** _._ Let’s go home, Severus. "

"Yhm, I’m still sorry, thank you for finding me. For not leaving me alone " the one moment of blank look is enough of proof. It worked properly.

"You’re forgiven, but we will talked about it more later. Now let’s get you properly checked up . "

I transfigured his new clothes to look like his old ones, but I need to get rid of them later, just in case. And tomorrow first day in the Ministry. Brilliant.

"Hold on for a moment, it won’t be pleasant, but it is fast " he did just that and we apparated to Riddle Manor.

Time to set up some room for him and floo Abraxas.

_**Albus’ pov** _

The day I wanted to finally see the child, he has run away.

The day it was decided, little James cause the boy to had panic attack.

The very same day he disappeared, Tom nearly bitten the St. Mungo's staffs' heads, then go search on his own and found the boy.

And never returned him. It was like, 10 days ago?

The reason:

“the people who were supposed to take care of him, didn’t do it. I can at least left him with someone reliable for the time or have house elf observe him. He will recover much faster here than within hospital. Either agree or pay compensate for him being nearly frozen him to death thanks to your incompetence! “

So both Ministry and St. Mungo chose to let him stay. After all, the Malfoys would lead the case and the refund would be way higher that way than normally and they thought the boy would stay with him anyway. With this, officially, without Tom’s consent, no one else can see the boy. 

For some reason, any time the case is about Severus, it is a losing battle. Maybe it is a fate or my mistakes at the beginning were too severe. Now, there is a visit to win. Tom is of course saying it is too early, that he needs more time.

But we know the next time he will be so adamant as to allow it is after the official adoption or so I thought. 

How many times in a row one can be wrong?

Just now come the invitation for both Potters and me for tomorrow. The only condition is not talking with him alone, means he will be there all the time. He alone. No one else. Neither Malfoy nor Black nor Lestrange. It is fishy, but we have no other choice. Euphemia won’t go through. In case of security. Fleamont is still heart-broken by young James behavior. He blames himself for what happened to Severus. Both of them had a long, serious talk with James and says he’s starting to understand.

Who would know that Tom would ever come here? To the house of his father? It is made an unplottable location through and getting in without his allowance could be hard, nearly impossible without alerting way sooner. There, in the door-frame, was standing Tom with a mocking smile.

"Welcome, Albus, Fleamont, please, come in " Curious, he’s trying to reign in his resentment to us, put it all behind occlumency. So you don’t want to show the child your bad sides? How much does he really know about you? We will see.

So we’re going into the devil snare.

Just behind the devil himself.

The child is in the living room, he’s… drawing. When our eyes meet, I can feel the pull. Natural one. Not too strong, but subtle, hitting in the most sensitive spot. All of it instinctively. Any with a grasp on mind arts would see it. Anyone who would meet the child, that is. Next worlds were strange through.

"Empty man. He’s similar to you, Tom " oh Merlin, the expression on Tom is definitely priceless "Mr Potter! " and now he’s going to greet Fleamont. Yes, he liked him. But no, not enough to win him over, he loves Tom. The little barrier around his mind crumble when he’s looking at him. It is a sign. What will you do with this child, Tom? I wonder, will we have a chance to get to know him at Hogwart?

" I’m sorry to you too " hm? Why would he... "I just run away instinctively, Tom says I mistook the hospital for Spinner End’s and thought I’m in danger and run away half-asleep. I don’t really remember it, I’m sorry for worrying you and Mrs Potter " no more home then, your birth house?

"No, I want to apologise for my son, he was being rude " of course you want to.

"Your son? Tom said something about your wife visiting me, when Lucius was over the first time. Actually I saw him the second time! He wants to teach me manners and such but still is searching for the reason you’re using the silverware this way, not the other around. Tom said he won’t help him with it. At least he could answer why we learn it at all, but I’m sure he just repeated Mr Malfoy " all of this with nodding as if saying a world-wide-known truth.

"He doesn’t remember it, Potter, let it go " it was a warning,in a quiet voice, a whisper to avoid Severus hearing it. " I will explain another time perhaps. "

So we stayed. Tom is quiet most of the time, always observing the child and adding something from time to time. Sometimes he calmed him down when he is speaking too fast as if wanting to make up the time he didn’t gave Fleamont. He barely paid any attention to me. Until Hogwart question.

"So, you know if you’re going to Hogwart. You have Headmaster of it sitting along with your Mr Riddle over there " on this his eyes lit up and in record time he was next to Tom.

"You’re a headmaster, that of card, Dumbdore? " oh. Don’t laugh. It’s the first time he has ever taken the initiative.

" Yes, well, let me introduce myself properly, I am indeed Albus Dumbledore and yes, I do, it will be my third year as such. I have been teaching there for longer through. Tom was my student once. "

"You were? " oho, he’s asking Tom now, of course, he want confirmation. I can tell my eyes are twinkling. The child is way more lively than I imaged.

"I was, as I said, the best of my year. In potion too " potions? Ah, Eileen, one of her better subject "you can ask more question about it, you know? Of course I won’t say anything about sorting and I’m sure professor won’t too. "

"Are they really ghost there? "

"Yes, and every house has its own. I’m sure they will delighted to see you. "

"And a monster in the sea? "

" As real as possible I assure you. A real rarity to see him for a student and teachers alike. "

" Dragons? "

"Ah, no, unfortunately there are no dragons at Hogwart, but a few students who graduated from Hogwart actually work with them. If it is your passion, it won’t be a problem to organize some meeting. If they have time, of course. "

His eyes were so alive that I got angry at myself. How would I think of him as a monster?

" Why you’re empty? " this question take attention of Tom. More than any before.

"Because both I and Tom are similar to you, child. We can tell the emotion or if someone is lying to us and with the proper mastery of the skill, the memories of the person we’re looking into eyes of. It is a rare talent. You should be proud of it. With time you would master it and only read into people when you want. They would all become empty. "

"All? "

" Yes, as you are to me or Tom. As we are to you. It will take time and effort, but it is nothing to be scared of. You’re no different than any other boy your age " but it is a lie, isn’t it? A good lie. No one so talented in mind arts is normal. History showed it. But it was enough, to make this child feel better, to not be so afraid. If peers get to know about his ability, they would avoid him. So…

"It is better to keep it a secret through, many people would try to use your talents for their own purpose. "

"Tom said it too! "

"Really? Then both of us can't be wrong, child. Any more question? "

Another voice stopped it through.

"I think it is enough for today, professor, if he get to know all about his future education now, what will be the point of going? " the sarcasm was so clear. He’s angry at me. For once for different reason, it seems.

" So I will go to Hogwart? You never answered it before, Tom! " this took the chuckle out of me, he was pouting!

"I was waiting for Abraxas’ decision, if he were to sent Lucius to Durmstrang, you would go there too " already so sure about guardianship, aren’t you? "and as he is going to Hogwart, I guess you will too. I won’t sent you anywhere without supervision for the next 8 years at the very least. "

"Whaaa? Then you will go with me on the walk? "

"Maybe, maybe not me, we will see the destination and then talk. I suppose it is time for you to go? "

"Yes, I quite agree " – looking fast at Fleamont, he has something in his hands, the reason for his silence "what it is, dear friend? "

"I draw phoenix when Lucius was over, which I gave Tom. But it was unfair so I draw another for Mr Potter " phoenix? Of all creatures…

"Oh, I do know one personally, he’s my familiar. "

"Really? Can I see it? "

"Only if you get in so much trouble you would be sent to me for a talk " how not to laugh or smile? How long will this innocent stay with him, I do wonder. The one harsh life didn't beat out of him.

"Then I will get into one the first day I am in Hogwart, you have my word! " cheeky, that kid. But it was not a Gryffindor style showing off, eyes told me so, he made me a promise and like a Slytherin he probably will be, he’s going to stay true to it.

"I will wait then for you along with Fawkes. Good bye, Severus, it was a pleasure to meet you. Tom, to the next time. "

"Albus. "

Before I go out completely I can hear a question “ Is pleasure the same thing as happiness? “ He didn't ask me, but someone he trust more. Not Gryffindor, too suspicious for Hufflepuff and his interest in wisdom is not sorely based on knowing, but using too. Yes, definitely little, smart and cunning Slytherin.

Let’s see what fate has in stock for you, child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy you did stay so far as to read this one.
> 
> Plz don't kill me for Lily's case.  
> Love you all too :**  
> See you soon!


	15. Blacks, manners and Christmas!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I needed to introduced Sirius and Regulus and have some more conclusion, so here we are!

_**Sev's pov** _

For some reason, Mr Potter hasn’t come back after that last meeting with the silver-bearded headmaster… When I asked Tom, he said that because he has already adopted me, Mr Potter wanted to give me some time on my own to adjust, but… I do not believe it. The way Tom said it expressed anger, the one that usually comes with disappointment. I know, I’m young, little and has no prove, but I think he just remembered that he has his own son and I am not good enough. I know something like that would happen, but it still hurts. I’m grateful that Tom didn’t give me up. I don’t know if I can go back to being alone now. It’s just painful.

For the last three months I have been attending the sessions for manners with Mr Malfoy. I was supposed to learn them first before I would be introduced to Mr Black’s family. He’s a nice mister, who was going to the Hogwart with Tom and Mr Malfoy. Actually, when Tom is not looking, he’s showing me off some spells! Mr Black said that when I have a grasp of manners and I am ready ( whatever it does mean? ) I would be visiting him more often as his sons are similar in age to me.

I know he was joking, but said if I am doing too well, he would have to kidnap me to learn his older son some manners, so I better be careful. But… Evan said that he might not be joking as Siri ( I heard his name is actually Sirius, like constellation as all of Blacks! It’s so cool!) is rebelling a lot and arguing with his ma. I don’t know if I could argue with ma or Tom. They just always seems to be right!

Evan is a new kid I get to know. He’s also a son of a friend of Tom and is completely unreadable. Not like Tom or headmaster. He can be warm like others and a moment later, with no reason, so cold I think I froze! It’s a little scary, I was trying to find what it is, to see if it is a illness and how to get him better and I find out he may be “psychopath”. I asked Tom for cure, he only laughed and say ‘it is not something lethal’ and ‘he won’t die from it’. I’m still worried.

Anyway, he’s the best in telling stories or creating games. And he’s half-Black too.

Lucius has only more and more things to do, but he still find some time for me. We would read together, play with brooms and draw and ‘exchange information’. I always thought it is called gossips through.

Tom is working in the Ministry now and everyone says how talented and amazing and a good person he is and how lucky I am to get such a guardian. As if I didn’t know it!

But I do still miss Mr Potter… Maybe Tom can let me sent him some letter? Maybe…

Today is my little test in manners! Tomorrow is a Christmas and Tom want to bring me over to Mr Black house as I am already a lot at the Malfoys . Evan will be there too! But also that crazy cousin of his… Not Siri, it’s a girl and she’s a little older than Lucius. And absolutely crazy, she makes the teacher tear out their hair out! I’m not sure I’m looking forward to meeting her.

And I got a warning about Mrs Black to never stay alone with her in the room. Not why not to do it. ‘Just don’t do it yet’ Tom said. But first my exam! I don’t want to disappoint them all as they all put so much work in teaching, also my book…. I have to make a do.

So here we go.

_**Tom's pov** _

I made a lot of thinking lately and I just know that if I didn’t meet Severus back then, I would either already be starting a war or staying still at Albania. Nagini likes Severus, would she try not to! , and is highly protective of him. I have no idea from where she took it from, really. Of course, Severus hearing her story, said something about finding a way to help her.

Unnecessary.

I persuaded him that it is a myth through.

Actually, I didn’t lie, there are not many of her kind, not just snake.

Rgiht now, I’m banned from entering as a biased judge. As if! But Abraxas is adamant about being sure first impression is a good one. As it stays with Blacks for long time.

Possible for all eternity.

Evan kid, take him as an example, was, I heard, complaining about having to meet half-blood and how boring it would be. Instead, he has practically glued himself to Severus! I had to kick him out in the evening and only then called in his father to collect him. Else he might have tried to take Severus with him… He said something about packing him! There were no question, only fast nod and escape. I might have overreacted.

A little.

Later, Rosier being a good friend he is, explained that his son has ‘completely fallen in love with my Severus, thinks he is amazing and likes that mind reading thing he did and that he thinks in the way no one else does’. Moreover, he had to confirm as almost everyone if it is true the kid has similar ability to mine. I said yes, but don’t go around telling anyone, it is an important information etc. At least someone his age who is not blood traitor or mudblood… What a great first connections!

Speaking of the blood traitor… How dare he! Becoming his friend only to run away when he understood the damage done to Severus cause of his spawn. Or rather him nearly frozen to death! His letters full of excuses should continue burning. Not that he did take up any invitation and Severus asked about him.

Only once.

And then was disappointed, then understanding in his eyes was painful… As if he was angry at himself for believing in it. If only I wasn’t in Ministry now, getting up quite fast, I would say, I would crucio him good. And he is the great Gryffindor. I’m thinking of oblivating Severus of it… may he would be better.

I hope he passes.

Or no.

I’m lying.

I hope he fails and we can spent Christmas by ourselves. Selfish, but maybe…. I wonder if Abraxas know it when he banned it.

They coming out!

And… Malfoy is smiling, Severus is smiling, he passed…

Merlin, maybe I should make him ill? It would do too.

Or not, we’re staying on New Year home then, they had to give him the gifts, Walburga’s face when her husband does will be priceless.

With this in mind I can smile honestly, if not a little evilly.

**_Sirius' pov_ **

I hate this family.

They are hateful, racists and awful people. They like when people get hurts! How could people like that even exist? They are evil!

I’m not like them. I will never be like them. But how I can help Reg? He’s so naïve, always listening to Mother like it is the instruction in life.

And now they are bringing in their cult leader and his charge and we’re supposed to be nice to them. As if I would be nice to anyone being evil! People liking torturing for breakfast, for sure. I need to find a way to make sure they won’t get close to Reg.

Worse, Bella is coming! She’s a crazy psycho!! Even Andy says so when Bella’s not there and it means something. They are sister after all. Now, how do I make them leave as soon as possible? Wait, it might works…

.

.

.

.

_Next day, evening_

Here they are, the cult leader and his devil’s spawn. Careful. If they notice too soon, they will avoid it and I will be locked in the room for many hours. And Reg alone with our crazy cousins. Fortunately, both Evan and Bella are not here yet. Else it would be harder to pull off.

Of course, the typical greetings, small talk and… the spawn’s eyes on me? Why? Did he notice something?

"Excuse me, Mrs Black, can I talk with Sirius and Regulus before the dinner. I wanted to ask about one of the customs of Blacks. If it is possible…? " he’s asking mother?! Is he crazy as well as evil?? And she’s eyeing him suspiciously, when dad intervened

"Of course, you can, Severus, go on, we will talk about adult’s things, after all. No need to stay bored " he’s thanking them and signaling his going out of the room, when the cult leader says to him

"Don’t get into any trouble, Severus, no hiding in the library. "

This ‘Severus’ looks as insulted that his purpose is being questioned.

"I don’t have to, Tom, if I’m bored, I brought it from your library. "

"What? " escapes my mouth, he dared to say it in front of mother?

"What did you just said? " yes, reaction is here. Poor devil spawn.

"You didn’t have any books on you 10 minutes ago, then where is it? " ask the man, Tom, with a smile.

"Pardon me, but who said I do have it " the hell? Then who if not you? "I’m not good enough Tom to take it with me when you’re looking. Evan is taking care of it. "

He made Evan do his job.

He made THAT Evan broke the tradition and good name of his family? HOW?!

"How dare you mix someone of Black’s blood into your scheme?! " mother anger lvl 2. It’s bad.

"He won’t bring it with him, Madam, it’s already hidden somewhere here. There is no need to pay attention to it. I wished to bring it here so I do not disturbed you unnecessary. It is a book on history of this house and there would be no better occasion to make notes about how it changed from the time it was written and confirms what was right and what was wrong. I’m sorry if I made you upset " He’s absolutely mental! Who in the right mind would say it to mother!? In polite way too. Is there a school for evil beings teaching it?

"Then I think if it is educational purpose, it should be no problem. Didn’t you ask me for permission two weeks ago? I didn’t think at the time you would choose Christmas. You have my blessing, just don’t disturbed other quests, you understand? " fast smile, thanks and he was on his way out. Mother gaped as if seeing him for the first time and the lord of bigots barely not laughing openly. Father chuckled a little.

Either he is evil incantation or the hero of the light then…

How to know through?

Auć!!

I’m stopped by ‘a human wall’ and we’re both on the floor.

"What’s your problem? "

"Don’t do it. "

"What? "

"The chocolate. " how does he…?

"I don’t know what you’re talking about " Regulus seems puzzled too. No, if he hears it, he will tell mother eventually, he let things slips easily!

"You’re wanting to use it to hurt Tom, I don’t care if you put it on me, attack me if you had to, I will find a way to give you back for it, but leave Tom alone. For your own safety too. He’s not forgiving person and he knows too. "

" How would he? "

"Cause we’re have that mind ability. He knows everything. It’s Tom " what is he talking about? "it can let you read other people, if mastered, you can read ones’ memories, not only emotion, Tom will know you did it and take revenge. I know cause he did it 3 months ago, some lady tried to kiss him and he cursed her a lot. She won’t be pretty for a long of time. Don’t. "

"You can read a fucking mind? And he too? " I can’t believe it, how to fought such a monster?

" I can only feel intention for now, emotion and sometimes presence. Not much, not like Tom. "

"Then..? Then how you know? "

"I can think, you know? Evan had similar emotion when he did prank me. Adding two to two is no challenge " he’s an evil genius too…

"Then why didn’t you just point me out as all those pureblood? "

He looks confused now… why?

" I’m not.v

"What? "

"He? " oh, Reg join this little spectacle, what a joy.

"I’m half-blood, my father is a muggle, Tom took me in half a year ago. "

"You’re a half-blood? A true half-blood? But you know father! And you’re behaving like one! " I can’t believe it. It is just impossible.

"I was learning I, you know!? " his accent change, Merlin, he may be saying a true… "I just passed the test yesterday and…" oh, he realized his change of accept and clear his throat. Oh. "And your father is a friend of Tom, who I met after I start living with him. "

"Then you hate muggles? Like them? " he’s silent now, I knew it!

"I think I hate at least one of them… Others I don’t know. I knew only bad muggles. "

"Does he even deserve it, that muggle? " of course not, what they can do to deserve it from a wizard anyway?

"Tom said he should got a life in Azkaban, if he were alive. He… He was my father… and he was a mean person. Miss magic mind nurse said that what he was doing was extremely bad and I should have never had to suffer it " what is he talking about "Da was… always calling me freak… beating ma.. and me sometimes… I thought that I was just a very bad boy and deserved it, but it was not a reason. He hated us cause we were magical and he was not… " oh. What did I just…? "so he killed ma one day, tried to kill me and somehow got dead himself and Mr Potter – a deep breath. Why do I even asked… " took me out of the house, put me in hospital, Tom come and saw I have this ability too, got curious and start visiting me and now I am his ward " the last words were said with a lot of happiness. A lot. He’s not evil. He’s like me, was like me, just worse "Don’t pity me, I have Tom now, and Lucius and Evan and even Mr Malfoy and Mr Black likes me and I … " he didn’t finished as Evan come.

"SEVERUS!! Finally I’m here! What, you met Siri already? " don’t look at me now, I know I’m crying " come on, let’s explore the house, join when you can, Reg, Siri. "

This way Severus was practically dragged out of here.

"Siri? "

"It’s fine Reg, come on. We can’t let mother see it, don’t we? "

Nod is all I got and we have gone to my room to take care of our tears. Black do not cry. And he doesn’t want pity. I don’t like him, I will be honest, probably will never like, but I can tolerate him. He’s plenty times better than Bella anyway!

The rest of the evening, outside of fancy dinner, was spent on exploring, taking notes and making up stories.

Yes, Evan can make up stories even more terrifying than Bella or Mother.

Note: never let him around Reg alone!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, seriously, next one will be time skip.
> 
> And I'm sorry for Mr Potter, but it had to be done. being in the middle is not an option.  
> PS: Tom is angry cause if hurt Severus, he wanted to cut him out slowly in the beginning. It would work, eventually.  
> That's why letter got burned. 
> 
> To the next one!


	16. the Bridge to war

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I lie to you, to myself more.  
> Before test, I was not too coherent, I'm not much more now in fact, and so I need to add this little 'bridge'. I thought seriously if I should put it in the chapter of Hogwats' times or maybe alone.  
> My choice is clear now!

**_Fleamont’s pov_ **

Finally, our nightmare was finished. Mostly. It took nearly 2 years of hard fight, but Euphemia is in acceptable state now. Healers thinks the worst is already behind us, but if I didn’t go with her to the St. Mungo to have a talk with one of them, who has conveniently taken care of Severus, the situation would be worse. The beginning of Dragon Pox are not too visible. In most of the cases it is only confirmed after the illness turns for worse and there is little to no chance of recovery. With even the best potions and healers, it usually turns out into keeping the patient alive as long as possible and in the least pain as possible.

We never really told James how serious it was or let the news get to the prophet. They would already condoned her life and in fact future death and I couldn’t stand the sole thought. That moment I retreated my application for guardianship too. Euphemia had better chance than most, but it was still unknown. I couldn’t risk getting it and not being able to take care of him. James could be distracted and Euphy didn’t get that bad so he wouldn't recognize the signs or danger.

I couldn’t say so about Severus.

His amazing gift was a curse in that moment. I thought for a long time about visiting him, but… him seeing my force smile? He would know something is wrong. He would be able to feel my fear, anger, hope and despair. It would broke his already so delicate psyches and balance...

Would it hurt him more than me not coming?

Yes, I’m sure of it, being unable to help is the worst one can feel along with guilt. For him, such a sensitive child, it would do the damage which would be impossible to fix. The old injuries are still there, in his mind and heart. He needs time, peace, care… If I could lie to him, as any other child, I would not have to go so far as avoiding him. If I had other option…

So I hoped that letters saying I had a family emergency and talking about the mundane things for distraction would be enough to at least not break completely our bond.

But life is not fair in such a moment.

I think he never get any, I suppose I could thank Riddle for it . Only after the first eight months when the promises were good, I decided to get to the bottom to the problem. I made sure to sent many letters, few directly by some random people.

And I got a reply.

He forgave me like nothing happen, as if I didn’t left him on his own for such a long time, and said that when whatever this problem was solved, I can always tell him. I wonder if he suspects. I said once that the only possibility I would go on my word would be if my family was in danger… and his memory is excellent. I hope he’s not thinking deep into it.

Half truth should be safe.

Possible.

Three months ago I did apply again to visit. And won the case, I suppose I might have angered Riddle a lot, but I said it once, I’m not giving up on Severus so easily. Gryffindors’ stubbornness, I guess? Good point is that he was slightly ( a lot ) less angry at the end of the case after finding out my reason. Actually he said that I have chosen properly this time and he won’t try to make me regret it.

Yet.

Yes, for sure he cares a little. We both does, in our own way. But this strange feeling from the first time I met Riddle is still there. I have no illusion that he wished to destroy me, but is playing his cards carefully. He’s the most cunning person after Headmaster which I have ever met, so I may not even see the blow.

In around two and half a year they will all meet in Hogwart, Severus, My James, Black’s heir… and many others.

Sorting, houses, loyalties…

And soon, the war might start.

I hope we will avoid it, but with Albus doing his absolute best, it is clear that until he’s alive, Riddle won’t become a Minister. Through his words already has practically as much voice as mine in Ministry and I inherited it, he earn it in two years, without any farther backing from Malfoys. Bidding time, indeed. Unfortunately, his patience can last only so much.

Every year there are more and more disappearance from both muggle’s world and ours. Albus thinks that they, the Death Eaters, are responsible, that Tom Riddle is preparing, planning and searching for weakness. I can’t say I disagree, I’m sure he has something to do with this all, but the feeling in my guts is telling me: _it could have been worse._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My shortest chapter!
> 
> I need to fix the date in previous chapter, it was supposed to be 3 months, not 6. Sorry!


	17. Going to Hogwart!

**_Sev’s pov_ **

In a week is the day I will finally become a proper wizard! Or rather I will start a way to prove to the world I am one. And also my ‘big trouble plan’ to set in motion.

Many things happened in the last years. Outside of politics, I was learning a lot, spending time with Evan, listening to Lucius’ about Hogwart and of course having as much as possible time with Tom! He’s my hero after all. All I had, I wouldn’t if it wasn’t for him. I wonder, whether he ever regretted his decision about taking me in.

Especially after I blew up a lab.

Three times.

Tom was angry after the first one, like not just annoyed like usually after some idiots makes a mistake. He was angry.

And I was banned from entering the lab by it being magically sealed after it has happened. It seems being 11 years old and experimenting is a bad idea. But I was so close! And I needed to complete it before I go to Hogwart. Tom helped me a lot with the theory, but with overwork I didn’t want to add to it.

Plus, I wanted it to be my work. By my hand and mind. So I only ask for rough theory and make notes. No longer I have any trouble with quills. Practice makes wonders, I always say to Evan, but he prefers using others to get his job done. Says it’s funny. Personally, I don’t see the point of it, what pleasure can give you something you didn’t achieve yourself? Tom agree with me, too. Manipulation are exception for him and count as achievement itself through.

So I worked out a theory, start brewing without being allowed to – I thought I can get away with it, you know, as long as you’re not caught, it is fiiine – but I messed up, was caught and banned and grounded and got 3 hours lecture about not killing myself and not letting being seen breaking rules… I made notes of it too. May be useful.

Then I improved the receipt, makes simulation, read more books to be sure it will work and ask Lucius to give me access to the lab or I will reveal to Cissy that he is the one, who destroyed her favorite hairclip. He has agreed quite fast. There is nothing more effective than proper bargain in Slytherin’s style. Mr Malfoy said once that I learned this one from Tom and he should be careful with me as I’m a cunning, walking trouble. Such a complement, I needed to have them sign a note that it was said to prove it to Evan!

So I have persuaded Lucius and start my experiment number two.

And it has blew up again, not half as strong as before, but something was lacking.

We ( Lucius and me) manage to cover it up with the help of their house elf. Barely in time for Mr Malfoy and Tom come in. Fortunately, we did (Lucius did) on the side a show which could be counted as evidence that we were there talking together. It’s so good to have a thinking and not so lazy friend!

Next place I did screw it up at was Evan’s house. Fortunately, it didn’t exavtly blew up, just worked partly incorrect. So we (I) started thinking up the way to improve it. We didn’t make it in time to try again when Tom come for me and said I didn’t inform him that Mr Rosier was not home. Ups.

But I was forgiven.

Even praise for my accomplishment.

Personally, I think Tom was annoyed he forgot it himself. Evan mentioned that it was on Tom’s behalf his parents were in America at the moment.

Commenting is a mistake only idiot would make through, so we have stayed silent and nod along with apologies.

I was suppose to stay with Black’s in friday, as Tom has some business trip and I’m too young to go with him. Something about werewolves… it is better I stayed then, they may be humans, but I don’t want to be eaten, thank you very much. Ot bitten. Maybe someone can find a cure soon.

I hope so.

So now is the high times for a bribes. It is dangerous game as long as it concern Black, who does not like you. Regulus is my friend, we’re playing a lot together, but Sirius… He tolerates me, only so-so. But there is something even he would sell his soul for…

“ Black, Black, Black, want a way to make your mother silent for a day? “ yes, he’s curious now.

“What in exchange? I know you, Severus, nothing for free. AND use my name, you know I hate the surname!!” yea, I needed your attention before I gave a bait, didn’t I?

“You’re hurting my heart with your accusation!” taking a pose ‘how could you?’ with innocent expression which is clearly mocking, okey, okey, no more riling him up. He’s angry now and it is time for business.

“ There is a new gossip about the daughter of Greengrass wanting to marry a muggle-born, what’s worse she is a daughter of your mother’s best friend, the one she always share info with, you know which one? “ he nods and I continue “ then you know when your mother dearest hears it, she will go crazy about not only the fact, but also not being informed and she will for sure go there to clarify. Then you can go even to muggle’s area, as your father has work now with Tom, and I can use your lab for a moment” the best solution with Sirius is to talk more like him. Otherwise, if I talk like Lucius taught me to talk among purebloods like Walburga Black or meetings not only between friends, he won’t listen at all out of spite.

“You already told me, why would I let you?” want to outslytherin me? I know you won’t Siri, not a possibility~

“You will, this kind of using, if you don’t, is something your beloved cousin or mother would do, so you won’t do it and you will let me. In fact you would let me just to spite your mother that someone of my blood touch her family’s lab which she uses sometimes, but I hate being unfair in deals and…” well, how to say I pity you while not saying so? “ You deserve some free time from her, not only when you’re ‘visiting me’ or I’m taking you two to Lucius, so you can get some rest for your ears. She’s focusing her ire on me when I’m here, but she’s still awful enough to want to be free for a moment, right?” he’s not responding, just looks sad and involuntary I add “ I know how it is not to want to believe your parents think worse of you, don’t mind her, you’re you and she’s she. You’re not that weak to give in to her, aren’t you?”

After hearing this, his eyes lit up with determination. It was the first time and probably the last I will ever said what I really think about this situation. My words and mistakes would hurt Tom’s reputation, not just mine, so I have to be careful. But what she won’t know, won’t hurt anyone, would it?

We’re both smiling with mischief and ‘by accident’ I let this information slip up during conversation when the enemy was close enough to hear, not enough to know it is a trap.

Perfect.

And so she does what Black usually does, threaten us to behave and is gone.

Sirius has gone off to explore.

And Reg, waking up and coming down, after explanation comes to observe my work. I explained the way it will work and ask not to tell Sirius as it is suppose to be a surprise . And I add I make a promise to visit headmaster’s office few years ago on the first day in Hogwart, so it is necessary and that I will tell him what the phoenix was like.

This time there was no explosion and everything worked as it should.

Perfect.

Quick clearing, getting everything in order and hiding fruits of my hard work, we’re going back to the salon and are playing explosive snaps until mother dearest Black is back. Of course I made sure she didn’t spot the game. Reg don’t need trouble from her, he’s not that resilient as Siri.

I go back home with a smile. I think Tom is suspecting something, but let it slide.

The rule was not to get caught and I didn’t.

One more week until the project is finished.

And only one little details to do.

**_Evan’s pov_ **

Evan didn’t like it all.

Sitting in the compartment with the elite, but without Sev.

It’s so boring… but…

*flashback*

“See? There is our compartment, come on, Severus! We need to reserve a place.”

“Go alone” it took me a moment to actually process it.

“What? Why?” what would be the reason he refused? There is only Lucius, Narcissy, that idiots Mulciber and Avery and..

Oh.

Bella, right, fucking Bella is there.

Of course he don’t want to be near her, crazy she is. And hates him too. I heard it is because she’s infuriated with Mr Riddle, his guardian and despise him who had more attention than she.

Worms is worth more attention than she, she’s engaged to Lestrange! And go after someone else.

But the fact stays, she won’t leave him alone.

“Then let’s go find another compare..”

“No, you go in and I’m finding one. If I ‘prevent you’ from taking a right place, she will have even better excuse to take it all out on me, thank you very much, I can do without it. Have fun!” and without a word, a place for argument or anything he turned and left…

*end of the flashback*

Cissy and Lucius are worried about him.

Bella so self-satisfied. Stupid idiot.

Those two don’t know him. Mr Riddle made sure that Severus stayed close to him and didn’t believe Mr Mulciber Sr or Mr Avery won’t treat him badly for blood. And his attention.

They are not intelligent enough to see his value, so they only saw him few times with Mr Riddle.

Theirs son never so far.

Better this way.

Anyway, I’m bored, S-E-V-E-R-U-S.

**_Lily’s pov_ **

I am going to school of magic!

Finally, I know it from the time I was six, no one remembered why but this person we contected for some reason said we might have been obliviated. He said that Mr or Miss might have been afraid of breaking Statue of Secrecy and the punishment behind it. He also said that dementors and Azkaban are scary and anyone would try to avoid even one day there. So mom and dad never press it anymore.

I got a few books back then and was reading about history of wizards ever since! Unfortunately, I couldn’t yet buy any with proper charms and curses and similar things as no one around is a wizard and it would be dangerous.

Soon after my eleven birthday, nice Miss, who is a professor come and explained the rest to my parents and me. We were at Diagon Alley and it is amazing, so colourful and beautiful and magical!

Tuney is a little jealous about it all. I think she would want to come with me too.

I wish she could. I’m scared a little about whether I will fit in or not.

What if they won’t like me?

Now, I need to find a compartment.. there are a few nice looking girls there, I will say hello!

“Hi, is it free?” was it always so hard to talk?

“Yes, sure, come in, I’m Alice Fortescue”

“Mary Macdonald, nice to meet you!”

“Lily Evans, are you also first years?”

“I’m seconds and Mary, I think is first, you too? Are you a muggleborn?”

“Yhm, is it bad?” no one said anything like this. What if it matters?

“No, not at all, Mary is too, itonly mean I won’t know what you two may talk about, nothing else” uff, I was scared for a moment, so I smile. It means a lot to me, these words “ If you have any question about teachers, houses and wizarding word, I can fill you in. We were talking about it actually.”

“Really, thank you so much!” I think I will enjoy this school even more now, so much to explore! I’m so lucky I found friends already.

“So, there are four houses, Gryffindor, where I am , Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin. You should avoid Slytherin cause many snobs there think bad about Muggleborn, so just in case, chose on of the first three”

What?

“Then it is bad?”

“No, of course not, but there are always people who think themselves better for no reason and most are in Slytherin, so just don’t go there.”

“Okey, what about the others? Your house? “

“so Gryffindor is............."

And so we were talking about houses, subjects, teachers and so on until we arrive to Hogwart.

And so my journey has started.

_At the same time that Lily has found the girls, two boys found the compartment with the black-haired boy reading a book inside it._

_And so the unavoidable encounter has happened._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for advise, comment, kudos and reading!  
> Hope this one is not too bad.  
> Any new advise I will gladly take <3


	18. Confrontation on the train

**James' pov**

Everywhere was full.

Literally all, if we don’t want to sit with obvious psycho’s like Black girl' and snobs like Malfoy.

There should be some more place anywhere, the train is already moving.

We, I mean both me and Sirius, he’s an alright mate! Five minutes and it is obvious he’s great! I bet he will be in Gryffindor like me! There is no better house after all.

Finally we found one, but… the person sitting inside… from where I know him?

“Severus, not with all those snobs?” Sirius know him?

“You’re friends?”

“What, no, blimey, rather...”

“Acquaintances without reasons at best” – he didn’t even let Sirius end the sentence! As if I wanted to hear it from him! Small nod means that is true. Then if they don’t want to kill each others, he can be good enough to sit here, right?

“Is it free? Everywhere else is full” he’s eyeing us suspiciously!! Just look at him, that scowl, look and the way he talks! He must be one of those slimy snakes!!

“Yes, sure, just don’t bother me, I want to finish the book before we’re there”

“You’re so boring, who would want to read now? “ he’s annoying and kind of familiar…

“No, thank you, I chose the book, manners means you should, I don’t know, properly introduced yourself, but what I know. Maybe you will start, Siri?”

“Siri? Who let you call him that?” anger is rising, how dare he gave my friend a nickname! Who does he think he is?

“Well, his cousin is my friend and is calling him that, I just catch this from him. You mind? If so, better tell me yourself, _**Siri**_ ” one step to hex him. Just one.

“James, it’s fine, my family calls me that and his guardian is friend of my father, so we know each other. Plus, he would not use something so simple as an insult, believe me, the few times he did, my mother didn’t catch it”

“He insulted you!?”

“NO, my mother”

“What a git, someone should teach you manners!” and he start to laugh. What?

“Have you ever met his mom?” I shake my head, what does it have to do with it? “ Then you won’t get, really. Seriously, if you want to introduced yourself, do it and I will respond in the same. Not, take care of each others for all I care.” He Just Brush Me Off.

“James Potter” – Many people know about my family, my father is a great auror after all and a Gryffindor and I am proud to be his son.

His reaction is not typical. Not responding, getting quiet, nothing at all. He starts to ignore me and Sirius completely. What is his problem? I try to make him give me his name, but he’s still ignoring me! No one ever ignored me or what I say!

So I ignored him back.

And for some reason I feel like I just lost, but I try not to think about it. WE start talking and getting excited. We’re going to Hogwart after all!

“Where are you going if you have a choice?” I know the answer for it from heart!

“Gryffindor where dwell the brave at heart like my dad!” the best house out there! The reaction of black hair boy is annoying, he’s laughing at me!? “I wouldn’t say it is quality of the only that house”

“You’re saying as if you know! Then where would you be, a Slytherin?”

“What if I will be? If I want to be?”

“So you’re a dark wizard in the making! I would rather leave then be in Slytherin!!” I will shout it as loud as possible. Truth should be told when you’re confident in it.

“All my family was in Slytherin” said suddenly quietly Sirius.

“Blimey, I thought you were alright”

“Maybe I will break tradition?” I bright up at the world and the slimy dark wizard snake pale. Ha! See? I was right!!

“You sure? Be careful if you do… “ What? He’s threatening Sirius!? I will… hex him? Yea, I will hex him!

_If he didn’t focused on his anger he would see Sirius nodding…._

“Well, besides maybe Ravenclaw? It is better to be brainy rather than brawly after all. “

WHAT. DID. HE . JUST.INSULTED.GRYFFINDOR?

****

**_Me:_ **

_At that moment Sirius feeling the tension growing make up his choice._

_Either he can just take Potter’s heir out and be on the worse side of him._

_Or he could just insult Severus and be on a way to cut out his family._

_Hesitation was only momentary._

“Then where will you be if you are neither?” Ha! Sirius agree with me! Being Black means nothing, he’s Gryffindor through and through!

That slimy boy just glare at us and go out. COWARD. Whoever you are.

**_Me:_ **

_The rest of the journey Severus spent in some other compartment, it was loud, messy but at least he didn’t attack the idiots… He wanted to get into trouble first day, not be expelled after all. So with this, he tune down everyone and continued reading._

_There was a visit to earn yet._

**_Sev’s_ ** **_pov_ **

After they got there, half-giant , Tom said his name was Hagrid, took them to the boats. For a moment he was looking funny at me. I mean, he was confused, but also felt disdain and disgust toward me… And I never even meet him before. You’re kidding, how one can makes so many enemies in the road alone?

Soon more people will hate me soon.

Lucius won’t talk to me, Bella might kill me, Cissy… even worse. Not to mention other Slytherins…

And Gryffindor won’t forgive it for a few years.

But I promised and check it out. NO first year student ever got to go to headmaster in the opening feast. So it must be something big or I won’t make it. Not keeping my word makes me unreliable and I hate this.

I hate not being good enough.

We were met by professor of transfiguration, Deputy and one of the most demanding teacher in Hogwart: Minerva McGonagall. Tom said she’s quite strong.

She is indifferent toward us and at the same time cares. I can feel it. It calms me down as now I need to cut down legilemency.

Deep breath. Another one... And another.....

It’s off. As long as headmaster is around I’m not to have it on.

I can already off it when I’m around people I like instinctively, but here I am scared a little. Not knowing intention always unnerved me. Only Tom don’t make me feel so.

But Tom is special.

People are being called and… hat decide when we go? How?

Wait, maybe…? It is legilemens like me and Tom and Headmaster?

It would be fitting. And… funny. No wonder Tom didn’t let anyone tell me! Talking, mind reading and so old hat is a perfect for observation!! I would kidnap it instead! Maybe they have some research on it?

Another name:

“Sirius Black” and not too much time passed when if shout “Gryffindor”

Damn that idiot, complete moron, not there!! Reg will pay for it the most… poor kid, looking up to the older brother who will be outed now by family.

Bella’s fury can be felt from here.

Lily Evans and Mary MacDonald both has gone to Gryfindor.

Mulciber and Evan obviously Slytherin.

Potter of course is a Gryff.

And now is my turn. Please, Slytherin, I don’t want to disappoint Tom…

So I sit and wait for its voice

**_“You’re smart, cunning and resourceful, has a great ambition but also care for the others. “_ **

_Please, let me join Slytherin_

**_Hmm, house of Salazar? Yes, it would definitely help you with your ambision, but they do not care as much as you? What about Gryf…_ **

_NO, NO, please, I want to be in the house which Tom, which my ma was._

**_Are you sure, young one? You don’t have a heart to demand from people in need. Only from betters_ ** _**and equals and it is not good for Slytherin students. Maybe Ravenclaw then? You're more than enough bright.**_

_PLEASE, I beg you! Or I will find a way to put you on fire!!_

**_Fine, maybe you’re more like them then I initially thought, better be SLYTHERIN_ **

Thanks Merlin, I persuade it.

So I smile and go to sit next to Evan, close to Lucius.

We’re waiting until the end of the sorting, hearing a speech and are told ‘to tuck in’.

Now, visit time. After making sure, every person in the room ate at least a little, I use the spell.

Fun part now.

**_Albus’ pov_ **

So many new children are here.

Times gets unsettling, the new law Tom is trying to get through…

Special additional class for muggleborns to learn about culture. _Additional exam, which failing means repeating a year…_

I can’t believe how many families, not in liege with Tom, is agreeing with it.

Horrible thing, first step to gain control. Showing them they are not equals.

Not in words or even direct action, but in law.

Minerva is sharing my perspective that it is a challenge for me. Showing that he can already interfere a little with school when it is suppose to be safe.

And the case with this poor Lupin’s boy. He didn’t deserve such a cruel fate, being bitten when 5 years old. That’s why he got an invitation, we have to see if boys and girls like him could be helped or at least given chance.

The joy of the evening is the sorting of Sirius Black. Who could have guess that the Black would be sorted into a Gryffindor? I have a high hopes for the boy. This can change the balance on our side.

**_And that child…_ **

I didn’t see him from that first and only times we talked. Hearing only scraps of how he is doing. Fleamont, with the illness of poor Euphemia, had to break a contact for some time and take care of her. In the end, they reconciled, but never so strong anymore. He grow fond of other people and while didn’t reject Fleamont, he was always wary of him from that point on. Afraid to give him his complete trust once again.

Poor Fleamont, he feels guilty of hurting the boy’s feelings.

I know I’m observing him now.

And he knows it too. So when he takes out his wand and mutter a spell, I’m wary. No one casts the spell on the feast. No one ever thought about it while in the first year.

And all students’ and teachers’ gasp in surprise. Everyone's hair is green with the mix of silver. Not even one person is excused from it, none outside the culprit. As if to say that it was him.

Ah.

_That promise._

To thought he remembered it. Interesting child, indeed.

“Attention!!” I shout ” Please calm down, Minerva, could you make sure they all stay calm? I think I have to talk to Mr Snape and get to know more about this little spectacle, I believe” I shouldn’t smile while saying so, but… to do it all, for eleven years old who is just starting his education, is impressive feat. That is if Tom didn’t make him do it, but this, we will see.

For now, it is high times to congratulate young Mr Snape for his creativity and give an adequate punishment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yey, another one, I like it when I enjoy writing. It feels right ^^
> 
> there were some quotes from Deathly hallows, the words don't belong to me, the same characters, names, universe.  
> Thought it is better to clarify it.
> 
> Enjoy!!


	19. Headmaster's office

_**Sev's pov** _

The office of the headmaster was quite a strange room. Full of many colorful things. Nagini would eat some of them by accident, I sure, while thinking them edible! She could be quite a foolish snake. I don’t really like to talk about her, because Tom understand her and want me to do so as well. They are teaching me. Tom said that he checked out my genealogical tree and one of my ancestor was a palsemouth. Of course, Tom decided that if it is a case, I should be able to do it too.

First time I am sure that Tom is wrong.

In the end, in pain, through many repeating, exercising and mistakes I am capable of saying ’Help’ ‘Open’ ( for some reason) and ‘Come’ and ‘Stop’.

But it took him 2 year every other day to teach me 4 words!! I learned Latin in one… But Tom don’t want to hear that having some latent, extremely weak connection which barely count as more than ‘maybe in another life he could’ is not enough and I am to continue the lessons in private and never tell anyone.

I don’t know his motivation in forcing something, I for sure don’t know, into me.

I will try anyway even if it is useless.

No more about Nagini, she remind me of this depressing topic. Disappointment. Now I will meet phoenix! A Real one!!

But he is nowhere in sight…

So I wait. Then through the door come in Headmaster and professor Slughorn. He’s white and angry. Automatically I turn on legilemency. And I’m too scared now to turn it off.

“I can’t believe it, Albus! Tom was such a sweet, polite boy! And him!? First day and already mischief! Unbelievable!! What’s worse Tom has some important meeting and can’t come right now…”

Tom will come?

Oh. I am going to be educate at home, then.

Bye, Hogwart…

Bye, Evan…

I will never stopped being grounded…

“Calm down, Horace. Actually, I already knew that this will happen 4 years ago” Head of Slytherin House was puzzled, seemingly not understanding “ I have visited him just before him becoming officially Tom’s ward. You remember Eileen, right?”

“Yes, of course, horrible events, so young, so poor, killed by his own husband with knife, terrible death. She was from such a good family…” He’s talking about ma. MY mom… With every word I feel my blood getting colder and being drained away from my face, everything around me is starting to be blur, not clear, dark…

I’m drowning again. In memories, in pain, in despair.

Blood, so much blood…

It hurts, why I… it was so long from the last time… I… had an…

I can’t breath.

CALM DOWN.

You have Tom now. It is NEVER coming back.

_Unless he leaves you…_

No, it won’t…. Never again.

_You couldn’t help ma. You couldn’t stop da. You’re a murderer…_

I found meaning, I found a reason to live!!

**_Tom._ **

**_Lucius._ **

**_Evan._ **

**_Mr Potter…_ **

_Breath. In… out… In…out…._

I can hear again, headmaster is saying something, trying to calm me down, no idea what…

In, out….

Occlumency shield is being built again, so hurry up and get these memories out, clear the feelings , let it all go…

Better.

Breath.

I can see and feel my body completely again.

“Headmaster?” he looks worried and before I can ask he turn and tells my head of house:

“No need for Poppy anymore, Horace, come back. Mr Snape, Severus, are you better, child?”

Hm? I am, aren’t I? But I can’t force myself to speak so I nod. I need some time for it all to get into order. My occlumency is better than my legilemency, but it is harder to built, easier to keep – opposite of mind reading arts.

But it is not mind reading, isn’t it?

Think about potion ingredients, think about book from before, think about… his strange collection of socks ?

“I am fine, headmaster” now it is a true, seeing those socks shocked me so much, with their colors, that everything else stopped mattering. I don’t notice him turning away. How could anyone even buy such a monstrous things, not to mention put on?!

****

**_Albus’ pov_ **

He seems stable.

For now I will leave Severus to calm himself, I need to talk some sense into Horace first.

“Horace, this boy is Severus Snape, son of Eileen Snape nee Prince and Tobias Snape, taken in as a ward by Tom. Can I leave in your hand that the incident will be talked about as little as possible? His healer says he barely has any attacks now, but… as you could see, they are worse than when he was a child. He is natural in mind arts, Horace, so when he was younger, he occluded nearly constantly. I heard that thanks to Tom he started to open a little and overcome most of the trauma, but… you understand that not all can be healed?” Horace is understandable horrified. He was shocked and grieved for his former student back then too. Of course he remembers.

“But… he… the child from the article?”

“Yes, in fact when I check up on him many years back then, I told him I have a phoenix as an familiar, so he promised to come see him the first day he will be in Hogwart. I told him only if he does something bad, he will be sent to me, so he did it, Horace. Fleamont says Severus always took his words seriously, now we have a proof.” Now I smile at my friend. He’s getting himself together too. ” Now let’s get to know how he did it” Still smiling, I lead Horace back near my desk and the sitting boy staring at my collection of sockets!! He is visible impressed by it, it seems. Personally, I’m proud of it.

“So, Severus” his attention finally snaps to me “ Can you tell us how you did it? I know the reason already. Then I will call Fawkes” he’s still not completely calm, we need to go slowly.

“Yessir, I have the house elf add a potion to food and use a spell to activate it” potion activated by special command? There are not many of them and not nearly simple enough to be brewed by to-be-first year. Tom must have helped him. But..

“I don’t know a potion of this type which only does change a hair color, what about you, Horace?”

“Never heard of one, Albus, they are complicated potions, to have one change something easily changeable by spell, no one would put so much effort to create it!” he’s definitely surprised. Well, looks like Tom is coming. Let’s see what he have to say.

The fire becomes green and the figure I didn’t want to ever have again here emerge from there. He’s a little surprised and… worried?

“Good evening, Headmaster, professor Slughorn, did something hap…” he trailed the moment he saw Severus, whose face was now all red as if caught doing something embarrassing.

“Tom, pleased to see you, my boy, but you shouldn’t create a potions for pranks, it is beneath you.” Horace didn’t wait a moment then. But instead of charming explanation and ‘innocent’ apologies his eyes got wider and Severus sinks even more into the chair, not looking at his guardian.

“Horace, I can assure you that I wouldn’t create a potion for prank as I had neither time nor appreciate doing things of this caliber for someone for fun. Can someone explain to me what I am here for? “ _impatient and worried and angry_. Interesting.

“Well, Tom, your charge has given all the teachers and students potion via a house elf and by linking it with a charm, it changed everyone’s hair to green with silver. We would like to know the receipt as like you can see, it is quite difficult to reverse a potion with spells and only me and Minerva can do it. Unfortunately, there are too many students to do it before tomorrow.”

“So if you kindly gave it to me, I would know what was used and find a reverse fast. Of course if you did also a counter, as I’m sure you did, it will take even less time” says Horace with a smile. But Tom does not smile, just biting his lips and narrowing his eyes a little.

“Professor, I can’t, because I didn’t create it” and before Horace can deny “ Severus, is this the same potion which blew up the lab 3 months ago?”

Impossible.

But the boy does not deny, just hide even more.

“Let me guess, you tried it at the Malfoys too instead of ‘tea’ and then when you were alone in Evan’s house… and where did you finally get it right? Was there more destroyed labs I don’t know about?” Severus answer quietly after a moment in a whisper:

“Black’s. But I didn’t get caught!”

“ Yes, the talk number two, remind me the first one?”

“Not experimenting alone as I can blow myself easily and die? I’m sorry…”

Tom smiles, not warmly through. Voice a little low and clearly dangerous.

“Grounded. No lab. No potion. No visiting anyone or vice without me. Until farther notice. And whatever you get from here too. I suppose he had some silly reasons to do it if he didn’t… “ he’s trailing, did you remember too, Tom? I don’t really want to interrupt you now “ To see a bird, Severus? Or that promise to headmaster? Ah, I forgot sometimes you’re way too stubborn. I’m sorry for him professor, please punish him as you see fit.”

“He made it? Tom, don’t even joke! He’s eleven!”

Now Tom is smiling proudly, as he was never angry, not at the prank anyway.

“Oh, he can professor, he can already brew 3rd year potion on his own, I supervise, of course, the accident happened when I couldn’t and he get into the lab on his own. I’m not foolish enough to believe he won’t try something from OWL year, if I let him be. He has even altered a few receipt, I made sure to take it to the few potion masters I knew of and they said he’s right and a little genius, my Severus, and already put themselves in line if he will search for a master to get mastery. That doesn’t excuse him from punishment, obviously”

“Impressive… if you say so, Tom, then I had to believe it… Can I ask him a few question about its working mechanism?”

Tom smiled and made a gesture of ‘go ahead’. Horace has start questioning him and we, being left alone, started a staring match. I know why you said it all. You’re showing me what you won and what I lost. I won’t deny your affection for the child, but it shouldn’t be conditional.

But can you do it selflessly?

It was another ten minutes of this useless fight.

“Amazing, Albus, just amazing. He could easily join my 3rd year in the lessons!” the reaction for compliment were blushing. And a quick look at smiling Tom to confirm he’s not angry. He stopped reaching for our mind as well.

“Is there something else I have to know about? I’m sure Severus can give you a receipt and I’m not needed for his punishment, right?”

“Of course, my boy, you can go, I will gladly take your young charge to his common room while asking a few more question... “ Tom nods to me and Horace and come closer to _hug?_ Severus. Then he disappear in a flames once again… “I wish to know more about this genius potion of yours. How long did you work on it?

“One year, sir”

“You spent one year on a prank?”

“No sir, I spent one year on keeping my promise, sir. And I got theory from Tom first, through it was under a mask of a lessons. He knows I like to know, sir” quick glance at the place he disappear “ Just understanding it and doing simulation and reading all the book needed took 9 months. If Tom knew I will try to experiment, he wouldn’t let me as I’m too young to do it myself and it was supposed to be my work, sir. So I kept it down. I often read anyway”

Now, now, times to makes some conclusion I think. Before we forgot the reward.

“Severus” the kid froze, probably remembered he’s going to be punished “Let me introduced you to Fawkes first, as promised” and so the phoenix, my friend and familiar showed itself. Severus is fascinated by it, completely lost in its appearance and warm. I know he does, phoenix are the creature of light, stability, love… I got many question about my familiar.

And sorting hat.

After this little meeting, half hours later Horace, who left in the beginning to create antidote ( child had it figured too, Horace said: “So similar to his guardian, indeed” ) already completed it and gave Minerva to distribute along with explanation of child’s genius. She was not happy, not at all, until she heard I told him 4,5 years ago that it is a way to meet Fawkes and he just wanted to keep his words. For Gryffindor, honor is important, so this sooth her a little. Moreover I told her in secrecy from hat that the first choice for him was Gryffindor. She blinked at me and ask “why, then, he’s not my student, but Horace?”. Explaining about his mother and guardian placement being a factor and friend being in Slytherin was sufficient.

More so she was angry at me for giving child stupid idea’s. Such a lioness, Minerva is. She even volunteered to take him to Slytherin common room as Horace is not responsible when excited… I agree here. Better to be careful of stray Gryffindors or Slytherins for some time. Especially older ones.

Let’s hope that all year won’t be so flashy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okeeeey, I might have go overboard with some, hope you won't eat me alive for them.
> 
> And yes, I'm nervous and in mood for writing, so another one today.  
> If you think pani attack is badly describe, you're welcomed to say so, never saw one and hope to never see.  
> Enjoy! 
> 
> BTW remember that it is from perspective, perspective is always biased. Even mine. Da.
> 
> Ps: he stopped Horace going for Poppy cause she needed to be informed specifically of all that has happened, not some few details as Horace knew or got to know. Her anger and fear would do no good to a child capable of seeing it in a already big distress. There won't be shown, this scene, but know he does go to explain and prepare her in case he had worse panic attack or can't calm down by himself.


	20. Coming trouble...

_**Sev's pov** _

Well, I suspected they won’t be happy, but calling in Tom… I AM In trouble. Like big trouble. Good thing is that professor Slughorn likes me now.

Bad thing is that now I’m coming in the common room with pureblood who are insulted by being prank by the first year half-blood.

And probably Gryffindors are out for my blood now as well.

It could have been better… but the phoenix is such an interesting creature! If it wasn’t for Tom’s disappointment, it would be worth it.

Unfortunately, Tom is disappointed.

And now I’m going into the snake’s pit.

Just great.

Maybe I should try to go back home? But with Tom already so disappointed in me… Spinner’s end? I wasn’t there for 5 years, but hiding is a game I’m good at.

Notthing of it will happen with Professor McGonagal just behind me.

No way to avoid it, they won’t kill me. Probably. Just a few hexes and curses, maybe broken bones… Nothing I haven’t had before. Occlumency in place, fear deep down, behind my shields. Last ‘good night, Madam’ and I’m in. I was told password before, thankfully, as no one would help me now. For a long time.

“We were waiting for you, Severus. Some good explanation? “

I can lie, can apologise, but I don’t want to. They wouldn’t to me anyway. I will apologize to Lucius and Cisssy private.

“None” better makes it short.

“None? You have our hair ruined and show the power of the house of snakes and there is no explanation?” he’s brew is up and I know how serious he is, but say nothing more “Fine, have it your way, but remember for everything is price”

Now it is insulting. That I don’t know it? I? Someone mutters “ You’re a disappointment to the Dark Lord” and I see red. All gets cold. So cold…

“ Of course there is, only complete dunderhead thinks there is none. So be warned. I will give you back as much as I got. Professor Slughorn brew the antidote, but I created it. I wouldn’t go with it without one” many more of them are shocked and not all can masked it, but I can feel it all. So clearly as ever. “ so in my book we’re even, Lucius, or you would have gone to the lessons in green and silver for the week. Good night” now evacuation before they hexed me into oblivion. Ready to defend myself. I will take a few down with myself.

I’m moving slowly, carefully, none of them is an ally. Not even Lucius. He’s a friend, not an ally.

“Yo, how bad it is?” Evan, finally someone to talk to! I may even survive today. I can feel warm again.

“Worse than predicted. They have asked Tom to come” he’s getting pale and I know precisely why “He’s angry at me. For now I’m grounded, taken away privilege and on probation. One more stunt and I will have that collar he promised me 2 years ago…”

Evan looks thoughtful. As if analyzing.

“If you are to be punished, why me too? With you grounded I will be bored!!” seriously, this is the problem!? “ And that rose, cute collar? Wow, he’s angry… “ it’s pink… Merlin, I can’t get into a trouble anymore or I’m done for a life! Such a humiliation…

“Don’t laugh! Help me not get into trouble, okey? He knows about experiments too” I added sourly.

“How?”

“He thought it out easily, usually he just let me do things until I am caught, but… not anything which could kill me… so he’s angry, angry and furious. Even shields didn’t stop it…”

Silence.

I’m in so much trouble.

“Let’s go to sleep for now, you’re in deep shit anyway and I will be bored over the scale so let’s enjoy freedom and life so long we can”

“So long Bella won’t kill me? Oh precious, I need some warding to do before I go to sort myself out. Night. You two as well, not that you will answer me. ” Talking to Mulciber or Avery is a waste for now, but a proper behavior.

Getting my things warded, taking a shower, going to sleep.

And hoped I won’t die tomorrow.

_**Remus’ pov** _

Everyone was talking about ‘the hair incident’. Gryffindors were angry, Ravenclaws impressed, Hufflepuff mostly neutral and Slytherin… Whatever they felt while leaving a feast, it stayed between them. James, that loud boy, was talking about how evil the guy is and that he knows who he is now.

I don’t think he should have told everyone through.

He said that his father had pitied him, cause dad of that Slytherin, Snape is his surname, I think, has killed his mother and tried to kill him but slipped and killed himself instead. About him being in mental hospital and being mental himself… it was mean, to say about ones’ tragedy so loud to everyone.

I know how it is to lose something.

I already did lose many things. I have my own secret.

When you look at me most days of the month, you can see nice, polite boy. But one day I am a beast. I am a werewolf.

When I was five, dad told something not nice about werewolves and one decided to take revenge on him by destroying me. So he bite me and I suffer from lycantrophy from then on.

It was ‘miracle’ I am alive in fact.

Fitting, isn’t it? My surname, Lupin means wolf. I was so sure I would never be here. And miracle happened.

Headmaster said that he want to see if it is possible to gave education and chance in life for children in my situation and if I want to, I can attend Hogwart. It is my only chance, but I had to make sure no one get to know about it.

Or both headmaster and I will have trouble. He risk so much for me, I had to do my best.

My best but…

I’m too scared to protect the boy, too scared to say something to this guy. Because it can be me, it can be my story, it can be my secret.

I’m afraid so I am silent.

But not all are.

“How can you!?” everyone’s eyes are on a girl with auburn hair. She’s also first year. “ It is a tragedy, not some joke! You think it could be easy?! That boy is from my town! Back then my parents didn’t told me, it was only 3 years later that I get to know. Did you forgot to say how old he was?” world has stopped breathing or so I thought “ SIX, he was six years old when this happened! How dare you even make a joke of this while he only change a hair color? And professor said that he had a prepared receipt for counter! He’s not evil then, if he could worry about it! Don’t you have any feelings? “ these green eyes, so similar in color to Avada Kedavra, has been shooting lightning at everyone around, only Sirius, that Black boy, was looking at the floor.

Wait, I think he was looking at it from the beginning…

James, the one who started, looked down in shame and didn’t say anything more. I think it hit him what he just did.

But the fact that younger years and a few older felt ashamed didn’t mean that they all did.

For them it was a Slytherin attacking their pride and I was afraid of how they will try to take revenge…

Severus Snape made a big sign on his back with a words ‘target’.

**_Lucius’ pov_ **

Our little menace is awake now. He has swiftly get out of the common room, but firstly he woke up Evan.

Rosier was not at all surprised after what has happened so he knew from the beginning. So he knows why too.

I will soon as well. I am Malfoy after all.

“So, sleep beauty, tell me why he did something so foolish”

I expected some great fight, resistance or simple ignorance. Not an answer.

“To see a phoenix and keep a promise he made to the muggle-lover the only time he had ever saw him when he was seven. It looks like the old fool don’t think too much of our Sev, believing he could forget. Pfff, sooner I will start working as hard as him” with a flashing smile he left the common room, probably in search of his ‘wife’.

The promise.

All of that because of the old fool.

Severus…. It is fitting. For him that is, but…

You. Are.A.Moron.

I need to tell Cissy before she turn you into a mice. And leaves with a cat. And she’s not good from transfiguration…

I’m a prefect but I can’t protect him now. Some of the snakes will go after him. Not many. Yesterday, when he was saying it all, it shows again.

There is insanity in there, behind all logic and feelings.

He was shy and indecisive and not sure of himself when I first met him. Not so much now. He’s still shy a little, not always sure if he’s not wrong. But now it is different. He has his own persona, which he didn’t back then. He become ‘Severus Snape’.

He has been living with the death himself and saw many bad scenes from him, I heard. And he still loves, adores and always listens to the Dark Lord.

Unbelievable for someone so emotional to just accept that reality.

Unbelievable for someone who did accept this reality to still be innocent at heart.

But when you get in his bad book, when you try to attack Tom, he’s becoming a wild card.

The monster.

The human.

And I still consider him a friend, because as a human, he’s more humane than most. So sensitive, so full of emotions and love.

When monster, he’s worse than that Dark Lord’s pet. More toxic, more dangerous, unpredictable.

He’s both. And it’s the scary part.

The Dark Lord must have been angry at him, if he come back and get into that mood. Last one and only I ever saw it was when some other politic insulted the Dark Lord.

And yesterday, once again, he show his fangs.

Dark Lord’s little monster.

No, not like Bella. She’s crazy overall. He only to protect the Dark Lord. Or if you push him too far.

He’s a monster out of love.

Isn’t it insanity in itself?

When he grow up, learn and become a full-fledged wizard, what would he be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes! Remember what I said, a little less of cruel Dark Lord and a little more cold-blooded Sev's.  
> For now at least.   
> they rubbing on each other after all :***  
> any complains up!  
> I will add another one in a few minutes ^^
> 
> Ah, and finally Remus pov :P   
> I'm not in a mood to write Pete, not as of yet. Don't like the guy at all. If they caught him and he get scared and blurted out if fear in one thing... they shouldn't make a secret keeper out of someone not ready for sacrifice.  
> BUT he took a mark for selling them. This I hate. He did it consciously and never tried to fix it.   
> Sorry if one of you relate to him.   
> JUST.I. CAN"T.  
> Sorry, next one!


	21. Nothing better than Missing train (on purpose)

**Evan's pov**

For some reason the next morning, the whole school know about my Sev’s past.

Few called him a son of murderer. Few goes even farther to call him a pre-murderer as the son takes his father of course. Like I am anything like my father. Really.

They were many idiots who actually sent him pity’s look.

And all of them were idiots.

To be honest, Slytherin left him alone. Him, a half-blood disrespecting them ( clearly he made something to scary them, my Sev ) with an excuse of being afraid of _his guardian_ which was mostly true.

Gryffindors are not so self-preserving.

And Severus ignored them.

I believed he would hex some of them, but… he was holding back. Probably not to give another reason to call Mr Riddle back to the school. Well, he is in big trouble already and says he will have a talk with the Dark Lord aka his ‘parent’ very, very soon.

I feel sorry for him. Very.

So it is not that surprising that he’s ignoring all that fuss.

But the worst part is him spending most of his free time in library or on school work! Workaholic are scary… And he brings me with him. Mostly I sleep or annoyed him or other people.

Siri ignores us completely in favor of his new friend, Potter. Arrogant as a proper pureblood. At least this much.

Our roommates are even bigger idiots than we have thought, they believe that being a pureblood, they should be better at magic than Severus who is a half-blood.

Severus, who was taken in by the Dark Lord himself for his talent.

Severus, who has made the prank more complicated and earlier than any of other first year before him.

Severus, who is actually trying to learn and is learning from the Dark Lord.

Yeaa, it must be so hard to see it coming.

And Bella is delusional again, believing that the Dark Lord is angry at Severus for pranking them (her) along with the rest of the school. She’s going around talking with Lestrange and other who want to listen about as much delighted she will be to hear him screaming under crucio and begging for forgiveness. If _He_ ever were to punish Sev like that, then _He_ would never make it public. And he would have to do something terrible for _Him_ to want to punish Sev so far.

Let her be delusional, if it gets her off his back.

Lucius is actually angry that teachers let such a delicate information out and is not doing anything to silence anyone. He’s doing some investigation who told everyone so he can pass it to Mr Riddle ( in public we are to call _Him_ so ). No one want to be the one to tell _Him_ it’s a public secret now.

Absolutely no one.

So we’re waiting for Severus to either break of his indifference or for him to tell _Him_ alone.

It may take a few years. He said he had a panic attack in headmaster office through. He has them sometimes, he calls it flashbacks and they happened only if his occlumency is weaker or down and someone actually triggers it. He’s not occluding all the time anymore, only when he’s angry or afraid. Says he promised _Him_ something like 3 years ago, when they started training opening up. I don’t think the Dark Lord cares about this promise anymore as it was important only in his training, but who I am to question it?

Severus hates breaking his word, so he barely gives it or only in important things. He might have spent too much time around the most powerful Dark wizard of our times, he’s way too serious sometimes! Personally, I like him the most when he’s angry. It’s so utterly lovely to see all those idiots wanting to piss themselves and so on. He’s eyes are so empty that I want to stare at them all day! Isn’t he amazing? It’s hard to be bored with someone so unpredictable and impossible around.

I can’t wait to see those pussy Gryffindors pushing him to the edge.

It would be sooo much fun!

_**Lily’s pov** _

I need help in potion.

Like a big help with it. It is not hard to understand theory, fair enough. When it comes to practice… I need someone who can show me how to properly cut and stir and mince… It looks like I never did it as it should be.

Neither Mary or Alice is especially good in potion. Alice is decent, but when she tried to show me how, nothing seemed to be working fine.

Older Gryffindors either are barely passing or don’t know how to properly taught it or rather what I do wrong.

They tried with no success.

My potion are not that bad, they are passing, but I want to do better and I know I can!

Charms are easy at least. Professor says I have natural affinity for it.

There is also that poor boy who lived in my town.

When I get to know about it, I was little disappointed, if this didn’t happened I might have had magical friend before Hogwart…

I wish I had.

If he does not agree, which he probably won’t as Slytherins hate Gryffidors and muggleborns which I am both, I will have to try on my own or ask professor. But he won’t ever take me seriously again if I had to ask that! I would be a silly muggle girl until the end of the school.

Blimey.

One breath.

At worst he will insult me and I will hex him.

Let’s hope he won’t hex me back.

“Hello” come on, you’re in the house of brave, don’t fret now!

“Yes?” no greetings? Seriously? He didn’t even looked up!

“Um, can I ask you something about potions?” oho, he’s paying attention to me now.

“You have nice eyes, you know?” what?

“What my eyes have to do with potion?”

“Well, they have a color of one of the unforgivable, killing curse, of course they are interesting!” what is happening actually..?

“Um, and how is something so vile related to my eyes and potions?” I’m clearly insulted, what does he hit at!?

“Absolutely nothing, just they are unique, I’m always noting unique things, your name?”

Oh, I didn’t introduce myself. He don’t know I’m muggleborn yet…

“Lily Evans, first year Gryffindor” he looks thoughtful, now is the time he will order me to get lost…

“Your stirring too fast, the movement of your hand is off, you should try minimalism unnecessary moves and try to observe another classmate, possible me, after which trying to mimic. Few potion will get failed with ‘ the try and fail’ method, but it will help in a long way. Don’t mince like in muggle kitchen, try to do it more precisely, don’t sped up, and cut in a proper way. Wait a moment” and now he’s out… Wait, shouldn’t he refused to help me!? He knows what I did wrong? How?

“ Okey, see this book? Read it, memorize it and see which way and how cutting change the properties. It is a delicate matters,but with time most people do it instinctively on acceptable level. You would have to be able to discern which one is needed if you were to brew for example Veritaserum or similar level potion. If after doing it all, you still not improving, come again.” And he has gone back to ignoring me as if he never said anything…

So I stare.

And then laugh.

“You’re nothing like they were saying you are!”

Now he’s looking at me as I am an idiot and I laugh harder. The work he’s doing is on charms… Hm?

“Is it an essay?” I am curious now. He is interesting, so much more than one would think!

“It is independent study, I want to know what would happen if I change incantation a little and movement” Wow, you’re amazing – and I didn’t realize he heard me until he blushed!

“Can I sit here? And want would happen if you flick it 4 and not 3 times in the left? And how do you alter a spell? And is it possible to learn to alter a spell?”

He looked puzzled for a moment, but answered them all in the end.

I knew it, magic is so much fun!

And his advise helped me a lot later on. Instead of middle, I was starting to be one of the best in my class in potion!

Isn’t he amazing?

**_Sev's pov_ **

The midterms test that were coming, would not be too hard.

It was going home for Christmas, I dreaded the most, so I decided to gamble on it.

And stays here. Few months is nowhere enough for Tom not to be angry. Even this new rule, which he manage to pass with slight modification won’t sooth him up.

Some of my dorm mates are angry with me for talking to Lily once.

I tried to ignore her later, but she’s too bright! Always shining and shining with good will, care and happiness. So much happiness out of the smallest things. If I met her before Tom, I would be way more entrance with her, but even now, this light of her makes me want to answer. It is annoying when honestly curious question just had to be answered.

And she has nice eyes, green like killing curse. So interesting ones…

I hope Tom forgot this is Christmas.

I can hope at least, cause he won’t make a fuss and come take me back personally?

Right…?

When professor Slughorn ask why, I said I am technically grounded and if I can put off the talk about being irresponsible a little more, I would try.

And I’m forbidden from the lab there and here I have an access. He only chuckled at it and said both he and headmaster would be happy I have stayed and to get to know me better. Now, Merlin, let Tom missed it until it is too late. I told about it to no one. Even Evan would tell, I know it, as he cares about my life.

But I prefer not to now. I’m scared of his disappointed way more than his anger. Physical pain? I was born in it and saved by Tom (and Mr Potter ) from it. Having him disappointed in me is way worse. It means taking me in was a mistake.

A mistake he will one day realize and leave me.

_Like Mr Potter partly._

_Like my ma._

So I want to put it off and don’t enter the train. When they notice it, it will be too late. Unfortunately, hiding in a closet is not the most comfortable thing. And getting find out by Siri out of all people even worse.

“Why are you still here?” Obvious question, but as long as not harmful, truth is preferable. A little omitted, but still truth.

“I’m not going, you really think I want to go when he’s still angry for my ‘prank’ at the beginning of the first term? I’m grounded anyway, so we would not go anywhere. And it would be silent” and Nagini would keep me around herself and not let me go as if I am a specimen in danger who needs constant babysitter, but this one is irrelevant.

“Sev, you’re idiot. He will be ten times more angry for it than the prank!! You think I don’t know what they do when they are angry at someone? Are you crazy?!”

“ Who told you I am afraid of pain?” I blurt out. Damn my temper. Where is occlumency when needed? Worse, he can get it.

“Oh… then good luck.”

Silence around. Yea, something to say…

“You’re not back home from similar reason or they banish you to stay?”

“Banish” maybe preferable to going I think. After all, your mother…

“Good, I have someone to talk to then” He smiles at that. We tolerate each other good enough, don’t we?

“Did you really helped Evans?” people still ask about it? Seriously…

“She was defending me that first day, someone told me, so I saw no reason to ignore her request. It’s only fair” understanding dawn on him and he’s laughing.

“Are you sure that hat put you into Slytherin?” I am not laughing or smiling, how does he know about this dilemma? “ Wait, seriously it didn’t want to put you there?”

Clearly shocked so he was joking. To Merlin with my fear, it distort thinking.

“It said I am capable of helping weaker than me and I am only like Slytherin to equals or stronger, so I am too friendly for them, but change its mind under a threat. Try to tell anyone and you will know why your mother is careful around me and hate me so much. Long time ago it stopped being only because of my blood, blackie.” Yep, I’m angry now, time to breath.

A weak occlumency shield can make wonders too.

“See you at the feast” no waiting for goodbye, he should know already by now that I am just as much Slytherin as the rest, just not all the time.

Well, I am myself after all.

**_Tom’s pov_ **

I’m looking for my black hair idiot. We have much to talk about and little time. So where is he? Practically everyone has come out. Spotting Lucius is always easy, he’s too extinguished to be missed.

“Lucius”

“Oh, my…” He’s stopping, composing himself, he nearly jumped when he heard me. To call me that in public is punishable, young Malfoy, better remember “ Mr Riddle, what is the reason for this pleasure?”

“Have you seen where Severus has hidden himself? He hadn’t gotten out yet.” Malfoy pales visible before he answers “ Mr Riddle, I have left so late, because I was looking for him, but… I didn’t find him so I thought I missed him… Isn’t he somewhere around here?”

SO.

He’s not on the train?

And I’m sure he wasn’t at the platform.

.

.

.

_The brat stayed at Hogwart._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The silence before storm...  
> tutututu


	22. Christmas' miracles

_**Albus’ pov** _

There is no better time than Christmas. Presents’ time! Unfortunately, the most unhappy children usually stays at Hogwart or those who takes their studies seriously. The first example would be poor Sirius Black, but with mother like Walburga and him being a Gryffindor, it was expected. The second one was the NEWT level students, few Ravenclaw and one Hufflepuff. Hard working, indeed. Only one Slytherin stayed and I was mostly surprised. When I asked Horace if he know why, he said: “ Severus said he want to put off the talk about his little surprise for later, but also is officially banned from lab, so he can’t brew! Such a diligent student and little researcher, that one!”.

I was afraid of worse possibility through.

And first time I have just as much hope that I am right that I am wrong.

If I am right and it can be proven, then the child can be taken away from him.

If not, that he’s still here and we can enjoy this occasion with him and get to know him better.

Unfortunately, someone told everyone of his past. We have tried to minimalism the output, but giving so many detention and taking so many points can do only so much.

We’re lucky he’s so resilient or rather used to negative attention.

I wonder how you reacted Tom, when the child decided to defy you for the first time. Or maybe you thought it obvious that he will come and didn’t say so? Second option is more believable, Severus would potentially do anything you ask him of.

Out of his love to you.

So this is more like what happened. It is logical, but the child need to learn a lot. This way he only makes you more angry. But would someone with such keen senses and legilemency from young age could not see it? Or was he not afraid of his ire?

Then… disappointment? Yes, he is the kind who would be afraid of it.

Afraid of being disappointment and left behind. I decided to tell Fleamont that if he wished to meet a child without fighting with Tom for another visit a month in advance, he is to come Hogwart. He was probably more glad that he stayed than even me or Severus himself.

Only I know how much Potter missed the child. Tough mask to sooth his wife of her concern that it is her fault he lost his trust, which obviously is not, and son, who he loved more than anything and didn’t want to worry. But inside, he felt so disappointed in himself, nothing could help him. Until Severus has finally wrote back. But something once broken can’t be mended the same.

Having a talk with young Snape without Tom around would be a great joy for my old friend.

Indeed lucky we are that you decided to stay, Severus. Thank you for this.

“So now, as we are in such a little crowd around the one table, let’s tuck in!” I remember he liked my socks collection. I hope he will likes the socks I bought for him!

The rest of the Christmas dinner was going nice.

That’s why I always liked Christmas!

The smiles on their face, laughs, jokes, presents and such a good, merry atmosphere!

Before everyone has gone off to celebrate on their own, I have one more conversation to have.

“Severus? Can we talk?” The boy in question turn around and looked at me with ‘what do you want to talk about?’ glare of his. So much can be read from expression, if you know how to look, it is hilarious. “Mr Potter was thinking if you would like to visit him if you’re already staying at Hogwart, he missed spending time with you and as no one else is in your dorm, no one would notice” I can’t help, but smile at the view, a little surprise and then so warm expression. He’s happy Fleamont remembers about him. This child pays back twice for any affection he gets.

And probably just the same for any harm.

“Would be it alright? I mean, Tom is already probably mad I am not home and son of Mr Potter don’t like me…” oh? I never saw too much of interaction between them… “ Won’t I be a bother?”

I sign, children are never a bother. No one should have ever said so to you.

“Fleamont said if you won’t come today, he will come tomorrow himself” this seemed to sooth his fear a little.

Only a little.

“This is the portkey, if you want to go, just tell your name, I’m sure you will have a good time there”

“Can I take someone else? He’s a friend of that idi… of James Potter and he’s alone here too. We know each others, so if it is not a bother…”

“Yes, I’m sure it is not a problem, not at all” now I’m beaming at him. Oh joy, I can see how and why the hat wanted to put him into the Gryffindor. If you’re not an enemy, he will be nice to you. He knows the price of kindness…

Severus don’t wait too long, but start to run.

I hope they have a good time.

Take care of them, Fleamont.

_**Sirius’ pov** _

Being alone in Christmas sucks.

I wonder how Reg is doing?

He’s alone with our mother, it can’t be good.

I’m so bored, why the dinner has to be so short!? Most of people who stayed are using the time to learn.

Boring.

“Oj, Black, Snape wants a word with you!” third year, Longbottom, shouts. Nice fellow.

Well, Severus is better than no one, I guess.

“Yo, what do you want?”

“You’re coming with me to Potters?” WHAT.THE.HELL?

“What? How the hell we would go there and how come you think you can? James hates you!”

He only rolled his eyes. Typical.

“Remember the accident from when I was 6? “ Who don’t these days? “ Mr Potter was the auror, who took me out of there” the fck? “ He even applied for guardianship, but cancelled after Mrs Potter got ill” Double what? She was ill? James never said anything about it! But Severus as if I was not shocked continued. A right git “ We’re still seeing each others, but never alone anymore. At the beginning in hospital yet, he was visiting me many times, second only to Tom. So he invited me and I want to smuggle you too, we will nicely apologize for it and go on with the evening. I said I will accompany you this Christmas, I won’t go back on it.” You’re really asking me? There is only one answer.

“Won’t it piss off Tom? Like a lot?”

“Can I even piss him off more than I did?” he said dryly and I choked. THIS will piss him off more. I remember dad saying he hates Mr Potter for something. Now I know what for, but… what he won’t know, won’t hurt him? Yea, and us too.

“Then let’s go! How?”

“Portkey, so get dressed, I’m ready, I have a potion for him anyway, wanted to send it, but can give in person. And for Mrs Potter too. She visited me once in hospital too and with Mr Potter once a year ago as well. Nothing for your friend, but he won’t notice, I’m sure” a faint smile says it all. He cares for them. So I need to hurry or he will leave me behind.

This might be the best Christmas ever, actually.

_**James’ pov** _

I can’t believe it.

Dad’s invited him over! On Christmas! Why?

Well, I might have remembered recently that dad was involved with his accident as an auror and was visiting him, but… to invite on Christmas? It is personal celebration! I couldn’t even bring Sirius as mom said no, cause dad want to invite someone. And to think it is Snape’s fault?

I was right to hate him.

Slimy git.

I can’t be ‘not nice’ to him, because it will hurt dad. So I will ignore him. The best plan I could come up with. The problem is, I don’t know how to do it. The sole seeing him annoyed me.

So now I’m sulking waiting for ‘the guest’.

Dad is losing the hope he will come… He can’t even not sadden dad, what a bigot.

Mom definitely want to say something when two people appear. Dad lit up as he see a grease ( not that much but a fact is a fact), ugly git I remember from school. The second is…

“Sirius? How…?” but before I can ask, he takes Sirius’ head- how dare he? – and yank him into a bow he is in himself. What?

“We’re sorry for intruding, I’m sorry for bringing him along, but he’s your son’s friend and we knew each other and I promise to entertain him with conversation, so I had to bring him along.” And together they say “ We’re sorry!” while bowed. What is happening?

Dad started laughing…

“Welcome in my home, Severus, Sirius. James told us a lot about you and already secure your visit in vacation” dad smiles warmly and Sirius’ cheek turn red! “ It’s not a problem, I didn’t know how good is your relations and wanted to take a little advantage from your staying at Hogwart, so we didn’t invite him as to not makes things awkward. Of course, you’re welcome here. Come on, everything is ready”

And so dad is leading them inside.

Maybe, just maybe he’s not that bad.

While I and Sirius was telling mom all the stories about pranks and students and teachers and how unfair it is that first year can’t play quidditch, dad was talking with Severus.

I saw how happy he was and felt a little jealousy. I still could not understand why he cares so much about this Slytherin. Snape’s eyes were shining too. All the time. I never saw him like that. No one asked why he stayed. I wanted, but Sirius told me not to.

Later, when we have gone out ‘on a walk’ or rather to see the collection of brooms, he open a little up.

“Don’t provoke him, James. He is like 90% time quite harmless, if you don’t get in his way. But if you asked bad question or go over limit or , never do it, tell something bad about his guardian, he becomes vile and dangerous. And he has a skill, I’m sure your dad know about it. He said he saved him in the past. Ask him. Safer. And be careful around Evan to not let it slip. About him being here. Tom Riddle hates your dad for any relation he has to Severus, if he were to know… “ shivers has gone through my spine.

“Does he know it and still come?” he could endanger dad like that?

“I… I’m not sure, he will probably just say headmaster took us here to redirect trouble”

“What? Why? It’s not true!”

“Actually, it does, he gave him portkey to your home, so he won’t lie technically and Riddle hate him anyway. Plus, I think he did it for your dad, he will be in bigger trouble when Riddle found out and he didn’t go home afraid of it already…. Guess the rest and just keep silent. For your dad’s sake. I don’t want to scary you, James, but being careful with Slytherins is minimum to survive. I know, I live with them. Snape is actually not the worst, maybe the best after Andy.”

We didn’t talk more about it.

Neither this evening or any next.

Just had fun. As if this talk never happened in the first place.

And there was next for Sirius, but he came alone. Severus thoughtfully refused apparently saying he shouldn’t go without his guardian permission.

As if he never came.

As if he created the memory of refusing to pass it off as a real one.

Did he?

I never asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it!  
> James is starting to see a good side! I'm sure you all are happy ^^  
> Tom will be furious~ don't have the chapter yet, but I can assure you.   
> See you!


	23. Parents job is worse than politics

_**All chapter is from Tom's pov; we missed him recently, didn't we?** _

I forgot something important about being _a parent_.

At some point, your child will always cause you some trouble and try to avoid responsibility.

It is inevitable, it seems, if even Severus decided he want to do just that.

Never mind, it is not that I will let him, right?

Having to go to headmaster’s office already second time, impressive feat for first year. What more it would be?

“I wish to talk to headmaster about getting my ward along with me home. Preferable now. Can you let me in?” talking to stone while being aware who in fact is listening. Pathetic, but necessary.“ I’m aware that the feast is already over, can you ask Horace to fetch Severus if you don’t want to talk with me?” Something is wrong. I hate this feeling, the one saying something _unwanted_ did happen. The door are opening… Why would he…?

“Hello, Tom. Come in.” So he want to talk with me? Strange.

“Albus, you know why I’m here, so how long will it take you to get him?”

“Unfortunately, it is not possible”

“Pardon? What did you do with **my ward**?” my magic is flaring dangerously and the thing in office, his things, are _soooo close_ to being ripped apart.

He’s looking at me with those hellish blue twinkling eyes… He did something. Something he would not want me to know about and had to stall time… No, he wouldn’t!

“You didn’t give him to Potter, did you?” the malice and venom in my voice could kill if I were a snake. How dare he!?

“Unfortunately, young Sirius was invited, so I thought if he is already going there, as his own family didn’t want him home, I’m sure you’re aware, we thought he can take Severus with him. Fleamont missed him greatly, after all, and the boy was all on his own in his dorms. I got the impression you didn’t want him home as well” half-truth, not outright lie, not truth, as always.. Merlin, how I wished I could get into this pretty mind of his and wreck chaos in it.

“Get. him. back.” I’m gritting out through my teeth’s already so hard pressed together that it is more of a hiss than words.

“I suppose you have to wait until portkey will take them back.”

I will murder him one day and I will enjoy every second of watching him die.

Yes, it would be the great day.

_The day I win **this game**._

“Fine, where will they come back?”

“Gryffindor’s tower, I can ask Minerva to escort you” Great. What a joy.

Normally I would decline.

But normally, I’m not angry enough to kill for looking at me.

“Very well, ask for her. The sooner, the better.”

The less words, the better too. I don’t want to give up all I worked for the last five years in Ministry, do I?

It took all 5 minutes of deadly silence for her to get here. Too long for my taste.

Five minutes of stopping myself from killing the old fool.

If I could kill him for sure, without bringing attention of other teachers who would interrupt and lead to my demise, I would. You can’t have everything, unfortunately. To some things you need to go slowly.

“Albus, you ask for…” the moment she saw me, she either understood or thought I am here to kill someone. I suppose there is a lot of murderous intent now.

I am angry.

Faster, Severus, the longer it takes, the worse it will be, I assure you. If only you could hear it…

“Good evening, Tom, can I ask you the reason for coming?” her tone is calm and measured, but she’s angry.

For that law perhaps? How many poor, little mudblood has come to cry on her lap that they won’t pass it? They have 3 chances to this exam. For now, that is. They should know what it is about even without it. That’s why this one has passed so easily. Over 80% of Wizgemont is in the same mind with me. It wasn’t hard to get this first step done at all.

But now…

“I come for Severus as he decided that it is better to hide here than talk with me about his little prank from the first day of his education. As you may have noticed he’s sensitive child.”

Talking to her at least is not talking to Albus, nothing alike in **_my_** scales of annoyance and murderous intent.

“Sensitive? He’s foolhardy boy who cares little about anything other than his score. I’m sorry I don’t share your views, Tom”

I was wrong. I will murder her too.

But wait… They must have been informed. Did he not..?

“Albus, were you so nice ,along with Horace of course, to share with the rest of stuff that he is a natural in mind arts, can sense when they think little of him, are displeased with him, hate him, love him, like him, are curious or worried or disappointed and because of his little to lack ability in handling properly all of it, he usually occludes so he can analyze it all from afar alone after going to sleep? I remember it was what we have decided on with _his_ mind healer and you were supposed to inform all who should know” Minerva is shocked and Albus looks a little uncomfortable.

I will murder them.

“Of course Horace as his head of house and Poppy were informe…” I see red. Oh, I will kill him. Time to shut it a little down before I let my fury do the talking. Usually I don’t occlude for that reason.

In cold voice I do interrupt him.

“I remember saying that all teachers should be informed to be aware of his reaction, the necessarily to observe him more than the rest, the fact that they should not lie to him unnecessary and if anything were happening to inform me, as Severus would shut it away until it will be too much. Or maybe you decide to fail him again? They do know about that murder case, don’t they?” quick look at Minerva nodding “ Then they know you haven’t visited him even with being his temporary guardian?” malice and anger, last time your mistakes benefitted me, this time I won’t let you even make them, you old fool! “ You haven’t changed, you have no idea how happy your mistakes made me, the chances for **_my guardianship_** were _so slim_ in the beginning, you knew? _Potter do have a good reputation._ And if you had check up on him, Potter might have seriously taken him from me! I am so lucky, you were such a fool, but now I will make sure there is no chances. If he has a panic attack, what will you do? Hmm? They might thought he’s faking it! Don’t think I don’t know how some of you are looking at Slytherins! It was crucial, for them all, to be aware of this possibility. He had maybe only 3-4 attacks in last 2 years, but this environment is new, people are new and you yourself know how natural occlumens, not to mention abused child, would feel in such a circumstances!! Rosier’s kid said he’s reducing occluding to minimum, it is good for his mental health and all, but can cause more attacks! I’m starting to think I should just transfer him, that is after you give him back!!”

No response for a moment. Long moment…

“I will make sure the rest of the staff will be informed, as you wish. I might have neglected the possibility, he looked quite fine lately, but you’re right, better to be prepared”

Yea, better do it or some of your student will lose their parents.

As a warning.

Gryffindors’ mudbloods of course.

“So, Minerva, can you walk me to the Gryffindor’s tower, I am supposed to wait there for my charge to come back from unauthorized journey”

Her eyes widen, but she nodded and we start going.

With a quiet voice, she asked, as if for great secret.

“It is really that severe? I never noticed anything so far…”

“Now? It is minor. By the time I took him in formally, by simple showing him care he beat it out on his own” I was just as surprised as healer when she said that he’s so stable as if he didn’t live a hellish life “ But all of this is dependent on me as his emotional support, also you could count Lucius Malfoy, Evan Rosier and Fleamont Potter, recently Orion and Abraxas has become some kind of ‘I can talk to them freely a little’ persona, not much more. But he was quite worse for wear with being afraid of my possible reaction, so it may have worsen “ wait, this expression… “ Something on your mind?”

“You don’t know?” I shake my head, _what do I missed yet again?_ “ Someone knew about his past and told the others… It is now practically public knowledge…” I feel my blood draining away from my face, my eyes getting wider with anger and I know I’m saying in palsetounge, but..

**_“I will kill all of them! As painfully as I can! How is it no one informed me?”_ **

“Tom?”

“Don’t talk to me for a moment, I’m contemplating transferring him to Durmstrang on the spot… or maybe homeschooled? He’s practically a magnet for trouble. Maybe I should keep him home, surely, he can learn more than enough from me… “

“I don’t think so, Tom, I know we failed, but he needs not only magic knowledge, but also to learn things about human interaction! He has severe lack of these and have trouble dealing with anyone who is not Slytherin. He needs to attend for at least this reason, you can’t lead him by hand all his life, because you could interact with everyone. Think about it.”

She has a point, something I knew already 5 years ago...

Being a parent is difficult, indeed.

“ Very well, he will have his exams home and will go back for the second part of the term, he won’t come back if I deem it harmful until I’m sure he is stable and ready. You can inform headmaster of it later, can’t you?”

She didn’t seem satisfied with my decision, but didn’t argue.

“Of course, we’re here, please do not leave a common room, when you get him back, please go back straight to headmaster or Horace to sign a proper documents. And… Thank you for telling me. By the time he’s back, everyone else will know and we won’t let anything happen. I do not wish for disaster, Tom.”

“I lied, Minerva”

“What?”

“He wouldn’t break visible, he would put it all away, tear his own peace and mind to shreds and fix it back indefinitely. Until he becomes truly dependant on others in his decision too. Someone who don’t know him would think of him as a cold statue or temperament child, it is not always sure which state he is, in that matter. As a child, he would either froze or answer bluntly and hurtful to get someone off his back. Our first meeting, he was so cold, one would wonder if he is alive. Like an abyss. I think the state Fleamont Potter found him in was so much worse he actually cried when he saw him quite functioning the first time he visited” this one visible shaken her, little did she know, really, I was fairly sure she is quite high in Albus’ ranks “The difference must have been quite big… I wonder, if what I saw the first time was only a little fraction of his despair from Potter’s first time. I’m not so bold as to try to enter that memory.”

Silence. She has no words for me now? Fine with me.

“ So, now I’m waiting for him? You’re going to stay with me or…?”

“Yes, yes, thank you for being… honest. I will be going back to my duties. Good evening, Mr Riddle”

“Good evening, professor McGonagal” and after she’s out of the earshot and no lousy Gryffindor is trying to check me up, I relax a little.

“So now, where is my trouble-maker? “ a little louder than a whisper. Waiting never sat well with me.

.

.

.

.

It was late in the evening when they show up. Finally.

I was sure he would be extremely happy and I will scold him.

He was not through. He was hiding it with a false smile he learned from me. So this is it? You have gone to please the old fool?

**_No._ **

You have gone to make Fleamont Potter feel better?

**_Closer._ **

You wanted to feel useful?

**_Perfect._ **

“Hello, Severus”

They froze, Sirius with fear, he may be a Gryffindor, but know when he’s in trouble, and Severus… He was happy for a moment.

Ah, _happy to see me_ and then remembered I’m angry and is not so happy anymore.

So I continue.

“Tomorrow we’re going back home, today you can get some sleep, I will ask Horace if I can stay in a common room, I’m pretty sure he will say yes and tomorrow you’re coming with me. I have already talk with headmaster.”

Black’s boy looks about to start an argument. Maybe he is a moron and Gryffindor then. I stop him with a glare.

Severus only nods. Self-preservation is important for Slytherins. Usually there would be some verbal answer…

“Have a good night, Sirius Black” I am specially narrowing my eyes and shooting him one of my more malicious smile I’m still angry, no matter what one would say.

Without a delay or looking back we’re out of this filthy tower. A moment with Slughorn, few words and promises to come back in a moment.

“You’re a walking trouble, you know?” I said finally and Severus looks at the floor “ but mine trouble none the less and the next time you try not to bother me for any reason about your problems and go on to _Potter_ of all people to prove yourself that you matters, then you will not only have a collar, but will stay on a chain. Close to me all the time for a year! You got it?”

Normal person would look even lower, try to make himself smaller or run away, but either he or I have ever been normal, haven’t we?

I know this face and expression. He looks happy I won’t drop him.

Again.

Our talk will last longer than I thought.

So much longer.

Nagini is going to have a lot of job, it seems, leaving this menace alone is not an option.

_Being a parent is so demanding. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha! Remember, people, I love sane Tom quite a lot, love Severus a lot, I loved my created Severus and Tom even more XDD  
> I hope people who read it like them too :3
> 
> For one thing, Lupin is also attending, remember?  
> Existence of one with such a problematic problem is a burden and I share a belief of many that outside of headmaster, only Poppy and Minerva knew. Not all teacher would not be prejudiced, so it would be risky and if even one said no, Remus would not be at Hogwart. So it is logical that Poppy, who had to and would be quite compassionate and know a lot as a medic how painful it is and Minerva who is a close co-worker on many fronts are good choice. Albus took similar strategy wit Severus to avoid having another secret revealed. One can lead to another through Poppy for example or any kind of control it would attract. He kind of thought to assess its danger by observing, but missed that... he don't know the child normal pattern. He remembered him cheerful with someone he like and not so with someone he didn't. He underestimate his occlumancy as he remembers his great talent in legilemency as well.  
> Remember, he's taking care of them all and try to find the best solution for keeping all students.  
> Tom cares only about one well-being. Don't be too harsh, not many can properly understand how much it all did affect Severus in my fic, especially if one had loving family, who had bad luck and got screw up, not screw it up on their own.  
> Thank you for attention.  
> I don't want people to think I'm bashing Dumbledore, but from Tom's perspective it will always be a little bashing... you know why. As Severus will never think much of James ( he didn't remark on train cause he was son of Mr Potter, respect for his father, nothing more!!! ) or James of Severus.  
> See you.


	24. Depressed author have no strength to name nicely a good chapter, wait for inspiration for it :P

Still Tom's pov

So now with my ward secured and in one piece, it is time to visit my old head of house. I do wonder why I was not given any information about revealing a confidential information. _Not only from him._

His office didn’t change much, there were only more great presents from his connections ( some from me as well ) which he helped at one point or another. Many more pictures, mine of course is one on the front. Well, he always did like me.

“Good evening, professor, can we talk? I’m aware it is late, way too late, but I would wish to ask a few question, have you sign a few documents and also I would need a favor, if it is possible of course.” If a person can smile properly, use good words and have a good look, it is so much easier to get what you need. Not many people possess the gift to do just that. It is also a great talent of mine.

“Oh, Tom, not at all, not at all. If it wasn’t important, you wouldn’t have come. Sit down, firewhisky? “ I shake my head, I have enough interesting impression for one day.

“Not today, professor, I’m way too tired for alcohol and I have a lot of things to sort out tomorrow, or rather today. Besides my visitation is only brief”

“Oh, pity, maybe next time then. Let us see, what is your purpose then? Surely, must be quite important as the hour is not in favor.” He may not be looking like it, but the man is definitely a Slytherin. It took out a small smile out of me.

“I come to collect my ward and ask for a few specification. I hope you can clear some of my doubts” Ahh, his face got darker, he know what I’m going to talk about.

“Firstly, did you were informed that headmaster apparently let Sirius Black, a Gryffindor unfortunately looking at his great bloodline and its roots in our great house, a real pity, to take Severus to Potters’ house?”

This reaction… So he wasn’t.

“Nothing of that sort was told to me! I would not allow sending him anywhere without your permission, Tom. Only an idiot wouldn’t see how much you care for a boy. I wouldn’t do it to you. Even if Severus was welcomed there, you should be informed. Is this why you want to take him back?”

Ah, he’s not sure of my reasons. Let’s make a quick clarification.

“No, I wanted to do it before I get to know about this little… transparency. I have a long talk to have with my charge, you’re aware I’m sure why, but he decided not to boarded a train. I know more or less why, still it is an important discussion I couldn’t let him get away from. The prank itself could be just punished here, but I’m sure, professor, you understand of the danger he put himself in by preparing it. I just wanted to make sure he won’t be so reckless anymore. Unfortunately, the reason he didn’t come back home was his state getting worse…”

Now, take the bait and ask. I need to have you feel guilty and next time informed me immediately. Those idiots would be too much afraid to be a messengers of bad news. I should have anticipated it.

“His state? Tom, am I not aware of something?”

“Oh, no, professor, I was informed by headmaster you knew it all. His once regular visits to mind healer, the problem with his legilemency and sensitivity to the information it gave him. Before he met me, he never ‘trusted’ another, only knew. It was not an easy feat to taught him that he can confide in me his problems or just talk about things he want to talk about, not what I want to talk about. That accident and the life before it has destroyed his feelings of self, which was carefully rebuilt in all those session professor” but it it not entirely truth, he never had a chance to get this before, so he didn’t possessed it. Ever. “ And here after his little surprise, many people started to dislike him. He instantly knew it too as he’s always using legilemency in groups”

Seeing Horace’s grim expression I chose to clarify.

“ Not like that, professor. It is a defense mechanism created by the abuse he… experienced. Once he told me he always knew when not go out when his ‘dad’ was angry, he could sometimes feel if he come home drunk and with malice intent from his room. He learnt to use his talent to protect himself way too early and never truly understand its mechanisms until meeting me. Even so, to stop it activating accidentally, he needs to stop being unsure in groups and he’s still not there. One of the reason he still continue with his sessions, you see. I know the signs of him withdrawing and one is by masking his problem. I have only now got to know about the facts of his life becoming a ‘public knowledge’.” Your move, Horace.

“Ah, it is most unfortunate that some students even considered it funny to share it with others. We didn’t catch the culprit yet! It could have been anyone with relatives in the right department and over 30% of this school has such! No one was reported as well… “ So they are covering for this person? Interesting. Someone popular then. “Fifth year prefect, Lucius Malfoy actually is still investigating, I remember you being friend with Abraxas, maybe he can help you?”

“Yes, I will most definitely ask, thank you professor. And now that it is clear… I’m going to take back Severus home until I deem it safe to leave him on his own again. I hope you can sign these. I assure you I will make sure he learns properly and is ready for exams” Not that it would be a problem. He can pass them easily.

“Of course, my boy, but won’t he be back after the break?”

“Not sure about it, sir, I want to make sure he will be fine and I don’t have to worry that he can break. I don’t even want to think about what would happen if he has a panic attack during classes with highly reactive substance…” he’s paler now and silent. He did see one? When? “ Did he have one? Headmaster never informed me of such…”

“Back then, I… when we get in the first day, Albus asked me about Eileen Prince, his mother I’m sure you know and he reacted badly. He calmed down on his own when I was practically running to get Poppy! Situation got under control in the end, but it looks not nice at all, Tom. Scary thing, such a deep trauma…”

He have one back then. **_I_** was there not a lot later. And was not informed. _He was there too._

“Professor, can I have a favor? Next time something happens, would you tell me? There is a chance he should have been taken to the healer immediately. It is also quite important that I know so I can talk with him about it and help him work through it. He’s nearly out of it, you see. Only the reminders of his mother can actually make him remember and I think in a year or two, he will be completely fine. Unfortunately, every little thing I do not know about can make it worse and slow down his complete recovery. Is it possible..?” Take it, promise me and we will be done here.

“Of course, my boy, I will tell you the moment something happens! It is our little potion genius, he needs to recover for his own peace! And Eileen’s too” I don’t care if she’s in distressed in grave or hell or wherever she is or not, I need Severus to forgot _her_ and get over _her_. But the purpose was accomplished, a little more small talk, praise, lighter mood conversation and finally, after nearly three hours I’m out.

It was a while, being in this common room again. Sweet, sweet home. I surely missed it.

Well, tomorrow going to be quite busy day, so…

It’s time to get some sleep.

****

**_Sev’s pov_ **

****

_It feels like home._

For the first time after I come to Hogwart it feels as good as being at home.

Why now?

**_Right…_** _Tom is here and he’s bringing me back, not giving me up, not throwing me away, not deeming useless…_

I think I might have been worried for nothing in the end… at worst, I will just be punished a lot. If he were to not want me anymore, he wouldn’t come or tell me all this.

Still, I am in BIG Trouble through big T. Being grounded to 17 is not my dream… or longer.

And talk. And problems… Did Tom mean this rumors? I mean, yea, they are true, but should I care about them? It is all in press from five years ago. Few people indeed do curse me for the prank, but nothing lethal or permanent and I was supposed to lay down so he won’t have to come! I didn’t have hexed them back visible for that reason… Some random attack did happen, but no evidence it was me!

Did I misunderstand? Might have. The talk will take a while I suppose. Well, last month was indeed a little strange.

Not Evan.

Not Evans.

Or other Slytherins.

Not any of those Gryffs or teacher.

_I felt emptier than normal._ Now when I think about it…

Something might have been wrong. Possible.

I didn’t even ask Tom if I can go to Mr Potter… I have screw up like big time… I just wanted to make him a little happier, I may never feel the same as that hopeful six years old, but I care and I don’t want him to blame himself or so. He’s not controlling illness or weather.

But I should have asked. Or rather gone home. Or at least write. Strange. Why didn’t I?

Getting clean, clearing my part of a room, getting ready… and going to the common room.

_Tom is sleeping on sofa._

TOM IS SLEEPING HERE, not ask for any room or so? But he looks so peaceful. Maybe I can get a little closer without waking him up?

It might have been a mistake…

I was caught and taken prisoner as if I am a teddy bear!!! Again. But in public! Good everyone has gone home…

Great, and now we won’t get breakfast… but it is comfortable… and I’m feeling sleepy again.

Treachery! I never sleeps so much. I’m mostly… capable… of.. sta…….

…

**_Author note: nope, go to sleep :PP_ **

**_Horace’s pov_ **

My boys never got to the breakfast. It can’t be that they left without a goodbye? He wouldn’t… but if some important case was up, he might have left a note in the common room. So I may check it out, after all it may be important.

I was not prepared to see him hugging Severus like a Teddy bear, not at all.

My heart was not ready at all.

They were sleeping so soundly, Severus strangely ready to go out as if he wake up and get brought into a hug clothed, that I just couldn’t wake them up so I just had to ask a house elf to actually bring the food here and notify me if they were to wake up.

Neither Albus or Minerva will ever believe me!

**_*Minerva checked, grasped and ran away from the Slytherin house’s common room. *_ **

**_Tom’s pov_ **

One thousand and thirty Albus’ down… Yes, another death! Die, you muggle-lover! Die, you old fool who sent me back to the war! Die you ‘hero’ who stops me!

Wait, why there were one thousands Albus…

Dream, I had a dream, opening my eyes and blinking harder… yea, I must be still in a dream if I can see Severus tugged with me in a bed in cloths… in Slytherin’s common room.

…

Wait, it is Severus and…

**_Tempus_ **

It is half past nine am… I overslept.

Delicately, don’t wake him yet. I need to make myself presentable…

**_*ten minutes later*_ **

****

Fine, I’m ready.

“Severus, time to wake up, we’re already late in my schedule”

Moment of waiting before a groan comes from his mouth, he’s trying to stretch himself and look at me and…

“I’m not a Teddy bear, Tom!” Oh Merlin, he’s himself again! And I was worried he will need some great consulting to stop being sullen or falsely happy. Thanks Merlin.

“Now that you’re visible better, let’s go talk to… is it breakfast?” when was it brought here and…. Whoever did order it DID see this, right? Who I need to obliviate? Answer did come to me literally.

“My boy! House elf said you two are finally up, we were worried, you know” He winked at me. He saw!! Oh no, I shouldn’t try to obliviate him, his occlumency shield are pretty good and it may not work… and be noticed “Come on, Severus, how do you…” Why he’s shocked Severus is laughing? He’s a growing boy, he can smile friendly or maliciously whenever and at whoever he want. Pfff.

“Hello, professor” proper manners first, of course, I taught him along with Malfoys, impossible to not have them.

“Are you… Severus? Tom, you might have been right, he was definitely bothered! He was mostly silent and smiles barely in my class! Only on praise. Next time I will know when to say to you if something is wrong” he blurted it out… so it was **_wrong_** of me to assume Minerva wasn’t looking, she just never see him normal! Outside old fool… but even he did barely.

“ I’m sorry, professor? I’m not smiling in your class cause it is too easy, sir!” 

“Of course, my boy, I forgot you’re already on level of 3rd year, pardon my memory.” Okey, but why you’re here before I can come to say goodbye? I didn’t plan for it! “I was worried for nothing then. Anyway, stay healthy, both of you, we don’t want our future Ministry of Magic to catch a cold!” playful tone… he’s way to amused.

“Of course, I would infect everyone else in that case. Thanks for your worry, professor, but we’re already late. Only fast goodbye and we will be on our way”

I said so, but that fast took nearly one more hour. How much small talk those people like??!

Minerva was shocked how lively he is around me. All of them… Through Pomona said that his behavior got that turn after the first two weeks. Before they have focused on finding the culprit and keeping student from attacking Severus from the prank. I should have told him he’s allowed to defend as long as he try to find a teacher and have subtle revenge later! I forgets sometimes how clearly he listen to me.

Or maybe he did?

Now we’re finally home and the conversation time start.

“So, the potion?”

“I wanted to be the one to do it, by my own strength and on my own efforts. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have been so reckless.”

“Of course not, next time call me in to put protective barriers” Silly child, I will never forbade you to experiment. Just don’t risk your life, thank you in advance. And he’s gaping at me. I suppose people told him how angry I will be. Scared him for no reason, I would have skin alive people who let you experiment, not you. At worst you would get a 10 second crucio for being an idiot and only if you did it in idiotic manner or disobeyed me, which you didn’t. You weren’t even caught!

All fine, all fix, next.

“The leak of your info? Why never told me?” this one interest me the most as all others are coming from this.

“I didn’t thought it important, people were always talking… I didn’t realize when I started to remembered more and more details of that night… and more nightmares… and less wanting to talk with anyone except maybe Evan and Lucius? I was more focused on studies and I think I might have been tuning out people, so this won’t hurt me? I thought a lot about it today, but before… I don’t know why I thought nothing was happening.”

Ah, occlumency and your own mind trying to protect you stopped you from noticing, idiot. It explain a lot.

“Going to Potter?” this one is the worst offense, to be honest. I won’t ask why you didn’t come home, as I know already, but the reason for it I want to hear from your own mouth.

“I have no idea, it felt right at that moment and logical. I missed talking to Mr Potter and I wanted Sirius to get better Christmas than being alone…”

So it was opposite? HE wanted to take in Severus?! Wait, slow down, no anger, he still cares for that… man.

“Want to know your punishment, Severus?” he gulped. Of course you don’t want to.

“If I had to know, Tom, I suppose I should” at least he’s smiling, the brat, I prefer sinister one through, it’s so cute and occur before some great, little scheme.

**_“Nagini, you will guard him, not leave him for a moment, protect him and make sure he won’t hurt himself or get hurt by others. Make sure you don’t kill attacker if it were to happen, I want to have my fun too. And no one is supposed to talk to him without me!”_ **

**_“Yes, master, I will take care of young master. Has he learned to understand me yet, master?”_ **

**_“Not yet, it comes hardly to him, most important basic word he knows and understand, but he needs more time. Talk to him as much as you can, maybe some will get through this thick skull, lovely. “_ **

**_“Yes, master”_ **

After this, Nagini conveniently put herself around Severus, leaving little place to move. Her favorite good morning, I believe. Smiling, I says:

“You’re on probation, so Nagini will properly take care of you. Moreover, as I said before, for now no lab or visits without me. You are supposed to rest. Preferable your bed or in my room if you can’t sleep. I’m working anyway. Any other you’re supposed to ask me first. No letters to Evan, he helped you willingly, didn’t he? So he may be punished this way too. You can only read books I allow you and the one for school. There has to be some punishment for all your little antics, won’t you agree?” and the most important one… I did warn you! If you didn’t go to that blasted Potter…

“Understand, Tom, sir, um, is it all?’ He knows, huh? Hope dies the last so I smile maliciously and he’s aware. I will enjoy it, just know it.

I took out from a special box a collar, with my name and address on it, in the color of pink. He hates pink. In a one move of a wand, it is in his rightful place.

I have to add olive to fire, I think.

“Maybe pink clothes would suit you too?” and he’s begging for mercy or at least some other color, even red with gold.

So much fun as teasing him is, but a punishment is a punishment.

Pink is in fashion again anyway.

Somewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm depressed.  
> So I am depressed.  
> Enjoy...
> 
> Actually, this fanfic cheers me up :P


	25. What we thinks is not always true

_**Lucius’ pov** _

There is supposed to be a ball organized by the Dark Lord. Every single invitation was sent 3 months ago, we all know the real nature of this meeting, but… there is an unknown possibility.

Severus didn’t come back, I couldn’t find him on the train at all, Evan was told that he will join him later, but it never happened. And the Dark Lord was looking for him.

And didn’t find him.

Back then I did avoid displeasure. He was too angry at someone else.

Severus screw up big time this time. And he’s so young… Cruciatus will hurt, a lot. The only people happy with it were Bella and Mrs Black. Everyone else know that it will put the Dark Lord in bad mood and reflect on how much angry he will be at us. Evan actually can’t forgive himself. He’s metal wrack to say it. In his mind his lack of understanding killed his friend. No one heard from him for a week. Not even one letter.

Nothing.

Also no one was stupid enough to ask after the Dark Lord did come for tea two days after Yule and haven’t told a word about Severus.

Not even one.

Father is worried, considering if the young charge is alive and maybe only highly damaged.

Or dead.

Bella celebrates… and getting all ready for the ball.

I’m not in a mood through. I have to go anyway. Father told me to be patient as Mr Riddle did invest a lot in that boy. But for him, for the Dark Lord, he can be nothing more than a pet. This much father confirmed, so why had hopes? Hope is for fools, not for Malfoy.

So neither I or Cissy have any hope. We have mourned him silently while preparing for this hellish event.

I will miss my friend.

_**Abraxas’ pov** _

It is not that I dislike the kid.

He’s not bad for a half-blood, really talented, useful. To thought Tom could get rid of him just like that… I need to confirm it or I won’t sleep peacefully. This is the third meeting and the second tea and no words about him.

There were _always_ words about him. At least ten.

Now none. So I brace myself. I hate this Gryffindorish perspective, but if he could kill Severus, he won’t stop himself from killing us all when he understand that he lost him.

I would need to get Lucius out of country if it comes to it.

This man’s possessiveness has no barriers, he may be content with his death now, but tomorrow create hell on earth.

This is the one we follow after all, this much is expected of him if he really is to change this world.

But this quality turning on us is not the future we desire.

So I asked. To know and to save what is the most important to me.

“Tom?”

“Yes? Something to add about the next step?” I empty my mind, school my features and posture, hid the fear a little. Merlin, let it be fast.

“Is he dead?”

“Who? Dumbledore? Unfortunately, the very last time I saw him he was still breathing his precious air. It will be long before we take care of him, my friend. Silly question” he’s laughing, but he knows who I ask about. He’s playing.

“Then what of Severus?” direct question are never safe for Slytherin, but any other he will twist.

“What of him?” He looks puzzled but I know this gleam of insanity. Damn it all.

“I heard what he did and that you took him from Hogwart. If he’s dead, it is better to cover it fa…”

His magic destroyed his cup. Oh, _maybe I was wrong._

“Severus is in perfect condition, grounded and on probation and forbidden from sending or receiving letter or reading without consent. Why you believed him dead?”

I breathe easier. I didn’t know I was _so worried_.

“No, it is just… you always say something about him and no letters… I was just worried.”

He just smiles.

Like that, it’s cold here.

“Actually, I got to know all people there, students and teachers, know about his mother murder” I’m not breathing again, Mordred, he knows now “I know it is no one from Slytherin, I would find a person already” he adds dryly. “ The reason for all of your silence is understandable, but the fact is he started withdrawing and getting back into his ‘fear phrase’ I would appreciate telling me next time, friend. I won’t kill you for it, you’re aware? Never sent Bella through. She would wished this on him and I would kill her for it. She’s too talented to be killed like that so respect her life, hmm?”

“Yes, yes, Lucius has some suspicious, not real proof, but he’s practically sure he knows who. I didn’t ask through cause the disappearance of Severus… he was going to tell you personally, not by owl in case something was intercepted.”

He seemed contemplating it. A lot. And then smile, warmer this time. Honestly, too.

“Tell him he did a good job, then. I will wait for our meeting in the New Year. You can tell only your son and Orion about this, you understand it? It is also punishment to Rosier for helping Severus with potion. Thank you for the meeting and tea, Abraxas.”

“Thank you for dispersing my worries, Tom. Until New Year, then. “

I will be able to sleep today.

The last days were intolerable.

_**Orion's pov** _

It was a long week.

Very.

Only after Abraxas told me the truth, I could seriously relax. The moment kid is dead or leave him, he will try to mix plan A with B out of anger. It won’t do, we have too much to lose if it happens. Moreover… I don’t really wish his death, his blood aside, he’s a true Slytherin, when he wants to.

That is not always.

Such a little liar.

This is precisely the reason my wife, Walburga, hates him so much. His mother, Eileen, married muggle and gave life to a half-blood who is so much more what h/she would wish Sirius would be. He has affinity for dark magic, thirst for knowledge and ambition to be someone Tom can rely on. He can lie and tell the truth when needed, take his punishment without a words, understand situation and work out a logic behind reasons. He’s so talented that Tom gave him his attention and start to like him.

He’s all she would wish Sirius to be outside his blood, appearance and charm.

Son of blood traitor has the qualities her own lacks so much and is Slytherin, when our own betray our tradition and have gone to Gryffindor.

Worse, Regulus adore him and takes him as an example. Outside social skill, that is.

So she hate his mother for having a half-blood son who is so much more like a proper Black should be.

It infuriated her and she always try to find a fault to the boy and almost 80% of the time is outwitted. Tom taught him nicely. She should never underestimate him or treat a threat on Sirius level. I think I should have told her about mental arts of his, but… she would not live it down. Never.

Perhaps if I told her back then, she might even considered taking him in for his talent. That’s why I bet on over four hours. It was clear Tom is angry and won’t stop until it is all out of his system.

And his anger is never easy to stop.

That’s the reason we were all so worried.

For nothing, it seems. The kid behave like that because of additional trauma caused by people talking about his mother. No wonder Tom let it mostly be, outside of his little adventure to Potters. Where he took Sirius with him.

That kid…

I will talk with him if I can. I suppose coming an hour before time would give me the opportunity. Maybe. After all, going to blood traitor with Black’s heir who has gone to Gryffindor, is… not like him. Perhaps, he was more influenced than insinuated or just wanted to annoyed my dear wife. Better to know now before he make up another ‘genius’ plan.

Both Walburga and Regulus will come later with ours cousins. Bella is especially excited for this event. Silly girl.

But Black anyway, one of the more fitting, if a little insane.

Insanity is in our blood, after all.

“Hello, Tom, thank you for your invitation”

Smile properly, the game is on and if I don’t play it out well, the chance of talking to his pet are none existence.

“Welcome Orion, come in!” his eyes are shining strangely. _He knows_. Convenient, but also he can just say ‘no’ and it is that.

“I apologize for being before the time has come, but I would like to talk to Severus, if it is possible”

“Ah, of course, with me in there should be fine? And don’t come too close, Nagini is instructed to attack anyone who tries” he may be smiling, but I can feel the shiver passing though my spine. He’s leaving a child alone with that pet of his?

“Yes, of course, it won’t be a problem, can we? Your guest will soon start to come” and I don’t want to finish before I start talking because of it.

He just smiles and lead me to the room.

Upon opening the door, the view is taking away my breath. I am scared.

The snake, highly poisonous snake, is around a child, Severus, and he is leaning on it while casually reading a book. The snake which could easily ate him and he’s calmly reading book with it so close to him… I can’t help, but feel nauseated. For a moment, I forgot, what I was supposed to ask him about…

Finally, the child attention turns to us and he smiles warmly. As if that snake is nothing. And it is a honest smile…

“Tom? Mr Black, good afternoon, how do you do?” it takes a longer moment for me to comply my thoughts. Tom is laughing just fine before my back, only now I see he’s all pink and has a collar. Yes, he did finally go along with his treat.

And a snake.

“I’m fine, thank you for asking Severus, but I come to ask a few questions” his expression change to a little more guarded and subtly he looks at nodding Tom. At least I hope he nods. Then as if nothing he smiles in Slytherin way and is looking properly at me. Snake doesn’t seem to bother him at all.

“Of course, Mr Black, what can I help you with?” polite tone. Well, he knows what I will ask about anyway. Don’t look at the collar, I remind myself, he will feel your hesitation.

“It is about a visit to Potters you took my son to” his expression stays the same, but something in the eyes snaps “ Can you explain it? I’m sure you’re aware that either me or Walburga would allow it. So why would you take him with you without our blessing?”

I need to play more serious persona or he won’t answer easily.

“I was an idiot” what? He never started like that his explanation, ever. “I didn’t even asked Tom for permission and was afraid he will be angry and wanted to run away anywhere… To feel not so empty anymore. When headmaster said that Mr Potter want to have me over, it was… like a opportunity to do just that without having to confront Tom about that experiments” my house, indeed, you should feel ashamed as you do now. How Walburga let you fool her so easily is beyond me and you even make Sirius go along… “ so I decided to go, but I said to Sirius before that I will spent it with him as he is already in Hogwart alone and thought again about Mr Potter’s son and how much he dislike me so… I thought I could both keep my word and get Potter off my back. It even worked, he neither talk with me or was especially hostile after the first moment…” this coming from him must be true, after all he share Tom’s gift.

“I’m sorry for insulting you and Mrs Black by imposing myself and my reasons on your son” he’s bowing his head in shame… Merlin, as it is your fault, you did what Slytherin would, self-preservation and all, my son agreed and let you use him and use you to get there.

It seems I am suppose to have a talk with that troublesome idiot about it.

“Next time remember to ask Tom for permission or you will have to wear this pink collar more often” now teasing him a little to lighten a mood. He feels sorry enough for it no matter how I look.

He only gets redder on his face after hearing this comment and hug the snake to hid his face.

**_Merlin, what did I do?_ **

I’m sure I have clear panic in my expression, but Tom stops me from coming closer.

“Don’t worry, Orion, he’s fine” there is a danger in his eyes. He wants me not to interfere. “ Severus, you remember you’re forbidden from leaving your room?” boy nod once, still hiding his face _there_. “Good, if you need something, tell Coopy what is it or to ask for me. Have a good evening” He’s closing in, ignoring that highly poisonous snake and hugging him once. The boy only nod and after Tom is started to leave, he stops paying attention to us and going back to book.

“Is he really fine with being here alone? “I don’t add with that snake, obviously. “I know I have no reason to make any comments, but won’t book bored him?”

And he laughs. _What did I miss?_

“I let him read this book only tonight so he won’t get bored. He’s on probation from free literature as well. Worse he will try to read it all tonight. He wouldn’t want to come if he can’t talk with anyone anyway. Would you?” he asked innocently… so this is his punishment as well? For going to Potter, for sure… and that snake… but better it will be not to comment anymore so I only nod and hope his more poisonous pet won’t eat his likeable one.

May Abraxas’ come here fast.

I need to have a drink or two tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeej  
> ho  
> :***


	26. Twisting oneself

**_Evan’s pov_ **

It’s my fault.

_He might be dead._

_He might be dead._

_He might be dead._

_He might be dead._

_He might be dead._

_He might be dead._

_He might be dead._

_He might be dead._

I should have just kidnapped him! I didn’t thought… He was never that reckless… And now everyone think he’s dead. He must be. He’s lost and I have no more interesting friend and I will be bored forever and I will never forgive myself…

_He’s dead cause I didn’t see that he wanted to stay…_

It’s sure now, he’s nowhere to be seen on this party.

And Bella is gloating around about ‘the trash having been threw away’.

**I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her…**

_Father dearest_ ordered me to shut up about _that half-blood_. He’s scared too. Everyone who has a brain cell are. And now it is going to be a train to hell…

_Or not?_

Lucius is smiling in my direction? He wouldn’t if Sev was dead. He’s smiling specially…

 _He knows he’s safe_ or at least alive. He’s in whole piece. Possible.

Oh Merlin, he’s fine.

**he’s fine.**

**he’s fine.**

**he’s fine.**

**he’s fine.**

**…**

So I can relax a little later. But not here. Not until I’m out of the Dark Lord’s gaze. If he didn’t tell everyone he must be still angry and making him angrier is bad for my Severus.

So I will act my role and be happy home.

Merlin, I can’t wait for school to see Severus again.

_I will be so bored until then._

_**Lucius' pov** _

Party itself was rather… normal. The level of violence was not high (even afterwards for the special ones – Death Eaters ) and I can certainly said I did enjoy the presence of Naricissa Black, the youngest daughter of Cygnus Black’s. We’re probably going to be engaged as soon as I’m out of Hogwart, at least that was an arrangement between my Father and hers.

After getting to know that Severus is in fact still alive, it was much, much more bearable. No matter his state. It can’t be too good if Orion Black, who supposedly has a talk with him if you are to believe Regulus and his eavesdropping abilities’ , is actually nearly drunk, being accompanied and covered by my Father.

Asking now is not an option anyway. The Dark Lord seems amused by it, in fact. And in a good mood. _He_ has danced with many, among them my pretty company’s crazy sister, who still believe she can get into _His_ bed.

Yes, she’s engaged too.

And disgusting, but I can’t say it aloud, can I?

Evan, thankfully, properly interpreted my little message and stop looking around at people with murderous gaze while searching for his ‘wife’. Actually, he managed to stay neutral and ‘not happy’, but I’m fairly sure _He_ has noticed… Not all did. Evan is quite good at hiding his intention and if you don’t know him enough, you won’t see the difference too easily.

It does not matter to Legilemens through.

I hope _He_ didn’t read his mind or even looked at Evan today yet.

I can hope.

As in a few minutes I am supposed to give _Him_ my report on how that information get out. I wonder what will he do without any ground for sue… And additional difficulties.

Being unnerved is normal when you talk with _Him_ as not _Mr Riddle_ , but **_Lord Voldemort_**. It is a gamble then.

Worse, **Bella** has her own report to give along with mine. No luck today, not at all.

“Welcome, Lucius, Bella, let’s skip the formalities and tell me what you know”

Fine, I will start. Not that I have a choice, _He’s looking right at me_.

“My lord, the one who told everyone was a son of Fleamont Potter, or so my evidence shows” I stop and wait for the motion of hand to continue. “He wasn’t the one to continue talking about it, I heard some mudblood, Lily Evans was her name, has criticized them all and many back off. The higher years through… They told other houses and from there anyone. There were and still are many people, who wants to have a go at him. He never responded publicly” I heard Bella’s snorting in disgust… that woman. But _Him_ only nodded and having a feeling _He_ will say something, I stopped in time my continuation.

“As he was supposed to. I forbade him attacking another students publicly. He was to defend himself as much as he could, tell the teacher and then eventually take his revenge subtly. Not that he would tell you or anyone for that matter if he did. He knows the meaning of subtlety” Right now _He_ ’s smiling and Bella stare in disbelief. She really didn’t see the common agreement, that the boy is alive, that was around by the third hour of the party? My face alone let it slip…

“My lord, you’re right as always, he didn’t confide any of it in either me or Evan. He was a little distant lately, to be honest, and…” before I could finished, he raised his hand as if to signal that it is enough.

“I’m aware, it is already taken care of” now his gaze was on Bella “ Bella, dear, how many of your year mates is sympathetic to our cause?”

When she heard ‘dear’ she purred herself in pleasure, ugh I’m disgusted , and started giving names, describing conversation and facts even I didn’t hear about… Living in female’s dormitory were useful for her at least once then. After she finished her report, he gave her, and by extension me, another task.

“After going back to Hogwart, your mission is to teach everything of your role to Lucius. He will take it over from his six year. Don’t omit anything or I will know” one would think she should be more scared of him… not proud from this threat. Crazy people are abnormal. “This is all, you’re dismissed, you can either stay to enjoy a party or leave, your choi..”

Suddenly, a house elf appeared. What? The nerve of them!

“Master, Cooply thinks young master may need master, so Cooply come to inform Master”

Severus? Bella looks livid, as to curse the creature, but the Dark Lord stand up and go out from his study. And we after him of course. It is an occasion to see if Severus has all limbs attached to his body and I think _He_ knows of this little desire of mine already as _He_ ’s not ordering us to stay.

Reasons for Bella going are unknown to me. It won’t do any good anyway.

I remember it being his room… So not cell at the very end.

We didn’t enter after the Dark Lord. _He_ might have left it open, but _He_ didn’t invite us. I barely stopped Bella from doing it, all in order to not cause her sister pain. We could hear just fine from here…

“Severus? I heard there is a problem? Did you manage to put yourself on fire?” isn’t it playful?

“Tom? But I didn’t… Everything is fine. Actually I just finished a chapter and wondered if it is possible to create a false feeling!” _He_ chuckled at that. Maybe _He_ ’s not angry at him anymore…?

“Don’t be silly, so far no one has managed to do it. Maybe because few people possess more than basic occlumency or legilimency skills and even less both. Or did you get any ideas?”

Heh?

“I was wondering actually, can you create a false memory?”

“Yes, this much is possible. Even not that hard, for me at least. What of it?” not that hard…

“Then if you makes yourself believe in it, twist your perspective, then won’t the emotion be real and false at the same time too? I mean, is it possible to lie to oneself that way? Change ones’ mindset with the mix of occlumency and a legilemency?”

Now there was silence.

He was silent for longer than a moment. Contemplating, examining the possibility thought up by 11 years old boy…

“It may be, actually. The amount of concentration, self-control, capability of changing one’s mind… of manipulating ones mind... the person would have to have been mastered to very high level in both occlumency and legilemency, also to be able to keep the concentration needed for it to last… And it would have little chance to work under a stress. Instead of creating false memory, I would rather alter a little actual one. Cut out a scene from a memory and make it look like something completely different. It would have higher chance of success in fact. Like 20%. Creating a false memory and then feeling out of it would be like 5%? And only for the best of bests, natural of course and long experience too. But…” Are they talking about creating new way of deceiving or I am hearing wrongly? “ But you’re way too young for such a thoughts, if you dare to experiments with your own mind…”

I can feel the threat from here… How much worse is it there?

“It was just a thought, I can’t even stopped reading people, Tom, I thought it would be an interesting topic for research one day”

Severus all the way.

And the Dark Lord laugh… I forgot how much he’s laughing around Severus, with me being in Hogwart most of the time…

Bella is ready to kill. I suppose she don’t like anyone being able to call _Him_ by name. Calm down, idiot. _He_ will kill you.

“Okey, Severus, don’t you think it is too late, already? I remember the fact of you having to rest, wasn’t you suppose to?” I suppose our idiot boy either nodded or shrugged. No noise yet.

 _ **“SsssSsSsSsSsssSsSSSSsssSSssSSssSSsssssSssSSSs** **…**_ Come on, let’s get you to sleep. Or maybe something better first”

What?

Wait, Isn’t it his room?

But the Dark Lord was already out smiling with Severus in his arms trying to wriggle his way out and be on his own feet…

“Tom, I can move on my…” he froze when he saw me and Bella and got all embarrassed and red. Wait, is it a pink collar? AND a big snake trailing behind them?

“No, you’re so much trouble you’re incapable of that, if Cooply came for me, it would be because you won’t go on your own”

“But we’re leaving my room and my bed!” _He_ only laughed at that.

“Who said you’re staying there tonight? You said way too many things you could possible experiment on your own while pretending to sleep, so I am taking you with me. I’m sure guests would be delighted to see you in your pajamas, hmm?”

Severus is horrified by the thought and stopped moving altogether.

Circe, Severus, I’m sorry. I can’t help you, keep safe, my friend. Don’t look at me like this!

“Lucius, Bella, we’re moving, you’re not going to stay there until the morning, do you?”

“Yes, my Lord” we both have said. She’s more conscious at least now. I don’t want Narcissa to lose her sister in a ‘sad accident’. Severus surely understand what is going to happen and is trying to apologize and promise to go to sleep immediately, but to no avail. _He_ won’t let him back to his room for whatever reason or even let him down…

I think _He_ don’t want to embarrass him, whatever my thoughts are worth. Father once told me that **_‘Mr Riddle is extremely possessive of his things’_**. I think I understand it more now. _He’s_ excited with the thesis Severus just put before him. _He’s_ feeling so happy _He_ don’t want to let him go. As if it would give an opening for anyone to take Severus away. I don’t presume to understand either Dark Lord’s or even Severus’ head, it is pointless.

One thing is sure through.

Severus is _His_ and no one has the right to touch him without _His_ permission. It is a presentation. Warning for idiots who don’t know yet.

Once I thought that having my Father’s and _His_ praise is a good fortune. I was wrong. The boy has no choice, even less than me, in his life and no way to ever free himself. The moment _He_ claimed him as _His_ own, his future was forsaken.

Definitely, I’m not jealous of you, Severus.

_Not at all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm becoming predicable it hurts... but as long as you enjoy it, it is fine! I certainly enjoyed writing this one :3  
> sooo  
> Hope it is up to the standard and to the next one :*  
> Next one we're back to hogwart, the meeting won't be shown as it would be silent. No one would dare to make a comment and Severus is forbidden for now to talk :PP Plus I need to leave some things for your imagination too XDD  
> Have a nice day ^^


	27. Home visitation - part one

**_Sirius’s pov_ **

Christmas break was over.

To be honest, I was fairly worried for him, for Severus that is. He has gone home next the day and we make up some excuse of him refusing to go to Mr Potter as to not anger Riddle, but… We don’t even know if he’s fine. How could he? The way he was looking at us…

And Severus was not on the train.

I couldn’t find him, so I had to asked someone I wasn’t in mood to talk to, Evan.

But he didn’t know either, said Severus might come back later a little cause of some circumstances. Apparently he saw him in New Year. Looks unconcerned, but… nervous?

Asking Malfoy was a pain, but he might have known more, he’s older and prefect or so I thought. He didn’t, just ask me why I care and to sod off. In nicer words.

So as any normal person would, I have gone with my worries to my head of house. She said they were informed and she will go check up him and to confirm a few more specifics details.

So there is no reason to be worried about, then. McGonagal will take care of it.

By the end of a day, I have never thought about it again.

**_Minerva’s pov_ **

There must be something for us to do! We can’t wait until he decides he will mercifully let him back here. The boy needs to learn and be among his peers. I know we made many overlooks, now all professors were informed of his little… conditions and to be extra patient and understanding when it comes to his behavior.

And there was no answer from Tom Riddle until now.

Nothing at all.

“Headmaster, we need to go and talk with him, then. He can’t neglect Mr Snape’s education. He may be his guardian, but not the boy himself. I will go to talk with them, visit and see how Mr Snape is doing. Relying only on his judgment is not enough.” See my point, Albus!

Tom cares for him, yes, but he was brought up in orphanage and was deciding about his wizarding choice from the beginning. He’s not giving the same chance to his ward.

“Are you sure, Minerva? Such a visit is not safe… Should I go?” No way, there won’t be a visit then, but a fight.

“Surely, Albus, you know you can’t. You will start a fight if it is only you two, no idea which one of you will attack first, but the child will stand by his guardian. You could have hurt or even killed him!” there was a faint sighting of pain on his face for a second. I hope he understand it. I trust him, but it is too risky.

“Alright then, but be extremely careful, dear. Be sure to pass my greeting to Mr Snape and says we’re waiting for his return.”

I nodded and have gone to sort the things out before this visit.

Getting in was quite a difficulty, his house elf wanted so many proofs of my identity that I got angry in the end. He let me in.

Under the oath of not attacking anyone in the house without provocation, of course.

So I was in.

It seems the reason I wasn’t greeted by the owner was his absence. So he left Severus alone. After pointing out the constant care. Typical of men.

“Can you notify Mr Riddle of my presence? And where is the room of Severus Snape?” I ask the creature. I don’t want to waste my time on searching.

“Miss forgive, but young master is in the room of master, master is not sure young master would not try to experiment, so he don’t let him out of his gaze. This way is master’s bedroom.”

Experiments? His bedroom? Surely, the child could be just told not to do it. I don’t argue with house elf through and go straight to his presumable location.

He’s in the bed. Tom’s bed, if it is his bedroom…

“Tom? I’m not doing anything! Just reading, really!” he says as on reaction. Why would he? “You’re not Tom.. Professor, what you’re doing here…”

“Checking out when you’re coming back to us. Today the lessons are starting again, you know?”

He looks horrified.

“Um, professor, can we go to the living room? Tom hates when someone not invited even open this door, not to mention go in…”

This is a reason for his fear? The room look neat and not especially personal.

“Then maybe your room? We don’t know how much until your guardian is back”

“NO, he hates anyone entering there even more, puts a lot of wards and it is not safe to try to enter there without him! Only I can.. Professor, living room is a good choice, please, don’t make Tom angry, he’s eating badly when he’s angry!!”

You’re terrified that Tom will not eat properly? ‘He is your guardian, not the other way’ would be my answer normally, but insulting the child’s caretaker this way is not a good idea. Especially for so protective eleven years old.

So I nod and hope Tom will be here shortly.

The house elf, another one, brings us tea and some sweets and for him breakfast. He’s eating in silence and I notice something pink…

**Is it a collar?**

“Mr Snape, what do you have on your neck!?”

“This? It is an address and name to which I am to be returned the next time I disappear, kind of punishment for experimenting plus protection. It was embarrassing in the beginning, but now everyone saw it during the New Year, so it doesn’t matter anymore. The worst is color! I hate pink…”

“Child, no one has the right to put something like this on you!”

“Why? It has many protective spells and a way to alert if I’m having a panic attack or something similar. It was supposed to be a ring, but… I didn’t want jewelry and said I can tell him myself, so Tom bought it as a tease. And charmed. After I come home, there were errands he needed to do, so I wear it to alert him just in case. He’s in process of getting another, more normal one to wear in school, but material is special, not many can withstand that level of charms, so I had to do with it for a moment, as Tom don’t trust me. Obviously, I didn’t tell him about my nightmares and growing depression and emptiness, so he’s angry a little. And for experimenting and endangering myself too.”

Why something so immoral is being told by this child as positive and useful?! It is impossible to even think! I need more than a word with Tom.

“He shouldn’t anyway. It was wrong of Tom to do it”

And the atmosphere changed.

If someone would ever told me the eleven years boy can look at you murderous, I wouldn’t believe it.

Now I am witnessing it.

His eyes grow even darker, he wasn’t blinking at all, magic around him made the air cold and I could feel his mind puncturing mine. If he had wand, I have no illusion that he would try to hex me.

Instead…

“Severus!? What happened, alarm is… up. Professor McGonagal, what a pleasure” he’s looking and speaking as always charming, but his eyes are just as cold as his ward’s. If not more.

In opposition, Severus’ eyes got back its warm after seeing Tom… how could child love so much someone so cold inside?

“Tom!! She was saying not nice things about you! Lies, lies, lies, lies!!”

“Calm down, Severus, I’m sure it has to do with your ‘collar’, right?” nod “ It is fine, normally it is wrong to do it. When the object arrive, we will exchange it and this pink little treasure would be only in action again if you lost another. Okey?” he nods frantically now. And is calm… “Minerva, you come to talk about his education, right? Then Severus is not needed for this conversation. Can you go to your or mine room and have a nap? You were reading late yesterday, remember? We have a next chapter of history to work out tonight as well” He smiles, as if he didn’t put it on him, and the boy smiles back? And goes without a second-guessing him? What did he do to this child.

“Huh, argue a little about other things than academic sometimes, it would be refreshing” it is no more than a whisper… but is it a trap or genuinely concern? It is hard to tell with this man.

“So… no notification beforehand and just getting into my house without permission, investigating my ward and making assumption. What else should I add to my sue?” he asked me casually as he does not put a collar on his charge!

“I think there is more important crime here. Degradations of a human being like that…”

“I NEVER DID SUCH A THING TO SEVERUS, HOW DARE..”

Heh?

What just happened…?

He has never screamed. Not even once during school.

Or in politics.

Never.

**_Silence_ **

_Me- thinking_

_Him- calming down_

“Pardon me, Minerva, it was rude. I will start by saying it is not against law if you want to know as long as it is protective. Your morality I care nothing about. Secondly, it is for his safety which matters to me, I don’t know about you. Finally, you will not come here and makes rude assumption when you didn’t do anything about Potter’s brat revealing such a harmful information about my ward. You’re not suggesting a protective item, no matter the shape, is worse than informing all school of his trauma for them to taunt?”

What?

“Insinuating about a charming, cheerful and well-behaved child will get you nowhere, Tom!!”

How could he just accused one of my Gryffindor for such a thing?

“You want an evidence, please, have a copies! The real ones are in Ministry to ensure my Severus will go nowhere near this boy ever again. Either Potter’s home or to be paired in the class. Moreover, during the classes they are to be in two different corners. I’m sure you will receiving information about it soon enough”

I can’t believe it, but… this does not look falsified. As if he read my mind, he added:

“If you don’t believe me, I heard that one of your muggle-born student, Lily Evans, was defending my Severus and actually told them to face how awful it is to even say it. I believe she knows a little about what happened **_there_** , after checking her out I confirmed that she lives in the same area. You don’t have to believe me. There is plenty of evidence anyway.”

His tone mocking and his confidence is overwhelming.

He knows he has a reason to be too.

“I still don’t agree with your ‘methods’. I come here to talk about his coming back to Hogwart. When are you going to deem him ready?” I wanted to come here believing that he cares, but I can no longer does so. Not the way normal person would anyway. It does express in my voice. I’m no occlumens.

His eyes flashed with something strange.

“I don’t think I want him to go back… yet. He has to get better hold of legilemency, to be honest, and I want to observe him a little more. You should already see he’s much calmer around me. He has already the material for first year in one finger, his ban on other books made him re-read his school one so many times he can practically recite it.”

“Ban on books? Why?”

“To not give him ideas. I let him read only one book on New Year and he already has 5 different ideas about dangerous research and also 5 ideas how to hurt himself thoughtlessly in the process. So I don’t think him ready to go back.” This man is impossible, if he’s fine, he should go! But before I can say it… “ I don’t care for your opinion, professor McGonagal, you know nothing of him, you don’t understand anything and you couldn’t even find a culprit on your own! He’s not going back until I make sure he won’t have to have anything to do with James Potter and this is final. Go to Ministry and sue me for being worried for my ward for all I care. I can assure you that in a two weeks the matter would be resolved and he would be back. Personally, I don’t believe it is your problem, I will contact professor Slughorn about the details myself. Is it all?”

His overwhelming presence… I forgot from ours school time, how truly dangerous he is and how easily he can dominate someone in both fight and conversation… Like Albus.

I have nothing more to say. Nothing I can add to change the outcome. Only talking with Severus could alter anything, but… If I try to enter his room, would Tom stay calm?

No.

He wouldn’t.

Severus was never concerned about himself.

He was scared for me.

I need to talk with Albus, things can’t stay like that.

I’m leaving that house with a lot of more determination then when I was entering it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was to be predicted, after all it is not a poor child who should be check up -> his guardian is someone so people cares more and if there is something, it is a big case. Life in itself.   
> Hope I didn't bored you guys yet!  
> Have a good day :3


	28. Home visitation - part two

**_Me:_ **

Everyone present were having a grim expression.

In the room was a woman known as Minerva McGonagal, Lord Fleamont Potter and Headmaster of Hogwart, Albus Dumbledore.

The topic wasn’t cheerful.

“A collar? But… and no one did anything?” ask a younger man.

“Unfortunately, not. The item is registered as protective and was authorized but ministry around 2 years ago. It seems it wasn’t used so far, as the ministry had the date of it being used recently. _Legally._ ”

“You mean he put it on him like an animal! He didn’t take it off because for him my morals matters not!” the woman said. She was extremely furious, as if ready to attack the enemy.

“Tom always could have easily obtain things by his words and charisma…”

“Albus, is there not a way to get him out of there by using human right?”

“Not as long as for the child it is acceptable. He didn’t say anything about it, did he?”

“Opposite, he was angry at me being angry at Tom! He corrupted that child, Albus. And I believed his words back at Yule! How could he…”

The younger man was thinking hard.

“Won’t the fact he wanted to spent time at my home help in at least ‘taking him away for vacation’? Surely, it would show that he has no trouble with being somewhere else”

“It is impossible, Fleamont” said quietly Minerva. She looked as she dreaded this conversation.

“ What do you mean? Why?” both man looks at her surprised.

“The one, if his evidence are true, who told about his traumatic experience was James… No office would ever let your son be near him as long as Tom makes a good show of the harm done”

The silence could bounce from the wall after it. The only voice heard for some time was a phoenix trying to cheer up the shocked father. Headmaster looked disbelieved as well.

“Surely you’re mistaken, such a good-natured and cheerful child would not possible do something so cruel” the man is saying as if trying to persuade himself it was not a possibility.

“It can’t be… James would say it? Because of a prank he would say someone’s painful secret? I can’t believe it… What are the chances of it being falsified? The evidence?”

“If they are, then it is a bluff to buy more time, but… he was confident. Too confident that he can make sure Severus would never go anywhere near you, not James who he took for granted. Didn’t Albus said once that he is trying to isolate you completely from influencing him? Then, it might be a perfectly done evidence against you. Through it is only theory, with no grounds…”

“I suppose I will go then” All eyes were on headmaster now.

“Albus? But…”

“Don’t worry Minerva, I can manage it. As long as it is politics we’re talking about, I am more than capable of keeping with his lies. Better than anyone. Fleamont, can you talk with James to confirm or deny it? It will be important for our next move to know for sure. “

“I will ask Miss Evans too. He said she has told them off… her testimony may be important”

“Do it, dear, I will be on my way to sent information then. If I try to come unwelcomed, it would end up worse than for you.”

This way another game was up. Who will be victorious this time around?

**Albus’ pov**

My hopes were too high. But it all confirmed one thing.

The reason there is no open war now is this existence in your life, Tom. You’re trying another way and you’re succeeding because you’re doing it with him in mind. You don’t want to be a monster in his eyes.

But your love, the one I deemed impossible to exist, is so twisted it cannot be called love anymore. It will never properly heal this boy wounds, I suppose it is way too late for it. We should have fought more. You could always differ the diamonds about stones, didn’t you? With you being one of them.

You were right about a boy.

As I were right about you.

As I was wrong about him.

As you are wrong about it all.

Coming in on such a short notice, when Tom has an important meeting in the Ministry. It seems I will have a chance to meet a boy alone. After all this time.

House elf was got rid of with a fast oath. I wonder why…

So now? Tom’s bedroom then? As Minerva showed me in her mind, this door. The child was lying on a bed, it seems, he was not alone through. A big, venomous snake was around him too…

**_Bad move, Tom._ **

Your mistake, my gain, they say.

The moment snake saw me, it was going to rip at me, but I have wand out already along with a shield ,but before any other spells were used…

 ** _“sSss”_** _he said_.

And I froze.

It was a hiss, parseltongue…

Like Tom.

Another child like him.

Another future disaster. Should he be stopped now? Do I have a right to judge someone so young for the future I foresee? For the future I see through experience of the past, of Tom?

Where are the good qualities of this child which hat wanted to put into Gryffindor at the first thought?

His concern, true care, helping those who asked politely and genuinely needs help, not forgetting another, being polite and not arrogant, doing his best not to attack back and holding back on legilimency…

Yes, that child is still here. But the problem too. And we need to find solution fast.

“Aaah, headmaster! You startled her! You can’t do it, she can be quite dangerous if you do it! Ciii, everything alright, I’m alright, nothing bad happened, no one want to hurt anyone…” he was talking to this snake so… warmly? So full of care and worry? “Sir, what are you doing here? Tom had a bad mood after yesterday’s visit of professor McGonagal. Why would you come?”

The collar indeed is there. And snake.

Guardian for prisoner or defender of what you considered yours?

Probably both.

“It’s because her visit was not successful that I am here, child. I heard your room does not take in quests so where we can wait? Surely, not here?”

Let’s probe a little.

What would you say to me?

“You’re already know from professor about not entering here or my room, so why would you ask, headmaster? It’s stupid.” I… never thought he can be this _clever_ and _blunt_. Were he always? As an nearly 7 years old, he might be considered more understanding than most, but I believed it to be the side effect of legilemency…

“I thought it is always better to hear things myself and then believe than just take something for granted. What about you?”

“I think you’re trying to make me angry by undermining Tom, so stop. We can talk in the living room, come on, Nagini!”

“Not palsentouge? Surely, she would listen better”

“I shouldn’t tell you… but you saw so know I only know few words. I’m just as much incapable in it as you are in not eating sweets, headmaster”

I chuckled at it. Interesting theory, indeed, but no one can use palsentouge without any natural affinity. Only handful with the most connection to the right ancestor has it as a second nature like Tom. The bloodline matters in that as the most important part.

“Well, yes, we’re all worried about collar and the situation of your studies. Have Tom told you when you’re coming?”

“Nope, he will tell me when I had to know, before it would be pointless as I would be waiting for seeing Evan more lividly. How is school, headmaster?”

Ah, guestion for guestion, it seems. Slytherin of you, child.

“Only a few new pranks from our troublemakers from Gryffindor, I believe one is your friend?” asking is getting knowledge. And knowledge is power.

“No, we’re not, we’re just acquaintance who were suffering his mother’s talking together when Tom was out of country and Lucius at Hogwart. I’m more friendly with Reg, he’s actually _talking_ to me, sir. For Siri, I would be last resort to beat the boredom. Why you’re robes are so awful?” casualty with which he said it all is worrisome.

“I believe them to be wonderful, my boy! So no friends? Surely you have some.”

“Define friend” he answer and ask the same. Interesting child, indeed.

“Someone you talk to and don’t want to hex.”

“Impossible, I have no one outside of Tom like that. Change definition for more for the Slytherin, please. Besides Gryffindors’ hex their friends too from time to time and you’re Gryffindor, sir, so say it properly this time” little I would know of this side of him a few days ago. We really didn’t see him yet, did we?

“Someone you enjoy talking to?” this is the most basic one, so what is the answer now?

“Tom, Evan, Mr Potter, Lucius, Narcissa, Mr Black, Mr Malfoy, Nagini and Evans I think…” Snake? And that sweet and intelligent muggleborn girl? Do Tom know you’re talking with her, I wonder?

“I’m not sure about Evans as she talks to me mostly and I don’t really want to hex her all the time, only often, and for me it is a lot. For some reason she always comes to my table in library, when Evan is sleeping on the floor between sections. And she talk a lot, warmly too, so I do answer from time to time. Even Evan I want to hex few times a day. Or Lucius who is my oldest not adult friend… I never wanted to hex Tom. Why you need to know?”

“We wish to know you better next term, the more we know where to look, the better.” This sensation and unfriendly magic… “It seems the host is back… thank you for this pleasurable conversation, Severus”

“Yessir, it is no--..”

“Severus! Get away from him! You had no right to come here without me being present two days in a row!!! Get out! Now. Come back to my office if you really want to talk. Never. Again. My. Home. “

Ah, he’s furious. It seems no talk today. If Severus wasn’t here, there would be blood shred today…

“Then until tomorrow, Tom” now some goodbye are in order as well “ See you another time, Severus, thank you for this meaningful conversation” and so with a smile I left the house. I got enough information without talking to Tom yet. All may not be important to the case of collar, but overall, vastly so.

**Minerva’s pov**

“Miss Evans, can we talk?” She looked disoriented and confused. She must be wondering if she did something wrong. Ah, to be young and so carefree. “ You’re not in trouble, I just had a few question for you. Can you come with me?” she nod and I lead her to my office. It is not a conversation for classroom.

“Please, sit down” waiting until she makes herself comfortable before continuing “I wanted to ask you about the circumstances around the rumors of the first year Slytherin, Severus Snape. I heard you might have some sensitive information about it”

She’s biting her lips… Guilty conscience, so one of my Gryffons has did it…

“I.. Professor, I don’t think I should…”

“Miss Evans, we’re aware more or less who is the suspect, I also got the information of your admirable defense of your classmates and I wish you to tell me the truth. It will save us a lot of time. So? Can you help me? “ this is admirable house loyalty as well, but we need to know. For all side’s benefits. If I never have gone and it would come down like that… we need to know to be prepared.

“Yes, professor, it was not fair to say it because of a hair changing color while he did it only to pet a phoenix! I might have done it too if it was a reward!!”

Oh, wait, no, don’t.

“Miss Evans, it is not a point, how do you know it? Mr Snape told you?” are they friendly or…?

“No, his friend, Evan, did. He don’t like me, but he says ‘I’m going to tolerate you as long as Sev does’. A little creepy guy, he is. But the nickname is cute, don’t you think, professor? And Severus don’t really brag about anything else outside his research or spells or potion. Evan calls him workaholic to fault. And is worried of him coming back too. He said it to me today that with all those visit, his guardian might pull him off! It’s terrible, professor! Can’t we do something? I don’t want to lose my only Slytherin friend…”

I’m shocked and probably visible paler. We never really considered that he would truly pull him off? But enraged Tom Riddle… and with Albus there…

Merlin.

“So you’re friends, Miss Evans?” I had to keep myself together, we are still not even at the topic.

“I do consider him such. Evan said it will take a longer time for him to call me one, but I have a chance as I’m not an idiot and I’m actually thinking. It was the first praise ever I got from him. And the last one too. Anyway, professor, the thing is… you know already? I don’t want my housemates thinking I’m selling one of them.” I sign, let’s make it easy then.

“I will say the name then and you either shake your head as no or nod as yes, can you do it?”

“Yes, professor” she’s still nervous…

“James Potter”

And she nodded…

**Fleamonts’ pov**

“Oj, Potter, your dad is here!”

This is not the most elegant way to pass the information, shouting that is, but I suppose it is sufficient.

I don’t want to have this conversation. I hope it is all misunderstanding.

Let it be one, please.

“Dad? What are you doing at Hogwart?” James, you are…

“And why you’re so dirty? It looks as if you’re practicing some unpleasant spell.”

“We do! We’re helping our friend with getting hold of one, he’s a bit timid and need help, he’s name is Peter. You remember I mentioned him!? He’s my friend now!”

I smile. What parent wouldn’t when his child is making friends so eagerly? But then I remembered why I am here…

“James, we have to talk now, can your friends leave us in the room alone for a moment? It is important”

He looks a little confused and suspicious, but goes back and in a moment the three of them, one with a book, Lupin is his surname I believe, come into the common room. To be young again… I hope James has as much fun from Hogwart as he can.

It takes a while to become comfortable and get over the dread in my stomach.

“The reason I am here… There is a case in Ministry against you, James” he looks shocked and terrified. We need to get to the bottom of this through. “ It says that you revealed sensitive information I shouldn’t have given you in the first place about another student. What do you know about it?”

“Nothing!” but I can see when you twist a truth a little. You’re not honest now.

“It is important James, they wouldn’t put a case without evidence so tell me the truth. Did you tell your housemates about Severus’ life from before his guardianship, about his trauma?”

Please, say no, tell me who did it, don’t be the one…

“I… might have let it slip after he pranked us! With the hair in colors of Slytherins!! It was so insulting and emotions were high, everyone was angry and… it just… slip up. I didn’t think they would make such a case of it. It is not that he is the one who did it! I kind of understand it only after Evans scream at us… but it was too late. I hoped it would die out soon, but there were strange accident about things working weird or people being tripped some time after they have made fun of him… He was attacking us, dad! Shouldn’t we protect ourselves?!”

Oh James, why…

“James, he’s not completely out of the trauma, any time anyone has said something, about his old home or mother… he was getting worse, his mental condition were worsening so fast that he started to hide it all. I never told you about his abilities, did I? If you could feel like someone feels about you and it was negative, on top of being remembered of that trauma, would you stay still? He can, sweetie. There are consequences of every action we take, James. You can’t avoid it all. I will help you always as much as I can as I love you. You’re my son, but what you did was wrong. The reason of him not coming back yet is the psychological damage done by this all. Headmaster does not know if he comes back at all” 

I can see him being ashamed and horrified. I suppose it finally hit you. I was trying to explain as good as possible before, but maybe I overestimate his maturity. He’s more of a child. Talking with Severus can make you think that elevens years are more mature and intelligent than that, but… it is wrong. He was forced to stop being a child long ago. If he ever was…

Now, what I am to do…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, some bad things will soon happen, so be ready.  
> No, not next.  
> but soon :")


	29. Back to Hogwart!

_**Sev's pov** _

Tom hates headmaster.

Now I’m sure of it. He was so angry he didn’t even wait for a five minutes, he picked me up (again!) and go out with saying to Nagini to stay. I can tell another word in their language, ‘Stay’, so I know. No point in trying to get back on my feet. If I am back on the ground by the end of a day, it will be miracle.

He’s that angry at headmaster for coming and talking with me…

Maybe I shouldn’t talk with him at all, but Tom never said it and the conversation is a polite thing to do I was taught and I get to know a few thinks.

He’s a manipulator ( like Tom) for one.

He wants to use a fact of seeing Nagini for second.

And he also hates or at least dislike Tom…

So if he dislike Tom, I will dislike him too. Eventually, as it is still a guess. He was more sad when thinking about Tom than actually hateful. He may be empty, but his expression change for a moment. Fleeting one, but it did. After I spoke in ‘palsentougue’. If you can call it a speaking in the first place. 

So Tom, being angry, took me and flooed to Grimuald Place. Both Mr Black and Mrs Black were surprised and sent Regulus to his room as Tom has never come this way and without a proper announcement beforehand, but Tom’s expression told them enough not to ask yet.

It would tell anyone to shut up.

After a tea, cake and small talk from Mrs Black, Mr Black finally get on this dangerous area.

All this time he’s keeping me on his lap, so I’m too embarrassed to look up.

Let Tom put me down soon, Merlin.

They try to ignore this little nuisance too…

“Tom, what a pleasure to have you here, but can I ask for the reason for your surprised visit?”

“That old fool… yesterday without asking me, McGonagal came and has the guts, after all the damage they have done, to make accusation on my methods of bringing Severus up and guess what? Today I got an information THAT muggle-lover is on his way to my house when I was in a meeting I couldn’t ignore! He… dared to come in and talk to Severus just like that! To breach one privacy twice… and he saw Nagini too.” Tom added dryly at the end.

“I would make a statement to Ministry about it, if I were you. Nagini may be dangerous, but she’s your pet. Any idea how to make the fools believe she’s harmless?”

“Only to make a little show of how much she listen to me and a lot of bribes… yes, a few good chosen words would do too. Thank you, Orion, if I didn’t get him out of there, I was sure that that next would come Potter and I would murder him by extension, with all that tension.”

Mr Potter would be unlucky… I hoped he didn’t mean to come...

“Understandable, they have gone over the board with this. You can stay here for now, to calm down and after making arrangement of forbidding them entering, go back then. I’m sure Regulus would be happy to have a playmate. After Sirius has gone to Hogwart, he had only us and that house elf and surely, he’s feeling lonely.”

“I’m not sure, I don’t like the idea of them making me leave my home.”

Tom, you’re still keeping me in your arms.

Mr Black was nicely trying to make you let me down I think.

_Nicely and subtly you ignored him._

Then until tomorrow I’m stuck. If it wasn’t embarrassing, it would be quite comfortable, but it is. Angry Tom not only eat badly, but is clingy.

“We will go home. I am more calm down now and there is no need to intrude, thank you for your hospitality and I apologize for trouble”

Yes, we’re in trouble. A lot of.

“Not at all, Tom. You’re always welcome here. Severus, have a good day and be careful who you talk to”

“Yessir” I know it myself now…

And so we’re back home and instead of being on my feet, I am handed down to Nagini for safe-keeping. Great.

Maybe tomorrow of tomorrow then.

_**Lily’s pov** _

He’s not back.

It was already a month!

There are rumors around of both professor McGonagal and Headmaster going to his house without invitation and being sued for it.

At the same time they gave testimony of Severus wearing a collar… like a dog. Evan didn’t deny, just said it is expensive and protective one with the purpose of punishment. Who punish like that?

But he also warned me never to say so to Severus or he won’t forgive me.

Well, I can’t tell him if he’s not even here, right?

Anyway, it become a big case and in the end, James ( that one who pranks a lot and was mean about Severus’ trauma) said ‘that it was deemed acceptable by taking into account the danger subject of the conversation put himself in and the fact he does not object to it’ or whatever it meant. The lowering of these charging were in condition that he lowers his about entering without permission. He said that his dad said it was in order to avoid confrontation the Ministry dreaded. Then some overlooks were discovered and many people got a hit and James is officially forbidden to be in close proximity to Severus. They have to be in two different corners in class when he comes back!

Sirius said that many pureblood treats their children more like a object in certain area for less reason, so they didn’t want to make any case with it. In the end the fact it was bought as a tease and he was waiting for replace material and when he did, he exchange collar with ring was enough to make Tom Riddle a victim of disinformation. Even the dangerous pet charges were a fail attempt as he has a permission and it was counted as a familiar as headmaster’s phoenix and that it is familiar with Severus for already five years and it never hurt him. Or so.

Anyway, with all those political battle, Severus is still not here and I can’t give him his present! Book about Sherlock! He would love it!! It’s so frustrating that they are fighting at his expense!

I hope he’s back soon…

**_Tom’s pov_ **

Merlin! We have barely avoided disaster and only because we manage to bribe certain people to make a certain evidence valid.

Like of Nagini being harmless.

Or collar being **just** protective. The story was a little… off, but it passed thanks to money.

In the end we didn’t lose the votes, much, even manage to hit old fool, but it was a close call and makes them an excuse to give me an inspection.

Which made them believe that I am the best guardian for Severus, but have some negative impact on society as ‘a perfect me’ should not need it at all. _As if a kid from orphanage can’t make mistake in_ _judgment_ – I HAD TO USE THIS TO GET BACK TO FULL SUPPORT.

And I hate it.

It was a draw as Dumbledore manage to reduce his loses for overlooks, with making them aware of snake and that pink collar.

By far he reduced it, as if that visit haven’t happened and he took information along with him.

Worse, we had to have a talk about Severus going back and taking exam. In the end he wrote them at home with Horace around who said that the collar is more like a jewelry – most people believe it to be like that for dog… Seriously, you all I would give it to, not _him._

His, outside of being pink, was more like a normal addition. And didn’t have a place for a chain too. Thanks Merlin I forgot to add it later on.

So in the end, all is well and Severus is going back after 6 weeks of being homeschooled.

I will miss him.

Greatly so…

Nagini too.

Being a parent is no easy job. How Orion is not worried or Abraxas, I have no idea.

_**Severus’ pov** _

I’m back to Hogwart!

I love spending time with Tom, but he’s more and more stressed by it. Besides going to Hogwart is amazing! So many books, so many spells, so many classes and potions!

And I missed people. Normally I don’t, but… Evan must be so bored I just had to go. He’s my friend after all. And psycho. Some people dared to question that Tom may not be a right guardian, but I made sure to glare at them and show how much I detest the idea of leaving. They got it eventually.

I passed my exam perfectly, professor Slughorn was observing all the time if I don’t cheat as if I need! But it is his job, so I didn’t complain. Fast (long) hug to Tom and I’m on a train. Going back on my own once again.

Just. Great. Now I need to go back to mindset of ‘Slytherin’ as I don’t want them to see any weakness, do I? Either Gryffindors or fellow Slytherins. I wonder if anything changed…

Until I get there, I will re-read material again, just in case.

.

.

.

I am back, magical castle!

Professor Slughorn walks me back to the common room saying how sorry he is that people thought Tom could ever treated me like an object. Of course he won’t! He’s just worried and always ready for unknown.

So my head of house won a loooooots of point for it from me if I could give them away, that is.

Before I can even say ‘hello’ Evan hugs me so much I’m in pain and is starting complaining how bored he was. Many people looked relieved, as if me coming back means the end of a war. And felt so, strange.

Lucius and Narcissa were happy too, Bella hated me so nothing new, the two idiots was.. afraid of me? They ignored me before…

Well, I’m back and I am eager to learn, so they are on observation for now. I need to show everyone that Tom is a great guardian, I’m not mental, that the incident with my parents don’t define me and that I can be a great student.

How hard could it even be?

**_James’ pov_ **

That… git is back.

I know I did wrong, I know, but he practically shoved dad’s kindness into a bin! All those cases, sues and accusation! As if he didn’t come to our house and didn’t enjoy himself. He even left his present like a trash. How dare he… after dad go to such a length to buy him a broom, a broom! Nothing like a token, but something so amazing and he just left it.

I don’t get him at all.

And he’s making dad sad. He should be happy dad want to help him. I heard a little, what that guardian of his is going to do! Shutting out muggle-born as if they are beneath him. Evil.

So there is only one thing to do. I can’t obviously make him my comrade, cause he’s a ward of an evil guy. I have to show him and everyone how bad it is and then stopped them from hurting innocent people!

Like Evans.

She was actually asking for him and missed him! How a girl can miss him I will never understand. I mean Evans is so nice and kind and intelligent and friendly and pretty… It must be some desire to purge evilness for someone so good to want to spent time with him and even missed him and call him ‘her friend’.

Someone as good as her…

I won’t forgive him for deceiving her! I will make her see the truth and go back where are actually good people, not some racist. She won’t be safe with wanted to befriend one of them.

Something must be done and Sirius mostly agree, but…

He said we have to try save Snape too as he was with them for so long he don’t understand. He said his life before was so bad that… that it all seemed like a little injustice in compare and that he probably never witnessed more than insults and a few worse to wear curses. As Sirius.

He told me… that that father of his… beat him and his mother… and then killed her on his eyes… I thought… that it was more of an accident. I mean, how come one would do it to family? I suppose I never really thought about it like that.

So… We will give it a shot. Saving him too.

Not because he said that the hat wanted to initially put Snape in Gryffindor, not at all!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to end the story here, I have chapters and update them all now and later wrote sequel showing later years.  
> Enjoy!  
> I did erase some tags as they were more for future chapter that won't be here.


	30. Langlock!!

**_Sev’s pov_ **

I’m being stalked.

Seriously.

Potter and Black are practically following me to and from classes. Evan is getting annoyed by it already and teachers says I’m imagining things.

If I do, why do they always prank us in any way, when I try to ignore them for an extended period of time? For some reason I always lose my temper with them. Potter is just insufferable! He’s father is such a good person and he can’t even leave me alone!

So me being me, I gave them back later what they earned by smuggling a harmless, but annoying potion to their juice or setting a little tripping hex with delayed use on them. Tom’s present for me for 10 birthday to safely hex Bella with his wand. I will never tell anyone.

She would murdered me in my sleep.

Literally.

And of course, great Gryffindor they are, with all their brain cells, they works out only that I must have done it without finding when and how and attacked me back.

It has continued until the very end of the term. At least once a week. So much time wasted, it’s pity. But I would never live down just letting them prank me without giving back! Lately, this rounded boy is starting helping them too sometimes. It is getting harder and harder to get away from them or not get caught up in their prank so I don’t have to make up revenge.

Just great come back to school, isn’t it?

Teachers literally hates me now and are never looking into my eye anymore. I know they were suppose to know, but to think they would just start to fear me? I can feel it without eye contact, you idiots, and you’re calling yourself a teacher without knowing it? Pathetic.

Professor McGonagal seems wary of me through because of different reason. She was at least quite nice back then and during her visit, now she mostly either ignore me while I try to say Potter is bothering me even with the ‘he’s not to be in close proximity’ fact, which apparently is only valid for them in classes. Cheap excuse. If she don’t ignore me, she believes Potter and Black ( yes, he was once Sirius, no more ) and gives me detention without so much as an evidence outside the witness of their humiliation. Of course, half of them I can get revoked by my head of house (and only around half of them is earned, the rest are some other Slytherins who saw the pattern, bugger them), but… He don’t want to argue with professor McGonagal too much and not always agree to help me, saying I may need to learn some discipline during them.

It is not what I believed it would. Hogwart, magic school, biased so much it hurts to even be here sometimes. Maybe that’s why I… I start to occlude anywhere any of them are. Which is mostly. I think I may have to talk to Tom after all.

My past home situation is still going around school and I’m still being called the son of murderer… By Gryffindors that is. Most of others decided it is not worth it after the big case of fight between Tom and Headmaster.

Mr Potter wrote me a few letters, but… I didn’t write him about his son’s. He was already heart-broken after getting to know that that idiot is responsible for the leak. He still cares so I do too. He need no additional stress, Mrs Potter once said they are old for wizards and need more rest.

I didn’t know that disliking Headmaster would be so easy _. He made it easy_. After another detention I shouldn’t be given I was called to his office for a ‘talk’. He said I should not harass another students and dismissed my concern of them starting it all. Like that.

The very first time the things said in common room were true. He was biased and saw no fault with Gryffindor and always punish Slytherin. Half of the things were made up, half were true with no evidence, I was punished for all anyway. **_‘No more back up of professor Slughorn as it is unfair to use his feelings and respect for my guardian this way’_** he said. As they do not protect those two!

I hate when people are lying as I can feel this disgusting feeling. I hate when they are unfair even more. It feels so much like **_that place_**.

So it wasn’t that hard to start to not like him.

Quite opposite.

I won’t give in through. Why should I? Cause they are unfair? Life always is. Cause it hurt? Everything before Tom came did. Cause the expectation didn’t live up to reality? Only Tom did. I didn’t lose a thing I had the first time I came here and I didn’t gain much as well.

Only one muggle-born girl to talk to, Lily Evans.

She’s from that town, the one I escaped.

At least she’s nice and kind and warm and always **_honest_**. She says what she think, don’t lie, don’t talk falsely, is intelligent and likes to talk about magic. Tom don’t like her, but says as long as it amuse me, it is fine. I am not to bring her home as Nagini might hurt her. Or eat.

Other than that vacation are coming fast and I will be back home soon.

Tom is starting as a candidate for Minister next year, so I will have to behave better… I know it and I try, but it is hard with them never leaving me alone!

For Tom, I will do my best through.

Only for him.

**_James’ pov_ **

No way I will give up now! It is not only about what Sirius want or dad, we have started it so we will succeed and there is no another option.

Especially after all those disappearance, **_that man_** , the Slytherins are a trouble and if we can save one, we should!

“Sirius, he’s there, come on, this time we will get through to him!”

Another turn to right and we have him cornered! Yes! Hogwart is on our side too.

“Come on, Snape, listen finally!”

“What I am supposed to talk with you about? Quidditch? Not my hobby. Potions? Not yours. Leave me finally alone! What is your problem? Few months ago you wouldn’t care!”

“What do you have against Quidditch!!!” this is the best, the greatest, the most impressive…

“James, focus, he’s distracting you! Severus, listen, these people from your dorms are mental! Their parents like torturing people like Lily!” something on his face has changed, we got this! “Your guardian is leading them, you got it?” Now, maybe not… he seemed half a mind to kill us on a spot…

“Don’t you dare insult Tom!”

“We’re not insulting him! You were supposed to be Gryffindor, not snake, so stop being difficult!”

Oh. I was not suppose to say I know. I shouldn’t. His eyes are kinda getting scary and… cold?

“Eh, I mean, dad like you so you must have some redeeming qualities!” nice save, right?

Right…?

He’s still pale and still through.

“Blackie, you told him” and cold. So cold…was he ever that… dangerous looking?

“I… maybe? But come on, your guardian is deep in dark arts and prejudiced against muggleborn.”

“Yea, he’s evil!”

Ups, maybe I should not say it. What were the things not to do around him or he’s dangerous? Something about his guardian…? And by the expression of Sirius I can worked out myself it was… extremely bad move.

**_Langlock_ **

We feel it, before we could react. The problem was we can’t talk anymore and just stare at each other… if we can’t talk we can’t cast!

Merlin, run!!

But we also heard **_Experliamus, .._** hit something and all goes black.

**_Poppy’s pov_ **

“Minerva, I don’t know the counter curse! I never come across such a spell before! You may have to contact his guardian and have a counter-curse from him or else I don’t know what to do… Boy refused to tell me anything. Nothing at all.”

I never saw anyone so without empathy in all my life.

Like a doll. Horace can’t get through to him as well. Albus is trying at the moment… we can’t try creating a counter without knowing the curse. What a day.

Those boy’s guardian was notified, I suppose his too, but Albus didn’t clarify. It will be a apocalypse there…

“So we can’t do anything until he let it go?” Minerva is disbelieved but experimenting with what it would be…

“Our mistakes might even kill them… At best, the curse will dissolve with time, at worst we need to wait for more information.”

Honest answer is the best as long as Minerva is concerned. She will eat alive anyone who would try to hurt one of their charges. I have no idea if I should be angry at the boy or pity him…

**_Albus’ pov_ **

So the boy didn’t understand our last talk it seems.

And have gone even further for a barely first year student.

“If you give a counter curse or a spell or a book you have it from, it will only end with detention. If not, I won’t be able to be lenient with you.”

Is he even listening? No response yet again.

“Horace?”

“Yes, yes, Mr Black and Mr Potter are here.” If Tom were to come, we would have hell here first before getting the curse out of the boy.

“What is it about this time that Sirius did…?” he noticed Severus quite fast, it seems “ Why is Severus here, not my son, while Tom is not here?”

“Well, there is no point to delay an explanation, Severus is here because he cursed students, yours and Fleamont’s son with unknown curse and decided not to share what it was. At the moment we can’t safely let them talk again…”

“Talk? I have no curse in a book which does it, because of course you don’t mean silencing charms and any other is way too advance even for him. I don’t believe Tom would taught him any of them either for now. In case shouldn’t you call him?”

Well, you’re trying to go around it? Does safety of your son matter so little to you, Orion Black?

“I didn’t ask Tom to come as Severus here is perfectly fine and in good health. We need counter-curse to make it possible for the other boys to go back to studies. No permanent harm was done. He wouldn’t help us find it, would he?”

Not without making trouble first and you know it perfectly.

“Severus, I know you are pretty good, why did you curse them publicly? It is not like you to attack without thinking” Oh, so he would rather do it subtly? No wonder Minerva didn’t have any concrete evidence for that detentions outside of damage done and few testimonies.

“James Potter first said I’m not a Slytherin, sir, and then called Tom evil. Both of them did.”

There is a fire in the eyes of the boy. Anger. Hate. Determination to make them pay.

Lord Black only nodded and Fleamont haven’t ushered even one word after entering. Horace seems seemingly shocked and little angry too.

“Then you should come to me, my boy, and told me they have did it, not cursed them! I would punish them properly for throwing such an accusation!!” for once, yes, it would let us avoid many problems.

“But professor, I have been trying to tell you all this time that they are stalking me and attacking me if I’m ignoring them! I don’t care if they want to make friends or whatever, Siri, uhm, Sirius Black should knew precisely that this won’t work like this. And nothing was done outside giving me detention, sir! They lost a few points, that was all! What was the point of asking then? I would feel even worse if professor McGonagal or Headmaster would say it was just childish saying and just pat them on the head yet again! Bias of certain people in power can make one quite distrustful, especially if they hate the very person you’re trying to defend!”

No one answer to that. We all just stared at a kid, who would risk suspension to protect his guardian’s honor that far? Not even his parent?

“So, what would Sirius have to do to be helped, let me ask you, Severus?” instead of being angry, Orion Black is amused. Amused.

“Never ever tell something I confide in him to another, it was not nice of him, sir”

“Should I know what it was?” or rather you want to ask if Tom should, didn’t you?

“Nothing important, just that hat was considering putting me in Gryffindor for a moment, Mr Black, I suppose James Potter started his quest to save my soul after being sure that I was wrongly placed and in heart I am Gryffindor. Which is insulting, sir, I’m happy to be in the house Tom and my mother was.” There was pride in his voice. But the question of counter is still…

“Mr Snape, whatever they might have said, you’re not supposed to start fighting in the corridor. I can’t help if you feel that we’re unfair, but I would advise you to tell us a book you got a spell from. We need it to reverse its effect” Minerva, our brave lioness. Not always stern expression is the best solution. Fleamont feels so too, but… he has been lost for words.

Until now.

“I’m sorry for all inconvenience James caused you. It is probably my fault, I hope you will forgive me and maybe start over with him? No one has ever told him ‘no’ to being friends, I might have spoiled him a little. I will make sure he understand that you’re in the right house and being either Slytherin, Gryffindor or Ravenclaw does not define a person, we does it ourselves.”

The boy’s eyes shone for a moment and everyone notice it. It was a great difference from a moment ago, when they were all cold and empty upon hearing Minerva’s comment.

_He’s occluding_.

He believes he can’t do without it around us… he has no point in trying to keep me out, he’s… hiding himself. Does he really stop trusting us as a barely twelve years old child? Lord Black seemed to be contemplating it even more seriously than all this situation previously.

“It is fine, Mr Potter, as long as he stopped stalking me it would be fine. Evan is a nerve wreck and half mind to curse him. And… the curses he would use would be painful, so I had to restrain him or he would be severe punished for it and I want to prevent it. Keeping Evan in line when he has a mood and is annoyed is no easy job and I’m losing tricks. For all sides, let’s have a truce. I will reverse it and you make them let me study normally.”

Having to feel that only a deal may give him a basic principle of education and school is a sad view, but I don’t have any other chance than inviting Tom to get a counter curse so I signal Minerva to say yes. Exams are coming after all.

“Fine, the book Mr Snape.”

“There is no book, professor”

No, impossible, the only way to have a spell not from the book is…

“Mr Snape, lying will get you nowhere”

“There is no book, because I created it. I will cast a counter-curse I make it up too and I never agreed to share either with any of you, I’m sorry, but this is my own achievement and I didn’t even tell Tom yet. It is not a talk for a letter, after all”

Most of us is too shocked to comment. Not all through.

“Tom said you might have a talent for spell-craft once, but you’re starting too young, Severus. He’ll skin you alive for experimenting without his permission, you know?”

“You will tell Tom? Please, no, wait, I’m sure we can have a deal! Mr Black, anything I can trade for a few days until the exam are over?! Tom will pull me off now if he knows I’m doing things without supervisor again!” As if the occlumency were never there. So cheerful… Natural panicked teen. Similar to the one I saw during my last visit at his home, but more open.

“Hmm, let’s see, in vacation Tom is having a meeting in Ministry for three days straight, you will stay with us instead of Malfoys and you will tell me more about how you created the spell, will you do it?”

“….I suppose so… “ not too enthusiastic now. Dear Walburga don’t like you that much then.

“Then we have a deal, something to add? If not, Headmaster, Lord Potter, let us go to the hospital wing and take care of the problem, so they can get some sleep and learn a little.”

No one protested.

Something else has shocked them to oblivious that they are in. I am myself wondering how long did Tom know as Orion Blacks’ reaction tells me a lot.

Secondly, if he could invent this at eleven ,then what else will he be able to? Mind arts, potion, spell crafting… and talented in magic overall.

No wonder you took him in, you saw partly yourself there, Tom.

And you took him for yourself.

After getting into the hospital wing, we all observed like that twelve years old kid use his own counter for his own spell and let the others talk again.

Once more guarded, once more cold and empty.


	31. Attack on a train

_**Sev's pov** _

By the time that exam have been finished, I was so sure I’m an idiot.

I had to go and use that spell.

A spell I invented behind Tom’s back again. Merlin, I’m an idiot, I will be on probation again! I was supposed not to, but… the stress with them stalking me… and talking… I wanted so much to shut their mouths up and any other spell I know just wouldn’t do it right.

Evan actually volunteered to try it out on him after making sure it will work on animals and won’t kill him. My last defense line. He looked excited at the prospect nearly as much as me, but mostly for the sake of shutting Potter and making them stop following us.

Didn’t work exactly, Mr Black did keep his end of the bargain, so I will have to spent there a few days… with Blackie and his mother dearest… my sanity hurts already.

And there is a case of wrath of Tom.

Maybe I am really a magnet for trouble?

Professor Slughorn actually kind of stood by me later on and said my reason were good enough and he won’t make trouble for it or anything. It looks like that the only one with a problem about my defense are people who hate Tom. It does not help that they were in dominance there.

And they hate me too.

Not Mr Potter.

But… professor and Headmaster is another matter. 

Hate may be too much, but they do not like me too much.

Another empty train back to station, as staying with Bella and their lot is way too troublesome. Evan must be bored and annoyed now. Well, better it than having her glare at me all the time. I may start to get familiar with being alone again.

Not long it seems as again someone is coming into the compartment. I have no luck to the travels.

“Lils, maybe it is not a good idea, I mean, he cursed Potter and Black! He may be dangerous for us, you know? Come on, there must be some other compartment.”

Evans? Okey, way better than Potter in every way out there. And she may even left with her friend being so scared of me for some reason.

“Don’t be silly, Severus does not attack for no reason! All those detention were unjust! They have been stalking him all this time and he snapped. Anyone would”

“Hello, Evans, either go on or in and stop standing like an idiot you’re not” I couldn’t stop myself, they are getting annoying. Decide on something.

“What..? He’s really your friends?”

“If definition is someone who she talked to a lot whether the person listen or not and always asking many question, then I may be” as along with headmaster definition, I wonder, how much of this is real. In Slytherin, it is more of deal and debts way. Real friends are exclusive, a people you deem trustworthy to let them in on your plans. Like Evan or Lucius or Regulus(sometimes).

“Oh, stop already, you’re trying to scare her!”

“I’m not, I asked headmaster on his visit and it was a basic and most simple definition as no hexing one meant I have no friends and I consider Evan one, so it was not fitted to me. So it was made simpler and here is this one where you got into the category.”

“Really? You never said so before! Come on, Mary, he’s brilliant!”

I’m blushing. Oh no, I’m getting red.

Oh no.

I’m embarrassed before them. Control your emotion!

“Okey…” was a quiet reply.

We were staying in a silence for some time? No idea how long, I couldn’t stop being vigilant around someone I know from a name and…

“You’re abysmal in potion, aren’t you?” Merlin, I blurted it out. Well, great beginning.

“All year and this is what you remember about me!?” she’s clearly angry. So clearly that her emotion are biting my eyes…

“Don’t mind, Mary, you remember my potion-related problem?” the girl, Mary yes?, nodded and was somehow smoothed already “I have gone to him for help, you know, and after telling him my name, he knew what I did wrong, how and how to correct it! He’s just like that in potion, like they are his measure of ‘worth remembering or not’ “ she laughs. It is not funny!

“It is not! It is just the fastest way to see who is dunderhead and who is not!?”

“But most people who are bad at potion, can be good in other subject, not many people are good in practically all and genius in one!”

What?

But…

“Tom is!! In everything! So of course it works this way!”

“No, it does not! Potter is way better at transfiguration than you! And Black too! Remus is good at all, but potion to your acceptable grade and is working on it and I am good at charms, you know it!”

“You’re not bad at potion like them!”

“But they are good in others!”

Oh, my values were destroyed.

“Give me a moment, I need to… um… make a sense of it?” I say and raise my brew in a way most people around does. In Slytherin.

I do not pay attention to their laugh and conversation which followed when a shocked Mary girl is being explained something by Evans.

I had a lot of to work out.

When Bella comes in and destroy all my thoughts line.

****

**_Bella’s pov (I DESPISED HER)_ **

Where is that vermin?

Half-blood trash.

Mudblood.

Morgrel.

I got order from _Him_ to get him to _His_ home as he is busy currently. I have to at least make sure the mudblood know to wait for me. Or just get him and not waste time later.

Malfoy thought he could take the mogrel with him and get _His_ praise which is supposed to be mine.

_MINE!_

It’s shameful enough that such a… such a mudblood has so much attention of _Him_!! Unforgivable. If there is ever a chance for him to be punished with torture, I would give over my soul to do it. And so much more.

Worse! Cissy seems to like that pussy peacock, Lucius, and that half-breed! Even Uncle Orion…

But one day he will make a mistake and will be punished by _Him_ for it. And I will wait for it with a sweet satisfaction.

Finally, he’s in… there with another mudbloods of even worse standing!? How dare he sullen _His_ name by associating with such a scum? I will make sure to relay it to the Dark Lord, how his pet is behaving.

“You! Where were you and why you’re with those mudbloods!?” Their precious expression of anger… Ah, how I wished I could torture them with cruciatus now… the plague of our word!

And you!! You’re just _His_ pet, behave like a proper one and listen to your betters. It is time for you to start learning!

“What do you want Bellatrix?”

“Who let you use my name, you half-blood? Get out, I’m suppose to get you home as a favor from my father. Don’t be a more of a disgrace to Mr Riddle!”

So… this is his famous fury? Maybe there is something to work with, as a pet anyway. Those eyes do look good.

“I’m not” so funny, the way you will break one day under crucio would be one of the best in my life!

“Really? Then why you’re tossed to me? Like a broken toy? Of course Mr Riddle is ashamed to come for you personally after you are associating with such a low… company”

My, my, get a little more furious? It may be fun yet.

“Being so useless and a bother and only a problem? So pathetic? He will definitely get rid of you sooner than later. Orphanage may not even accept such a vermin as you!”

“Tom would not throw me away without a word!”

So _He_ would?

Ha! I was right all along! This presentation, show of affection! It was all for show, a plaything to amused _Himself_ in _His_ free time!

“So poor, little Sevvie, being so useless and pathetic no one gives a thought about you, not even your own parents, certainly not _HIM_!”

That mudblood want to say something so I silence her. I can’t kill them here, can I?

“You! You….” No more confidence, I thought so, satisfied I am out to get him and be gone from this beneath of me company, not that he was not, but… atmosphere changed for a moment.

_Bloodlust._

**_Langlock!!!_ **

What the?

“I will not let you utter these lies! Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies!!! If I was useless Tom would give me up! He didn’t. Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies!!!”

The nerve of that Vermin!

I can’t even… never mind, **_Expelliarmus!_**

He did reflect it barely by reflex…

But the shield cracked and the next one hit properly.

**_Expelliarmus! Stupefy!!_ **

Hitting his head he may have lost conscious, but… well, I did retrieve him. The auburn hair girl did take her wand out, but the other mudblood stopped her. I need to find a counter to that spell he used. Damn that mongrel!! Well, at least I am half-done with my mission for Him and he won’t annoy me later on.

**_Lucius’ pov_ **

It’s so a bad idea I don’t know what the Dark Lord is thinking! Giving Bella order to bring Severus home!? It is like a murder! Even if kid survive, she will not hold back hurting him as long as no one can report it and it can be pushed on Potter and her cousin.

Maybe nothing will happen.

I mean _He_ wouldn’t have ordered her if it was a danger to Severus? Surely, _He_ cares for _His_ things. That party and fight later on showed it enough. But Bella…

Cissy is worried too. Yes, she let me call her Cissy!! But it is irrelevant as Severus’ life is on line now.

Evan is mortified. He actually asked the price of disobeying.

_It is death, you moron!_

Merlin, let Bella had more brain cells than usually.

She’s coming back and she’s… having him in her hand like a bag? What? Retrieving a kid is not looking like that!

“What are you doing Bella!”

No answer, just a show of hand to her throat.. Severus cursed her? Does he had a kill wish?

“I don’t know it, do you Evan?”

“Eee, it is… you know he’s clever with spells and such?” Everyone know, it is a common knowledge.

“Yes, what does it have to do with it?”

“It is his own creation, let me find a counter!”

“His… own spell? Already?” Wow, impressive, but… Oh, this is why Bella is taking him home. He is punishing Severus for experimenting.

That idiotic genius will never learn. NEVER.

After Evan find a counter, released Bella’s tongue, she has started relaying how Severus talked with mudblood…

“Bella, I know it may not occur to you, but… in _His_ campaign for Minister, Mr Riddle can’t openly say how despicable they are and _His_ ward being unpleasant to them is not a good move?”

It shut her up permanently about the topic.

Severus did wake up at some point, but was… unusually silent, but looking at circumstances of going home with Bella, it is understandable.

Even asking father won’t change anything. We can’t help him.

I hope you won’t be too severe punished, Severus. You didn’t exactly go to Potter, so it should be light.

But this silence… I don’t like it at all.

_**Sirius’ pov** _

We can’t even find him.

Damn, we need to start over. We talked a lot with James and Remus and Pete and we understood our mistakes. He won’t listen to us if we’re not his friends!

It was so obvious, but he was always paying attention to me before, so I may have missed it. But before I never try to speak against all that _That Man_ taught him.

We need first to put some work into befriending him and then show him the truth! Otherwise for him it is all a lie. A truth he won’t believe in because it shows someone important to him as evil. Someone who did helped him.

We never thought too much of his feelings in that regard.

And that curse will be useful to shut up pureblood using slurs, so why not!? James already likes it and have a talk with his father about the right way to make friend, who don’t like you at first.

So we’re using advises given and going slowly forward.

Wait, is it Evans crying?

We’re both stopping before her and her friend compartment and enter. Saving Severus can wait a moment.

“Oy, Evans, you’re fine?” James asked first. He’s better at comforting than me. Blacks have a problem with this overall.

“She… Severus… I couldn’t do anything!”

My blood is getting cold. What would happened to get her cry about Snape?

“Can you tell us what happened? We may find a teacher and so something!” my voice had more confidence than me through. Not many would be bold enough to do anything to him…

“He called her Bellatrix…” No, only not that crazy cousin of mine… “ She started saying awful things and calling us that bad word and then try to take him as a favor or something home later or so… But she was awful and Severus become so… so cold and felt dangerous and tried to calm himself, but… and then she again insulted him about his guardian not wanting him anymore or so and he used some curse to shut her up and she… she attacked him!” She has started crying hysterically now.

I’m pale. James is too. Seventh year attacking a first one…

“He somehow reflect first one…” MacDonald said grimly. She was visible scared and shaken… no wonder, it is a crazy bitch of Blacks we’re talking about. But how he did it? “ But it put him off balance, he was on the floor and she sent other too! That Snape hit the window and then stopped moving entirely with another!”

That…

“James?”

“Yes?”

“We’re getting teacher to Dumbledore and your father and call aurors. He needs help now, not after we make friends with him”

“Agree” there was a lot of determination in his eyes. Just like his father in that matter, huh? “ Come on!!”

It took us a little time to get to professor, but upon hearing it and confirming story with Lily and Mary, a patronus was sent.

On the platform both Headmaster and Mr Potter was waiting. They didn’t give a Bella even chance to go with him. Fleamont Potter, in his capability as an auror took the boy away and give over to Headmaster. He didn’t react at all. Like a doll.

Before Headmaster has disappeared with him, probably to Hogwart to hospital wing to have him checked up, we all could make a word ‘concussion’ and ‘an immediately need for help’.

Maybe I will get to know later what has happened afterwards.


	32. Emptiness...

**_Albus’ pov_ **

To thought I would have been the one to be here first, talking to the current Minister, before even Tom get here. Were you informed already?

“You’re sure that the person, who Tom Riddle assigned to take him home, Bellatrix Black, has attacked him first by insults, then magic? A seventh year attacked the first? I found it hard to believe Tom we know would choose someone like that…”

You would be shocked who he could choose.

“Yes, we have a witnesses and the assessment of their memories and boys injuries match. He has a broken rib and a concussion. It can’t be ignored, Eugenia.”

“Yes, yes, I know, Albus. Of course, Tom is a mere human too, who can choose badly. Unfortunately, for some time it would be better if the child is separated for further assessment. Is it true he’s natural in mind arts?” curious, isn’t it? Not many is as not many know… Which one of my teacher did share the information with you? For sure none from Tom, too long no one was aware when they were.

“Yes, it is. The boy is getting better hold of it now, but from time to time he’s still either occluding, then it is shown on his face, or legilement people when he feels unsecure. It is nothing more than emotion and mood reading, you understand?”

“Yes, of course, the temporary placement would need to know… Mr Potter’s son was forbidden from being in close proximity, why you believe him to be suitable guardian?”

“No one will be better, Eugenia. Malfoys has an agreement of bringing together his son with a daughter of Cygnus Black’s, so they are out of question. The same for Orion Black, too close family. No others, outside of myself and Mr Potter has applied and a St. Mungo would only bring a bad memories to him. Moreover, it was young Mister Potter and Mister Black, who alerted teacher. I believe the children can come to the com…”

This is the moment that Tom stormed into the office with barely hidden fury.

“Good afternoon, Minister, Albus, I heard that something important happened and my ward was taken back to Hogwart, but no one wanted to enlighten me what”

It is probably the first time he didn’t start with a small talk and a smile. Well, the circumstances makes it possible for him to not be able to.

“Welcome, Tom, sit down. There is much to talk about. Tea?”

“Yes, please.” He did say so but immediately put the cup away. “ So? Headmaster, maybe you can explain this… decision.”

“There were some trouble with the temporary guardian you choose, Tom” something did show for a moment in his eyes, as if not believing me “ Bellatrix Black, which you asked you bring young Mister Snape home had attacked him verbally and physically with the help of magic and broke his rib and gave the poor boy concussion. When we took him, he barely if even recognized anyone as he has no trouble in being keep by me and didn’t react at all when Poppy was diagnosing him. I’m afraid that only after he wake up, he will be coherent enough to talk to” the sadness in my voice is real. Hurting a child like that and then treating him like an object to pass… **_it is horrible._**

Tom didn’t answer, just looked at me disbelievingly…

“Is it true? She hurt him? I asked her simple because she could apparate and didn’t want to add an extra responsibilities to Abraxas…” after a moment I am sure he didn’t mean it to get out “ Damn it all” after all, this is muggle saying. Interesting… “Will he be fine?”

There was a real concern in his eyes. He could fool others easily, but I could always tell his lies. This was not one of them.

“Yes, but for the time being he will be relocated to someone else until we’re sure he’s fine. I’m sorry, Tom, we all know that you’re amazing young man and you deeply care for your charge, but as you have once said, you grew up in the orphanage. Right now the kid need both peace and a momentary change. For the next two weeks he will be in the care of someone we choose and then he will be returned to you. Use that time to sort it all out and secure the environment, so there is no farther problems with it”

Tom has gotten even more paler while hearing it and with a shaken voice asked:

“Can I at least see him? Check if he’s alright?”

“For now, no. Believe me that I don’t want to do it to you, but you will be probably my successor and I do believe that you can manage it. Unfortunately, no man is perfect and now you need to learn that sometimes it is better to have patient. In two weeks, he will be back with you, if he wish it and is in a good condition. No sooner will you see him.”

We both know what kind of lesson it is. Now you either give up all the connection you made in Ministry or wait. Your choice, Tom.

“Fine, no more than two weeks and I want it to be told him. That I am waiting for him to come home” his voice is cold like steel. Face impassive and eyes glittering dangerously. Hidden threat.

“Excellent then! I knew we could come to a conclusion, Tom!” I shouldn’t be that happy, I know, but it is a great news indeed.

“I don’t think that I had much of a choice, headmaster.”

No, you didn’t if you wanted to keep all you have at the moment. Only if you wish to start a war now.

“Everyone has a choice, Tom. Now, Eugenia, who will you assign the child’s protection?”

The final decision then.

One so much weight on.

“For the next two weeks, the person responsible for Mr Snape will be Lord Fleamont Potter”

I’m beaming, happy that my suggestion did have an impact.

Tom barely stopped himself from cursing us.

From killing us at that very moment.

Actually, he destroyed the cup and hurt his hand severe. The meeting was stopped with the injury having to be cleared and healed.

Well, it have gone fairly smooth.

Win for us then.

**_Fleamont’s pov_ **

He was still unconscious. It seems like concussion was quite severe and Poppy didn’t want to wake him up forcefully until she’s sure that he won’t have any permanent injury to his brain.

Both me and James are with him now. Sirius had to go to his parents, but knowing his guardian, they will be here soon.

.

.

.

I was wrong, the only one to come was Abraxas Malfoy.

“Lord Potter, young James Potter, thank you for your fast assistance in Tom’s name”

“He can’t even come on his own?” James! You’re not talking like that to someone older than you.

Malfoy didn’t seem to care through. Strange…

“Tom can’t come, it seems, they want to… give him a chance to learn to trust safety of his ward only to responsible people and for the next two week, he is to be in care of someone else, while Tom is forbidden to meet him during this time.” There is a clear disgust in his voice.

But my heart leap a little. The old hope is flared once again.

I stop James from talking back and add instead:

“Is it known who will have the pleasure then?”

He only smiles maliciously while answering.

“Congratulation, for the next two weeks, **_our Severus_** is in your care. Hope you will make as much as you want to out of it” threat didn’t matter much. He’ll be with us for next two weeks. James has been smiling for it victoriously. Well, to be honest me too. “I’m sure he will be so happy to leave Tom he won’t give you hard time” sarcasm practically dripped off his voice. Well, we will have to deal with it then.

“It is normal for children to miss their parents, Lord Malfoy, I’ll make sure to make him treat it as an vacation, not separation”

And hope he would want to stay has gone unsaid.

Lord Malfoy stayed with us until Severus woke up.

****

**_Sev’s pov_ **

Why it is so white here?

Wait, why am I in hospital wing instead on the train? And…

Bella.

I should have reign in my temper, but… Tom does not… He cares… a little… For sure I’m not a trash for him or… or a toy. I’m not just that. He would not care when I get hurt or feel badly or not sleep enough if I did. She had no right to say it all.

She could kill me back then for all I care, I wouldn’t let her say it again.

Never ever.

But… is this why I’m here? In Hogwart? Why not in St Mungo with Tom?

Did you not come then? Was she right? Were I abandoned?

“Severus?”

I know this voice.

Mr Potter is here, I look up and see both him and his son.

But no Tom, only Mr Malfoy.

“Mr Potter? Mr Malfoy? Where is Tom…? I made trouble again, didn’t I?”

“You didn’t do anything bad, child. You need to rest”

“Tom couldn’t come” heh? What Mr Malfoy means? **_Ah, he finally left me…_** “ Ministry take over your guardianship for two weeks and then he will be your guardian again. Until then, he’s forbidden to come see you as to not try anything… funny.” So I’m not abandoned… two weeks with no Tom?

“Letters? Can I write to him?” I know I sound desperate.

I am.

“Unfortunately not, he is to sort all out and it is a consequences of giving you under a care of someone irresponsible”

“She nearly killed him”

“Please, don’t dramatize, Lord Potter, his injuries were not mortal, just severe. Bella will of course pay for her insensitiveness”

“Insensitiveness? You call attacking a twelve years old child an insensitiveness? His pain is only worth so much to you all? Then I wish for you to be out now. No need to make Severus feel guilty of something he didn’t do. “

Before I can say something… My head is hurting, I want to vomit… and everything spinning a little.. Tom can’t come…

“Very well, see you soon, Severus. Any words?”

“I can’t… go home?” I don’t know why but his stern mask disappeared for a moment and he looked at me with… pity.

“No, unfortunately, if you ever would come back there, that is”

_No,no no no no no no no no no no no no …_

So Tom does not want me anymore…

I can feel something snapped in me, in my heart… in my soul…

My eyes are wet…

Ah, I know this feeling. So good I know it.

The same when ma died.

The same when da killed ma and died too.

The same kind of loss.

I lost my world yet again.

_And all lost its meaning too._

_I do not matter._

_Magic do not matter._

_People do not matter._

_Tom do not matter._

**_Nothing matters anymore…_ **

**_I am empty again._ **


	33. Inside ones' mind

**_Abraxas’ pov_ **

I know what I said is cruel and imply many things.

I know it very much.

It was necessary as if they think he is clearly unhappy with them, then they will return him faster than later. And Tom need him returned as fast as possible or we will have to change to Plan B.

All the while he is so close to getting there! People follows him, half-bloods, pure-bloods and even many muggleborns agree with him, when he properly twist his words and meanings. It is all so close he can’t go crazy now.

Not now.

With the state kid is in now, it will not be even 3 days when they ask Tom to come.

This is obvious that Dumbledore won’t give up a child for his plans like that… Or even if he could, Potter will not. Never.

So we will get him back faster.

I hope these tears are worth it.

Now it is time to calm down Tom before he kills Bella. She’s still useful and Black, even if she made a mistake. I suppose she will feel the cruciatus of his properly through.

No one touch his things. It is a rule and you broke it, dear daughter of Cygnus.

And so you will pay.

.

.

.

.

.

She’s still alive.

2 hours of nearly constant torture.

In order to not let her lose her mind, he switched to… others methods and curses after the first thirty minutes. He’s relatively calm now too and she’s getting medical help.

Our plans may have been put off by at least 2 years as well. A great mistake it was. And here both me and Orion was saying she can divide her hatred and duties. We were wrong then. But… spending time with her was supposed to show Severus that he should not talk voluntary to mudblood, not maim him.

That girl can’t even stay focused and do what she is ordered. Never any Black was that crazy.

Before Bella, three muggles adults were tortured to insanity. The way not to kill her, Orion said. It worked.

Somehow.

Now let’s make him calm down properly and a plan for retrieving Severus, instead of revenge.

Two more years won’t kill us, I hope he understand it.

“Orion? Is he in his room or..?”

“Severus’. Don’t try to enter, his other pet will kill you, she got a mood from her owner” Poisonous Nagini. Never underestimate a snake. “The kid? He was not that badly hurt, was he?”

“Broken rib and severe concussion” Tom probably already knows anyway “If aurors didn’t take him and make this little… situation, she would bring him here and rather not help. He could be way worse, so maybe it is lucky. What happened I mean. Not even Lucius would go against her if he didn’t see any outright damage. Kid moved as if nothing was wrong… Probably remembered his… time from before. Who knows? Maybe even used occlumency to shut down pain”

“Merlin, are they really keeping him with Potter for..?”

“They won’t.”

“No?”

“No, they will see the reason if he is unhappy without Tom, they will give him back. Not even Dumbledore would be that blind”

“You didn’t say anything unnecessary?” He’s suspicious. Good, he is Black.

“Nothing not true” because if he let it be, he could not come back here.

“So we’re waiting?” for the next move, to use the best strategy and win the next round.

“We do, now until Tom get…. access-able again, tea?”

“Yes, it would be nice to have one now”

**_Me’s pov_ **

The school martyr is looking at the patient with a sadness and helplessness in her eyes.

“He’s not responding at all. Completely closed off, Albus, we should ask for his guardian, he may be more recognizable than any of us. He do react a little to Mr Potter!”

The old wizard looked thoughtful.

“No, we can’t do it, the Ministry said that no visit are permitted.”

“No visit? You really expect me to hand him over in such a state? It is impossible!!”

“There is no other choice, Poppy, if he stays here, Tom will got him back easily. Too easily. I want to make sure he can leave that place. Let me try again. Alone”

The nurse looked horrified.

“You really want to use legilemency on him? With his mind so closed? You may hurt him!”

“Or saved him. No other option, Poppy, or he will be too far gone to help him in two weeks. It is for his own good”

“Then surely his guardian…”

“Would temporary get him better, emotionally dependant on him, without his own free will. Let’s try to give him freedom. To let him think on his own. The freedom he never possessed or give up on.”

They were looking each other into the eyes until the woman signed and left.

Only the bearded wizard stayed and with his twinkling eyes looked into the eyes so cold and dead as if its owner were.

Partly he might have been.

“I’m sorry, Severus, let us try to help you…”

**_Legilemens!!_ **

The inside of the child’s mind was so empty, so cold and so dead, that the old wizard couldn’t believe it. It took him a lot to notice a little, dark single door, one suitable for a little kid.

Getting in was hard. The frog around was distracting him, trying anything not to let him enter. Even so, old wizard was not only more experienced, but possessed more magical power and with great difficulty entered the next layer of the child mind forcefully.

The view was not nice. It was a house, the one in which the child was born. The inside was terrible, not because of its appearance, but the fear it represented. A pain. Harm caused by the one who should have protected him. It took all the courage the old wizard possessed to move forward.

He found the boy in the little, not too nice, not colorful, not personal room.

It was a sad room, but still it was the only place where fear was lower. Less intimidating.

_The boy was under the bed._

“Hello, little one, I think it is time to come back to us”

“Who are you?”

“Headmaster of Hogwart, Albus Dumbledore. You’re my student, don’t you remember?”

“Magic does not matter, it is useless”

“If I say that magic can connect people?”

“People are useless too. Only hurt each other… only hurt me”

“And you? Who are you?”

“A useless freak, of course. You?”

“Old fool and wizard, child. Let me help you get out of here”

“I’m not going”

“Why?”

“There is no reason to go. There is no one to go to…”

“What about Tom?”

“Who is Tom?”

“Ah, you don’t remember, then let’s make a deal. You come with me and I will help you remember things? I will help you with finding your own way.” The child got out from under the table suspiciously looking at his intruder. This was the moment the old wizard saw the ring. It could only mean one thing “ If you touch the ring, you will remember. You will be hurt, you will be in pain, but we will help you get through. Can you try to be happy once again?”

There was a long silence from the child.

Finally he said it.

“Okey.”

He was not smiling, while taking off the ring. It all come back, at once, all pain and ruined hope and happiness and loss and people.

So much, so many important people.

Tom.

It hurts, it pains the child. But he is a Slytherin, survivor.

So he chose to go after the wizard, The headmaster Albus Dumbledore, and once again leave that cursed house.

And this time never come back.

“So… Has Tom left me for real, headmaster?”

Was the first question…

“And don’t lie, you were in my head for long enough, I will tell, if you lie.” For some reason, the threat seemed real to the old wizard.

“He said he’s waiting for you, child. What about you?”

“I… Tom is another house like that, isn’t he? The one I am afraid of leaving, afraid of going ahead without him… If I go back… I will never be able to leave… But I miss him so terrible… and then he will not start the war…”

“How you know about it?”

“You were in my head, saw my fear, pain and then… my happiness, my ring which contained all I got after Tom come, my treasure. At the same time I saw your fear, your fear of Tom, of my similarity to him, of the war and people who will die. What are you going to do, headmaster? Tom will not lose to you. He never loses. And you’re old. You will die first and then no one can stop him. This is your fear… So what is your choice, headmaster?”

“I have no idea, my boy. We can only prevent and prepare. Saving life is harder to accomplished than taking it.”

“I know, it was not hard for da to kill ma… and my magic… no, I have no trouble with killing da… but no amount of crying and trying and pleading would save ma. Not back then. It was too late… I decided not to try to fix him when I realized ma can’t be fixed. Am I evil? “

“No, child, he was for doing what he was doing to you. You were innocent and in pain. Magic decided to protect you. Never forget it was not your fault. Never lose yourself in lying to yourself you’re fine when you’re not or that anything you deem wrong is fine. Trust your heart”

“I hate it. This all…. I will be at Mr Potter’s place for next 2 weeks?”

“12 days, child. For two you were nearly catatonic.”

“Okey... Thank you for finding me. It was scary… being there again.”

“No problem, child, Severus, I’m so sorry for everything…” with that he started to go to the doors.

“Good evening, I will let Poppy take care of you now” The old wizard didn’t answer the questioning look sent his way. Just left the young charge with a martyr and leave with tears in his eyes.

_**James's pov** _

Will he be okay?

I asked dad many times, but nothing came of it. We were all scared after he start looking at us so… like nothing.

Dad was so scared he started to hug him and beg him to say something…

Later I heard a discussion between mom and dad. He was like that once.

When dad find him, in **_that house…_**

So it was why dad wanted to save him… I want to do it too. He needs help. I can see it now. How could I even ever told his secret, I have no idea. I was such an idiot.

It is obvious he’s no Slytherin. No Slytherin cares that much. He’s just as much Gryffindor as I. So he is a good Slytherin. We will help him get back and get better and… and not be so sad anymore.

I managed to talk with Sirius and he said his father thinks we will gave back Severus quickly! Not on my watch! Through we won’t take him home until Mr Pomfrey let us. It is already third day. Third day of him being supposed to be here and nothing.

Sirius was graciously allowed to come, but only because if we don’t take him home soon, they will have excuse to take him away. Sirius told me and dad it.

Dad seems worried. A lot of. But then, headmaster is coming today and maybe has some news. For sure it must be a good news.

Mom said everything will be alright, then I believe her.

Siruis is also nervous.

But then, someone come through floo. Not only one person.

**_He’s here!_ **

Mom stop us from jumping in to see him and talk and ask and maybe… just maybe hug! I mean… Just look at him! He’s no more so silent and so sad! He’s so much better dad is nearly crying.

“I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused you all” Severus said. Well, somehow I can’t think of him as snake or git or Snape anymore. First two are not nice and the last too formal.

“So you’re better now?”

“You won’t die, will you?”

We’re both saying and he looks confuse who to answer first.

“Isn’t it obvious or I wouldn’t be here? Seriously, Potter, if I want to die, I will sent you an owl saying so” sarcasm and rolling eyes! He’s so fine I want to prank him! He has this effect on me… I will write Lily! She was also worried.

“I’m leaving him in your capable hands, Fleamont. This is what Poppy wrote for you…”

“Thank you, Albus, we will manage” Dad is smiling so wide I think it is contagious as I and Sirius start smiling too.

After headmaster is gone and while we were going to show him his room, he said something strange.

“Thank you… for helping me back then.”

“What? Of course we helped you, you’re our mate like Remus and Pete!”

“What? I’m not your mates! Who decided it! I never agreed for anything!!”

Silly. And you’re so intelligent, they say.

“Of course I decided it!!Who else!? You don’t have to disagree!”

“What?!!”

“Just get used to it, James does not let go” Sirius informed him and I smile and we get him to go faster with us. There is so much fun things to do that we can’t waste time on walking normally, can we?

And I need to write Evans too!!


	34. Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the summary of what I wanted to write. This is first part. I might make a sequel soon. For now I'm going to focus on studies/
> 
> Last chapter so enjoy, people!

**_Sev’s pov_ **

I had… fun.

They are so different from Evan, Regulus or Tom.

And yet… I had a lot of fun with those idiots. As I like it when Lily is talking to me. I think I understand now.

**_I’m cold too._ **

Like so many people around me, if I were to read myself as I read them, I would be cold too.

So I desire to be warm like them, to have so much feelings like them, to feels so happy like them.

But wanting something and having it are two different things.

I can’t be warm like that in the same way, the darkness inside me will eat it, twist it, mutate it…

The only time I am warm is when I am with Tom. Even if it is not the same, I feels, I’m happy and I am as warm as I can be. Even if I am to stay with warm people, I won’t be like them, never like them. I will long and desire and be jealous and hate. I will hate them for having so easily something I did desire from the moment I started understanding. From the moment I get to know about happiness from my mother.

People like me won’t be happy through. I can love. I know I can.

I love Tom.

I love Mr Potter and Mrs Potter.

I love Evan and Lucius and Regulus.

I… I love Lily, James and Sirius…

But if I try to get this love, to get closer to it, I’m getting greedy. And it twists all. It’s never enough, not to my soul. I desire to be loved wholly, perfectly, something I won’t get from any of them.

Not even Tom.

The journey to my mind, the help from headmaster, the seeing inside his heart… it made me realize my own lack.

My lack of love.

The lack of the first love I should get.

The parents who refused to love me.

Ma tried, but it was never volunteered one, never selfless one, not real one. It was out of duty. Duty she was once born into and run away from and regret running from.

Da stopped entirely caring the moment he got to know what we are.

So I can’t love the way they do as I am lacking. Maybe only after many years I will be able to. Or never. I know many children don’t have love. Many are not given it.

But none of them are me.

My great capability for affection is here along with great hunger of it. I desire Tom’s love. More than anyone else as he is the first one. The first one who was next to me, care for me, make me feel happy.

But Tom can’t love me like that. He didn’t have parents as well. He lacks love even more than me. That’s why he took me in. He felt it, me being the opposite of him.

I desire what he despised. He desired what I cared nothing of as a child.

He, who is even more empty than me, is feeling whole with me around. He finds his way around it, I am his substitute and now… He can move forward. And he will take me with him if I want it or not.

I loved him so much, I loved his attention, I loved his care so blindly that I stopped paying attention to the signs.

The hatred to Mr Potter the first time he come see me and then every time he saw him.

The hatred toward Evan whenever he’s around me.

The hatred toward anyone who paid attention to me.

**_So what?_ **

I still want to go back.

It is wrong decision. Normal person would just run away, but I am not one. I might have been quite normal, if I didn’t let this… emptiness change shape, eat any emotion I come across and evolve.

If the first person I felt love toward was warm, light, I might have a chance to learn to be ‘truly’ warm, not falsely.

And be rejected later with the expressions and experience learned. And be able to go on, no matter how miserable. Because there would be something filling this hole. The existence of that person.

There is nothing there now. False warm can’t stay in. Like a false memory can’t be kept eternally without damage the brain.

I can’t learn to be like them anymore. I can only go back or be miserable and die. Cause if I’m not back, he will kill me. For betrayal. For leaving him. For making him empty again.

So…

The choice.

Do I go back or do I die?

**_Tom’s pov_ **

Two weeks is up.

He didn’t come back sooner.

Abraxas seemed to believed he would. As if the old fool would let it happened.

Potter is supposed to bring him here if he want to come back. Of course he want to come back, right? Why wouldn’t he?

So what I am so afraid of then? He will be back.

In a moment, they will give him back.

**_Or I will kill them all._ **

Plan A or not… I will not forgive them. I will make them all pay.

But no… he will come back. For sure.

Yea…

Someone has come. The meeting was to be in neutral ( not so much) ground of Black house as they were supposed to return Sirius Black as well.

Taking other children…

“Tom!!” this voice, the hands around…

“Well, nearly welcome home, hmm? Only I would repeat when we’re home.”

“Yhm” something about him change… as if he… grow up a little? But he seems the same height that in Abraxas memory. Maybe a little more carefree? Well, so long with Gryffindors would affect anyone.

Potters are here too.

“Mr Riddle, it was a pleasure to host your ward” false smile indeed.

“Mr Potter, thank you for taking care of him. He didn’t cause any trouble?” polite talk and all… I won’t give them more reason to doubt or plan A is non-existent

“Not at all. They seems to become friends through. I hope they can meet some time again”

My Severus… with them? I’m looking at him expectantly.

“They are not bad, when they stop playing idiots” he just shrug it off…

“No, we’re not. You are an idiot” what? How dare he...

“I know, take care, dunderheads.”

“You too, snake”

Is it some new code I don’t know about? I will ask later.

“Orion, we will see you another time. Severus has to pack out now. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye” My Severus said with his hand waving sadly. Really, what changed?

At home I finally asked that question.

**_*flashback for readers, not for Tom, only Severus*_ **

****

_“You were right”_

_“Hm?” James Potter has a problem with answering, having his mouth full of ice-cream._

_“Tom is evil”_

_“He? You can see it finally? “ asked Sirius hopefully._

_“Yes…” there was a sad note to his voice, giving a warning bells to James. He knew it is not to end like he wanted. “I’m sorry, I can’t chose you. He may be evil, he may be the worst man on this world, the greatest psycho and the enemy of mankind, I don’t really know how bad it is, but… But I chose him”_

_Others boys choked on it._

_“If you know that he is evil, then..” James Potter couldn’t believe his ears._

_It was not happening for him._

_It was not supposed to be like it._

_“I know I’m choosing wrong, I know it”_

_“Then…” Sirius started, but Severus didn’t let him end._

_“I will chose him anyway, cause I’m stupid idiot who decided to chose him cause I love him. No matter how wrong he is, how evil he is, I will choose him. So I am an idiot. Big idiot. So Gryffindor of me, to go along with emotions…”_

_“It is not…”_

_“James, if by Slytherin logic, I am to go back into the hell, I should try to run. But I don’t want to. By heart, like a foolish Gryffindor I might have been, I will go back as I love him. So I will choose badly. So… after I go back… Go back to hating me. One day we will be on opposite side and… my chance to be on your passed, James, the moment your father lost the fight for my guardianship and no one else from light side tried. I was six. Back then I might have adored Tom a lot, but… I could start loving someone else and love him just as much. I know it. No one come forward. I was left with Tom and now… I can’t live without him and be happy. I can’t be saved anymore. So after tomorrow… Hate me. Despise me as any other snake. And never show me mercy. I won’t show you as well after we’re out of Hogwart. Until then, I will be neutral. Tomorrow will be the last farewell and… start being ready for the future. See into yourself what you desire and tell Lily to keep away from me. I am dangerous from now on.”_

_They were gaping at him as if he were to say it is all a joke. They got only…_

_“I’m sorry you can’t substitute him. I’m sorry I choose him”_

****

**_*the end of flashback*_ **

“I just chose a side, Tom. Yours.”

So I smile.

The best words for me to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you people liked it. I thought that.. going through all years would be bothersome and bad things to keep things interesting can't be happening. If in sequel there is some important moment from the past, there would be just flashback. Like here. 
> 
> Keep safe, get going, live your life and find your own happiness! Thanks everyone for reading ^^  
> Especially Trickster32 and seventhprince03 for their comments, advise and making me want to write more. Personally, I am proud of it and the ending.
> 
> See you in the next story!


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